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CHAPTEREIGHT
The world had gone very still.Parker reminded himself to breathe.
He’d felt Millie’s interest when he’d held her in his arms, of course. He was experienced enough to know when a woman wished to be touched.
But to hear her confess that she wanted him too... The idea made his head spin.
Her breath fluttered as she continued to look out the window. “I should not.”
She was right. For so many reasons, she shouldn’t say more. They shouldn’t even be here together in the library, talking.
But they were and he might never have a chance like this again. “Because of your mother?”
Her brow knitted together as she turned to look at him again. “My mother?”
His confusion surely matched hers. “I assumed it was her expectations that made you think we shouldn’t…”
Her gaze only narrowed. “That’s true.”
“I know she wishes for you to make a spectacular match.”
Millie cocked her head to the side. “She does but that is a secondary concern for me.”
He stared down at her. “Second to what?”
“Tillie,” Millie cried, giving his hands a small shake.
Surprise rolled over him like a wave. He should have known that was the case. “You’re worried about my interest in Tillie?”
She took a large step back as she pulled her hands from his. One of her hands came up to cover her mouth as the other wrapped around her waist. When she finally dropped her fingers to her chin, her voice came out in a wobbly whisper. “I’m a terrible person. Aren’t I?”
“No,” he said, trying to soothe as he reached for her again. She moved her shoulder to the side just sliding from his grasp. “Why do you think you’re so awful?”
“I have feelings for—” And then she choked, spinning around to show him her back.
She had feelings for him? Part of him wished to whoop for joy. But his momentary elation crashed back down. If she didn’t know about him and Tillie, then he couldn’t tell her. He’d promised. And that promise was a hope that he couldn’t afford to lose.
Lord Farthington wasn’t just giving him plows and oxen. They’d deepened their bargain. He was to teach Lord Farthington’s new steward all he’d learned about farming, and in exchange, Lord Farthington had cattle, sheep, and even wagons to give in him. With that influx of goods, he’d have everything he needed to be successful on his own. He wanted to be the sort of man who made his own success, who could build a life and provide for a wife, not just have a marriage that funded his earldom.
Was the offer dependent on him holding to his bargain with Tillie?
“Millie,” he soothed again, lightly touching her shoulder. “Please don’t fret. I promise you, you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Of course I have.” Her voice trembled and he died inside to know how hurt she was and to also understand that he had the knowledge and words to erase that hurt.
But he’d made a promise. Gads, being honest was awful at times.
“You haven’t. You can’t control who you develop feelings for and it’s not as though Tillie and I…”
She turned then, looking back up at him. She was so close, his fingers itched to wrap about her waist and pull her close. “What about you and Tillie?”
“We’re not even anything yet,” he answered carefully. “We spent one garden party in each other’s company and then this visit was to assess our compatibility and interest. There is no formal agreement…” There was. They had an agreement to never be together.
Millie covered her mouth with her closed fist, and then he couldn’t help himself. She looked so upset that he wrapped his arms about her.
“You shouldn’t comfort me,” she said, her voice raw with emotion that tore up his insides. She remained stiff in his arms for a moment before she melted into him, a tremor moving down her body.
“Millie. You’re being too hard on yourself.”
