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Lavinia swallowed. “Well, then I better prepare for the day.”
She scooted to the edge of the bed, still clutching the bedsheet to her chest. She was about to lower her legs to the floor when Sebastian stopped her.
“Wait,” he said, forcing her to turn toward him. He had a frown of concentration between his brows. “The boys probably won’t bring the horse anytime soon. Do you mind if I sketch you? Like this.”
Lavinia blinked. This was the last thing she’d thought he would say. Her hair was still disheveled, she was wrapped up in a sheet, and she couldn’t imagine that being sketch-worthy. “I do not think I look beautiful,” she said, then cleared her throat. “Like this.”At all.
“Beauty is bought by judgment of the eye,” he said gently. “And my eye—the eye of a connoisseur—judges your form to be exquisitely beautiful.”
“No gentleman has ever quoted Shakespeare to pay me a compliment,” Lavinia said, feeling a blush creep up her neck. No gentleman had ever paid her a compliment at all.
“Well, they’re all fools,” Sebastian said dryly.
Lavinia chuckled. “Can I keep the sheet around me?”
It was truly foolish, considering the night before. But she felt more exposed now, during daylight, than she had felt under the cover of night and under the influence of all-consuming passion.
Sebastian cleared his throat. “Whatever makes you feel comfortable.”
He picked up a pencil and a sketchbook and settled in the chair behind her. The pencil scratched against the paper as Sebastian started working. Lavinia looked at his concentrated face over her shoulder.
Whatever makes you comfortable.
She did feel comfortable with him. She did feel protected. Lavinia relaxed her hold on the sheet, letting it open further at her back, sliding against her skin and opening her bottom to his view.
Sebastian paused as he raised his eyes to look at her again and smiled.
It wasn’t a predatory smile or a self-satisfied smirk. It was a smile of pride. Whether he was proud that she’d let go of her inhibitions, or that she did indeed feel comfortable around him, she didn’t know. But it felt good to see that glint in his eyes, reassuring her that her trust was placed in the right hands.
She wondered if he could see her scars from his seat, and she hoped that he couldn’t. He didn’t give any indication that he did.
“Can I ask you something?” Sebastian asked, not taking his eyes off his sketch.
“Anything.”
His smile flashed again for a brief moment, before he asked, “I understand being shy, but after what happened last night, I wouldn’t think you’d be hiding your body from me.”
“It was dark.” Lavinia’s tongue peeked out of her lips in a nervous gesture. “You didn’t see me.”
Another flash of a smile. “Oh, I saw you. I felt you. Tasted you.”
Lavinia’s cheeks burned, and she didn’t quite know where to hide her gaze. It did seem foolish that she’d still feel shy, but that wasn’t it, was it? She decided to be upfront with him. “It is not easy to open oneself up for another’s scrutiny.”
Sebastian paused and looked at her with a frown between his brows. “When I say I want to see you, I do not mean that I want to judge you. I want to see you, to learn more about you. To learn more about your body, your soul. Even if you were crippled, I would not care. That is not what I am looking for.”
“What are you looking for, then?”
“I suppose I am looking for your trust in me.”
There was a pause before he resumed his sketch.
“I do trust you,” Lavinia finally said. “It is not you who is the problem, I suppose. I don’t feel comfortable naked. I don’t feel beautiful naked or even clothed. I know you will not judge me, but the words of those who did will forever live within me. Whispering to me when I’m at my most vulnerable.”
“Who are the people who judged your beauty?” A scowl appeared on his face.
“Well… My father used to scold me for being too big ever since I was a child… For him, having a belly was an indication of his wealth. For me, it meant that I had no control, was sinful, and a glutton. Of course, that made me feel bad and, as a result, I just ate even more, became even bigger, and was subject to even more scolding. My stepmother… Well, she just didn’t want to anger my father because then he’d just…” She cleared her throat. “And then when I started being overlooked by gentlemen in favor of my gorgeous friends, when I saw other ladies whisper behind their fans about me… There’s only so many times one can hear that they are plain, unshapely, and a burden before one starts to believe it, I suppose.”
“And how many times, then, do I have to remind you that you’re beautiful and an inspiration until you start to believethat?”
