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I had a few more bites and went to my room upstairs as quickly as I could. I was afraid Lucas would pop in the hallway. I definitely had no desire to cross him. I spent the last four years avoiding him. Why would I piss him off when I was so close to leave this fucking town forever?
Except I wasn’t anymore. I had zero cash. No supplies for making new pieces to sell. Even my sketches were gone. That dude Elizabeth told me about, her ex-boyfriend, was my best shot. I had to stay here. At least for now.
I had almost zero sleep that night. The next morning, my head was pounding, reminding me of that tossing and turning in my new temporary bed. I went to school for the first time since the fire, and I was looking and feeling like shit.
“You’re not listening,” Dylan said with a smile and not at all irritated.
I enjoyed the fact that he was the one doing the talking, since everyone else grilled me about the fire and my mother’s breakdown. Hannah warned me there were rumors about drugs and suicide attempt, but I didn’t expect that much of attention.
“I’m sorry. I’m so tired,” I rested my head on his arm only for a second while we were walking slowly towards my locker. “I didn’t sleep last night. And all these questions people ask are torturing my barely functioning brain.”
“Why?” Dylan removed a lock of hair that was falling in front of my eyes and tucked it behind my ear, while I was digging in my backpack. He was leaning on shoulder on the locker next to mine.
“I don’t like explaining myself to people,” I shrugged and he chuckled.
“Not that,” he leaned closer to me. “Why didn’t you sleep?”.
I was so tired. I didn’t move away even an inch. I bet this kind of leaning into one another was the reason Lucas called Dylan my boyfriend.
I knew he was asking about Lucas. Was he the one keeping me awake last night, considering we were now living together? It was another hot topic in school. The weird chick that hated people, living with the manwhore who couldn’t live without other people’s adoration. Not that anyone would dare to call Lucas a whore. That was only in my head.
Apparently no one remembered we were once friends. I couldn’t judge them. It was hard for me to remember it too. And painful.
Dylan, on the other hand, was anything but painful. He was nice and thoughtful. And he really was handsome. Sexy. Hannah was right. His blond, slightly curly hair, friendly smile and eyes that never looked away from me when I was near, could actually be a good thing for me. If I had any desire to date him, which I didn’t. Not that he had asked me out anyway. We were just two friends, sharing a four-year-old secret.
“Oh, my God, your brain is really not functioning,” he teased and I remembered I forgot to answer his question about my sleeping problems. I was about to laugh, but, as I moved away from my locker, I bumped into someone and lost my balance.
A pair of strong veiny hands helped me stay on my feet. It turned out my brain was functioning just enough to recognize Lucas’s scent of pine, wood, and my next nervous breakdown, before I even saw his face. I got a sniff of it last night when he told me he would stay away from me if I stayed away from him. His fingers left a trail of goosebumps from my elbows to my wrists before he removed them from my skin.
“A word?” he asked looking down at me. I was tall for a woman, but he still soared ten inches above me. I frowned. I wanted to tell him to beat it, but I was also curious. I cocked my head sideways and placed a hand over my chest theatrically.
“Are you bipolar?” I pretended to be shocked, paused, then returned to my normal self again. “I thought we’re not talking to each other.”
Maybe Elizabeth was right and he could really forgive me.
“I’m not talking to you, nemesis,” Lucas scowled and leaned forward.
Nemesis? Seriously?
“I’m talking to your boyfriend,” he added.
He spat the wordboyfriendlike it was an insult. I blushed both from anger and embarrassment. Oh, and his closeness. Somehow it got on my nerves even though we were surrounded by people, and he couldn’t say or do anything to me. It would hurt his good guy status.
I got the feeling my friendship with Dylan got on Lucas’s nerves, so I decided to use this against him and neither deny nor confirm a relationship between us.
“Oh, my bad,” I smiled and batted my eyelashes. I could swear I saw his lips trying to smile against his will. “He’s all yours,” I added with a buttery tone that suggested this exchange was the ultimate pleasure for me, but I actually wanted to smash his balls with my knee.
I left Dylan and Lucas in the hallway, pretending I wasn’t interested in their conversation. I tried to stay calm. This couldn’t be related to me. I did nothing to provoke it.
They were probably talking football. Maybe Lucas needed him to join the team. I tried to convince myself that was a real possibility, even though deep down I knew Lucas would ask literally anyone on planet Earth before he asked Dylan for any favor whatsoever.
Two hours later I was sitting under the bleachers, still trying to figure out reasons for Lucas and Dylan to be talking that didn’t include me.
“I can’t believe these assholes,” Hannah murmured for the fiftieth time that day. She meant our classmates who made this first day back at school extra crappy.
“Fuck them,” I rubbed my temple. I was so tired. “They will stop, or they won’t, either way I don’t care,” I released a sigh. “I’m sorry about my father’s reaction. Are your parents mad?”
“What? No! They feel guilty as hell. They think he’s right,” she paused. “God, Clem, I think he’s right. They knew,Iknew all along, and I never really helped you. You could have died.”
