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“Can you stop staring at me?” she asked, and I blinked and realized that I had been staring at her.
“Sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“What kind of thoughts?” She pulled a thin slice of potato off the pizza and ate it. I’d never seen Emma disassemble her food before. That was something I usually did.
“Can we not do this right now? I just want to have dinner with you and watch crappy TV and talk like we always talk. I need time, Emma. I just need time.” Pleading entered my voice and now my emotions were threatening to spill over.
I was completely overwhelmed.
“I’m sorry,” she said, sniffling a little and then starting to dismantle another piece of pizza.
“I’m sorry too. This is just a weird situation and you’ve been thinking about it for years and years and I’ve been thinking of it for less than twenty-four hours. I need time to catch up. Time to breathe. Time to think.” She nodded and stared at her pizza.
“Do you need that time away from me?” Her voice quivered and I realized that was one thing she was afraid of. That I was going to bail on her.
“No. Definitely not. I just need time away from all that to get my shit together. You know me, it takes longer than most.” I didn’t think I’d ever feel like I had my shit together. Maybe when I was eighty, and I would celebrate that day. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Em.” I reached out and squeezed her foot.
“Good,” she said, and then folded the pizza in half and shoved most of it in her mouth. Guess we were good. Vegas woke up with a yip, as if he was upset to be awake. Same, puppy. Same.
––––––––
WE FINISHED OUR PIZZAand were lounged on the couch when Emma started tilting her head from side to side and rubbing the back of her neck with her fingers.
“Do you need some help over there?” I asked.
“No, I’m good. I just have a little stress hanging out in my neck.” Yeah, no wonder.
“Come on, turn around.” I motioned for her to do so and she scooted so her back was facing me.
“Hold on just a second,” I said, hopping up and running to my room. I came back with some CBD moisturizer and a little bottle of lavender essential oil. I mixed the two in my palms and started rubbing her neck and shoulders. I had to move her shirt aside and this would have been a lot easier if she was wearing a tank top. Or nothing at all.
This might have been a mistake. As soon as I started rubbing and digging into her muscles and feeling how warm and soft her skin was and hearing the little sounds of pleasure she made, I was instantly turned on and feeling pretty uncomfortable in my downstairs area. Even my nipples were tingling and I didn’t think that was a thing. I thought it was made up.
“That feels really good,” Emma said, and I tried to focus on rubbing the knots out of her neck without moving my hands lower or ripping off her shirt. I wanted to do both of those things more than I wanted to breathe right now.
Emma leaned back against me and leaned her head forward to give me more access to her neck.
“This would be easier if you took your shirt off,” I blurted out. That was a thought that was supposed to stay in my head. Oops?
“Okay,” she said, and a second later she wasn’t wearing a shirt. She had a bra on, so that was a blessing, or a curse, depending. I gasped a little and choked on some of my own saliva that flooded my mouth as if Emma was something delicious I wanted to devour.
“Everything okay?” she asked, looking at me over her shoulder. She had an innocent look, but I wasn’t fooled. She was trying to seduce me, and I was going to let her. After that talk of giving me space, Emma was using her wiles on me. I had to admire her shamelessness.
“Yup, fine,” I said, managing to clear my throat and start my lungs working again. I’d seen Emma in a bra many, many times before, but never under quite these circumstances.
I put my fingers on her skin and she leaned into me more, begging for my fingers to touch her.
“I’m just going to move this,” I said. Two could play this game. I could seduce her right back. I’d never thought of myself as a seductress, but whatever I’d done last time had worked, so I was going to go with this. I didn’t want to be the only one who was uncomfortable.
I dug my fingers into her muscles, really working hard to get rid of the tension she stored there. She moaned and I just massaged harder. Good to know that she didn’t mind if I treated her like a piece of clay I was mad at.
I put more lotion and oil on my hands and moved to her other shoulder, even though she hadn’t asked me to work on that one. She wasn’t complaining. My fingers moved further down her back, and she leaned forward to give me better access.
“This is getting in my way, so I’m going to take it off,” I said, and gave her a minute to protest before I undid the hooks on her bra and pushed it out of my way. She let the straps fall fully down her arms and then pulled it all the way off. This moment had certainly escalated and I wondered which one of us was going to tap out first, or if that would even happen. Not going to lie, I was ready for sex again. Sure, I’d said I needed time to think about what my feelings were, but I could also do that while fucking Emma. I was a multi-tasker.
I moved lower and lower on Emma’s back until there wasn’t anywhere else for me to go so I went back up and she looked at me again.
“Touch me,” she said. I held up my hands.
