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“I think he did. I thought it was weird he wasn’t angry at me after New Year’s. And what do you know? He was already in a secret alliance with Amy.”
“He’s done playing games. I will tell the whole football team to make his life a living hell.”
“You founded an anti-bullying club. I think this goes against its values,” I murmured. “Leave it. The damage is done.”
Hannah shot up.
“No way! You and Lucas could have had a chance if it wasn’t for those assholes.”
“No,” I shook my head and started crying. “That’s not on him. I was keeping the secret. Dylan and Amy just smelled the blood and went for it. But I was the one that made us bleed in the first place.”
Hannah squeezed my hand and started talking.
“Maybe you could still fix it. You hurt him, but he loves you. You can go over there”, she pointed to his house through my window. “You can explain and…”
“No, I can’t.”
“Clem,” she looked at me with a serious face. “You’re making the same mistake. Go to him and explain.”
“No,” I frowned. “He deserves better. And I can’t even look Elizabeth in the eye.”
“So you’re not even going to tell him about Amy and Dylan?”
“What’s the point? I did this. Not Dylan.”
“See,” Hannah yelled. “You’re doing the right thing now. You’re taking responsibility for your actions. Isn’t that what Lucas wanted all along? He will forgive you.”
“I don’t want him to forgive me. I will leave after graduation. It would be easier for everyone if he hates me.”
“So you are not even going to consider staying?” Hannah was disappointed. I understood that. I would miss her too.
“I don’t want to stay. I want to leave. You will go somewhere, hopefully far away from Boston,” I shot her a look. “Lucas will go somewhere too. Everything will be fine.”
We stood there silent for a moment.
“Are you worried about tomorrow?” she asked referring to my family dinner.
“Worried? No. But I still have no desire to participate.”
“Everything will be fine,” she repeated my words. She believed in that statement just as much as I believed in it. Not at all.
“Can you spend the night?” I asked.
“Sure. I’ll call mom,” she reached between us and grabbed my phone thinking it was hers. “Oops, that’s yours,” she said but stared at my screen. “Umm, Clem? You have a lot of missed calls for Elizabeth Cole. Texts too.”
My heart sank. I knew she deserved the right to yell at me, but I was scared to death that she finally started to hate me.
“Let me see the texts. I can’t call her back now.”
I took my phone and read while Hannah explained to her mother she would sleep at my place tonight.
Elizabeth: Clem, pick up.
Ten minutes later.
Elizabeth: I’m not mad. I just want to talk.
Elizabeth: I know it’s hard, but you have to talk to him. It’s not about his closure only. You need it too.
