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Well, that was outside of enough. “You were hardly blameless,” she hissed, more than conscious of the crowd in the room as well as the looks of concern the Duchess of Whittington kept shooting their way.
“On that I fully agree, but those cuts remain deep, regardless if I regret what happened now.” He shook his head. “Perhaps we should move to a more private location. There are many prying eyes out tonight, especially after your spectacular exit not a quarter of an hour past.”
Heat sank into her cheeks. “Remind me to apologize to Lord Hollingsworth. That wasn’t well done of me.”
Remarkably, the corners of his lips twitched upward with the beginnings of a smile. “I enjoyed it, but yes, he does perhaps warrant an apology.”
“I shouldn’t have acted on emotion.” What would the gossips say about her this time?
“Don’t change now, for that’s how you’ve always been.”
Was that an insult? She couldn’t tell, for he’d turned away and opened one of the French-paned doors that led to the terrace. The slight draft of chilly air cooled her overheated skin, and she followed when he moved outside. Before she could add to the conversation, he spoke again.
“I don’t wish to argue with you. The anger that precipitated our broken engagement has run its course long ago.”
She gawked at him in a most unladylike fashion. “That’s what I wanted to say as well.” Could it be he’d matured over the years the same as she?
“Good.” He pulled away only to stop at the stone wall. As he gazed out into the winter-bare gardens, he asked. “Where are you at in your life, Lynette? Why are you here?”
“At Ivy Castle?” That was an easy answer.
“No, in Warwickshire.”
And that was a more difficult one. “My mother wrote and asked that I come for a visit for Christmastide.” She trailed behind him, dared to stand beside him but couldn’t look at him. “Apparently, she’s in financial trouble. I’d hoped to do something that might help.”
“Selling pastries.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes. How did you know?” It both surprised and pleased her that he was apparently well-versed about her life.
“My niece, Lucy, has befriended your son. Neither one of them have learned the art of guarding their tongues as yet.” A hint of amusement rang in his voice.
“I see.” She’d need to talk with John regarding discretion. “But yes. Baking is a talent. I often do it in Surrey to pay for expenses in keeping the cottage running.” Where there might have been shame in the admission years ago, that had passed. Her life might not be as remarkable as his, but it was hers.
“I’m impressed. Once upon a time, I remember when you said you had no idea what happened within the kitchens.” A fair amount of teasing lingered in his tones, and as he turned his head, the same reflected in his dark eyes thanks to the golden illumination spilling from the drawing room behind them.
Heat infused her cheeks. “I was naïve then. On many things,” she added in a whisper. Perhaps breaking her engagement with Stephen had been sheer folly, for had she married him, there wouldn’t be the struggles she faced currently. “As for life, it’s what you make it. Good or bad, you must own everything that happens, for it weaves the fabric of one’s soul.”
“An interesting explanation.”
For long moments they stood in silence as the cold seeped into her person. “What about you, Stephen? Are you happy?”
His expression drooped. “If I’m honest, no I’m not, and I haven’t been in some time.”
The words pricked at her heart like a thousand tiny knives. “Because of me?”
“Your rejection was but one reason.” He waved a hand as if it didn’t matter. “My father is ailing and will probably expire soon.” A tiny note of desolation had crept into his voice, probably not noticeable by someone who didn’t know him as well as she did. “My twin will be the next duke, a responsibility he doesn’t want and might fail miserably at.”
Daring much, she laid a gloved hand on his arm. When the muscles beneath her fingertips flexed, she dropped her hand. “You’re jealous of Lord Hollingsworth?”
“Perhaps a tad, but I’m mostly concerned for him.” His gaze flitted from her hand on the railing to her face, confusion in his eyes. “The title is nothing to sneeze at and Griffin isn’t exactly taking society by storm.”
“Give him time. He might surprise everyone.” She paused, wondering if she should go as far as to offer advice. “Give yourself time as well.”
When he frowned, she couldn’t help staring at his mouth. Oh, how well she remembered what being kissed by this man felt like! “To do what?”
“Find out what it is you truly want from life.”
“As you did, apparently.” The trace of bitterness in the words further stabbed at her heart.
