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“You…you do?” Her breath caught.
He gave her a long stare, his gaze unreadable. “Do you want to research insects? What work needs to be done?”
She caught her lip with her teeth. “Well…no. I mean, yes. But…” Gads, when did she ever trip over her words. “Have you met my friend, Juliet?”
He shook his head. “I have not.”
“She’s a spinster already and she’d bought a cottage near your home. It’s her dream to research ocean creatures and she’s asked me to help. I could devote myself to academic studies, spend my days with a dear friend…” She stalled. Now thinking the words, avoid marriage, made her stomach pitch with fear.
Alex cleared his throat. “Tillie,” he started.
“I know. I’m throwing my life away when I should be married with a family.”
Alex did stop then and suddenly he was taking both her hands in his. “Tillie,” he said again. “I’m not going to tell you whether you ought to marry or become a spinster but in terms of your friend, Juliet, has it occurred to you that you are avoiding your mother’s schemes for your future, only to fall into your friend’s?”
“What?” His words jolted through her.
“If you’re going to defy convention and make your own future. Then make your future. Not Juliet’s. Study what you love, be passionate about your passions. Don’t allow Juliet to do to you exactly as your mother is trying to do.”
She stared at him, her eyes surely the size of saucers. He was right. She’d already suspected the truth. She’d allowed herself to be swept into Juliet’s dream but she’d yet to really realize her own.
* * *
Tillie’s handswere clasped in Alex’s, but he’d like to wrap her in his arms.
When had the brave and fearless Tillie begun running from life? Her zest was still evident, but it was now dulled by her trepidation. The Tillie he remembered faced life with her spine straight and her chin held at a jaunty angle.
But this woman allowed others to dull her dreams for their own. His gaze narrowed as he watched the same realization dawn on her face. “I…” she whispered with a shake of her head.
“Tillie,” he said, being even more direct. “If you could dedicate your life to study, what would you choose as your subject?”
“Insects,” she answered softly, a bit of a fire lighting in her gaze.
“Good.” Then he pulled her a touch closer. He’d break down her choices just as he’d done his own. “And would you rather research insects full time and dedicate your entire life to the pursuit or would you rather do what I have done and place your duty first, making sure to leave plenty of room for your passion?”
“That…” she said softly, but he watched her spine grow more erect, “is what I am still deciding.”
“Excellent,” he answered with a nod. “But answer those questions for yourself.”
“I will,” she said and then she tossed her arms about his neck, pressing close to his chest as she wrapped him in a tight hug.
It only took a moment and then he embraced her too, holding her close as he dropped his face into the crook of her neck.
She squeezed him tightly and then eased her grip, clearly meaning to pull away but he held her for another moment, even as her face left his shoulder and their eyes met.
For the span of a moment, Alex wondered what it might be like to kiss her. Their lips were so close and he just knew that she’d kiss as she lived, with confidence and zeal and… He sucked in a breath.
The thought that she was a rare gem filled his thoughts again.
Behind him the footman gave a loud cough, and he took a step back. Did he wish to wed right away? Kissing Tillie in front of her footman would surely land him in holy matrimony.
But the idea didn’t fill him with dread at all. In fact…
Instead, excitement coursed through him.
Tillie’s conversation would fill his days and her kisses would fill his nights. He took her hands again, his trembling the slightest bit. He wanted to marry Tillie.
The idea filled him with such quiet confidence, it nearly stole his breath.
