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‘What does being a Daddy Dom mean to you?’ she asked.
Well. There was the question. What did it mean to him? He hadn’t had the luxury of so many relationships, so for a second, he struggled with the question.
‘You know,’ he said. ‘That’s a good question. I think for a long time, I’ve been a little lost. Aside from the MC, there hasn’t been much in my life.’ He gave a wry laugh. ‘Well, other than booze, of course. Honestly, though, there’s a part of me that feels like I’ve had my last drink.’
‘Really? Not even a Sex on the Beach?’
‘A what?’
‘It’s a drink,’ she said, blushing. ‘My favorite cocktail. Kinda didn’t think through how that might sound before I said it.’
‘You know, I might make an exception for Sex on the Beach,’ he said with a grin. ‘Anyway, it’s been a minute since I’ve connected with the Daddy part of myself. And the Dom side even more so.’ He looked straight at her. ‘Ever since I met you, though, I feel like the big, growly, protective Daddy Bear I used to feel like. In the old days.’
‘With ex-girlfriends?’ she asked. Was it just him, or was there a note of jealousy in her voice?
‘Well, yeah,’ he said, ‘but it was more how I’d feel when I imagined what a relationshipcouldbe like. None of the relationships I had ever came close to what Ithoughta DDlg couple could be like. Does that make sense?’
She nodded.
And…’ He stopped for a moment. He almost seemed nervous. ‘You’re a Little?’
‘Mmmhmm.’
‘That’s something of a spectrum, too?’ He raised an eyebrow.
‘Everyone’s different. I think. I’m not so experienced.’ She let out a nervous laugh.
‘That makes two of us,’ he replied. ‘What’s your Little like?’
‘Scared,’ Sophia said, quick as a flash. ‘She doesn’t come out to play very often. Even then, when I was playing with Molly, I couldn’t fully relax. I’m always holding back.’
‘Must be hard to let go when you’ve had to be so guarded for your whole life.’
‘I guess.’
‘I bet your parents weren’t exactly understanding when it came to alternative lifestyles. I imagine an old Italian Mafia family are fairly conservative?’
She gritted her teeth at that word. Mafia. A word that had haunted her dreams since she was a kid.
‘With a capital C,’ she confirmed grimly. ‘Sometimes when I think back to the kind of stuff my dad used to say, it makes me feel so embarrassed. And not about anything nearly as niche as age play stuff, of course.’
‘I’ll bet.’ He paused for a moment, weighed up whether he thought this was a good idea. ‘We had a similar childhood, in a way.’ It felt good to speak to her about it. ‘I almost went into it earlier. My Dad was a gangster.’
‘A gangster?’
‘He was a biker. Part of the Aryan Brotherhood. A horrendous Neo-Nazi gang.’ Wolf gestured to his cut. ‘This was his. About the only thing of his I still have. Course, it looked a hell of a lot different back then.’ He pointed out faded patches of denim where his father’s old club insignias had been. ‘I stripped off a lot of disgusting imagery from this thing. I couldn’t bear to get rid of it, though. Even though I hated him I…’
‘You loved him, too?’
‘Exactly. Relationships with our parents are always complicated,’ he said. ‘I worshiped him when I was a kid. He was my hero, you know?’
He went and sat on the end of the bed. Wolf wanted to be close to Sophia, but he also didn’t want to crowd her.
‘Same with my Papa,’ she replied.
‘Comes a point when you realize that your parents are just, like, ordinary people. You know, in the sense that they’re not the superheroes you think they are when you’re really young. Then things got real bad with my mom. And with me.’ Even now, when he was at his most vulnerable, it was still almost impossible to share what had happened.
He felt Sophia’s hand on her arm. ‘I feel guilty about it,’ she said tenderly. ‘How could I have loved such a monster?’ Her voice was careful, considered. It was obvious that she’d given this a lot of thought. ‘That’s why I’ve stayed away from men for so long. Because I’m worried that I could end up loving another monster. But I don’t want that for myself.’
