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He didn’t need to tie himself to a woman he found suitable enough.
Didn’t need to depend on others for his own future.
His chest swelled at the idea of it. His father would have told him to take a wealthy bride and return to his lavish life. The former Earl of Rangeley had been a fun parent and Parker had enjoyed his childhood.
Did he want a pony? He got it.
A party? Of course.
But at some point, he’d begun to yearn for more. He’d wished for something beyond immediate happiness. That quick gratification always came with a following emptiness that made him want for something deeper and more meaningful. He’d been frustrated by the lows that followed the elation and he’d looked to the men around him who’d seemed content in their lives rather than restless.
They had all one thing in common.
Each man he studied seemed to find purpose in work and responsibility. And he had too over the last few years. But could he find his financial sustainability in labor as well?
If he could, then he might marry a woman he truly wanted, not one who simply met the requirements.
Millie immediately rose into his thoughts.
Those beautiful hazel eyes, her delicate features.
His chest tightened even imagining her by his side. Was it wrong to want something with his heart rather than his head? He’d spent the last four years learning to subvert his gratifications for more meaningful pursuits and he’d been far more satisfied with his life.
“Peeves lives in the village but he’s likely mucking about the stables already,” Lord Farthington said, pointing toward the large structure up ahead.
Parker nodded. “He won’t be irritated that a man who didn’t spend his life farming is giving him tips?”
Farthington shook his head. “He’s a man of good reason and understanding. He knows there’s been a great deal of development of late that he’s missed out on. We’ve been discussing his retirement, and perhaps he was right, it’s nearly time.”
“He wishes to be done?”
“I think so. If that’s the case, I’d appreciate your help in choosing someone new, if you’ve a mind. What’s more, I think it speaks well of you that you considered his feelings. Many lords don’t.”
Parker mumbled his thanks, as they continued toward the stables. He’d be happy to help the other lord, considering the gift the man was sending his way. Perhaps he’d was starting a friendship here with Lord Farthington.
He pushed thoughts of seeing Millie again out of his mind as he considered what a favorable relationship it would be with a successful lord. Parker would happily trade knowledge and services for more goods that might change his fortunes.
Would Farthington still want to be his friend when he learned that Parker wasn’t marrying his sister? And what of Millie? How would she react when she discovered the truth?
* * *
Millie satin the library staring out at the sunny gardens as her chin rested on her fist, her elbow on the sill. The bright sun mocked her melancholy.
She wished it were grey and raining. Then her mood would feel more justified. She let out a sigh of regret just as the library door opened, though she didn’t turn.
Guilt had been niggling in her gut all morning, and she’d hardly slept last night because of it.
She wanted her sister to be happy. More than anything. But she had to confess that part of her was…well…jealous.
Tillie always knew her mind and had the ability to take her plans and turn them into action. Millie seemed to just be floating along, allowing everyone else, most notably her mother, to shape her.
And now Millie had found something that for once, she might want for herself. But he, meaning Lord Rangeley, was already Tillie’s.
Her thoughts weren’t fair and she knew it. Tillie had met and attracted Lord Rangeley first. He’d come to court Tillie and Millie had no claim on him whatsoever. So why couldn’t she stop these thoughts and feelings?
She inadvertently let out another sigh.
“What has you so out of sorts?” Tillie asked from behind her.
