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“Should I not?” I questioned.
“No, please, let’s go,” he replied, outstretching his hand.
“I’ll meet you up there in a second. I have to finish with Wolfgang.”
He kissed me once, gently, and said, “Hurry.”
I nodded, following him out of the room, only to go a separate way from him. Iskandar gave me a look, I guess wondering why I nearly ran him over.
I watched him go for a moment before I walked alone down the corridor. This whole time I was trying to be good. I was always trying to make nice. But I couldn’t be like that all the time…I couldn’t be like that within the palace, not to the family, either. I had to grow more. Be strong and firm on my own, too. There was no running for queens.
Walking to the door, I knocked once and stepped back.
“Enter.”
When I did, she sat by the window, playing cards by herself. The moment she saw me, she seemed surprised. When she moved to rise, I held my hand out to her.
“What brings you here, my dear?”
Walking to the chair across from her, I picked up the deck. “I’ve come to tell you about your fate.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You will return to Donaè Castle, Arabella,” I said, arranging the cards onto the table. “You will remain there all of your life. You will not come down for holidays. Or birthdays or any days. If anyone asks you why you will say the trip is trying, and you prefer the quiet life now.”
“I will do no such thing—”
“You will,” I snapped, putting the queen of spades card down angrily while looking her in the eye. “That is my order to you as Queen.”
“What does the king say to your trying to imprison his grandmother?” she snapped at me.
“Nothing because he will not have anything to say. Because a fancy castle with servants…is not a prison. Oh, and so you know, I will be picking out new help for you. The ones there, I will retire and pay handsomely. They will tell me all about how you are fairing and who you talk to—”
“You cannot—”
“You do not interrupt the queen,” I warned. “Or not only will your help be replaced but shrunk, and so will your allowance. I will put so much pressure on you, people will think you’ve grown a new heart and decided to live as an old nun.”
“Are you finished, Your Grace?”
“No,” I replied, arranging the cards before looking up at her. “You will never give Gale or me or anyone else your opinion. We do not want your kind of help. I think you’ve done enough with Sabina.”
She lifted her head and held her hands together, looking at me. Finally, she said, “I do not have the slightest clue what you are referring to, Your Grace. But I should warn you…you are still new. You may be Queen, but you are just the wife of the king, and there will always be a new queen—”
“You think that scares me? I am a part of this monarchy now.” I sneered. “I’m not some nobody maid. I am not a pitiful girlfriend. I am the wife of the king. I am the daughter of two legends. No one will quietly overlook me. You know my mother, and my mother knows you. Let me tell you, you don’t have that type of fight in you. I am no meek woman. I am tolerant. I have tolerated you enough. So you will tell Gale personally you wish to go home. Then we will never hear from you again!” I tossed all the cards onto the table before getting up to go.
“Without me, without what I’ve done to keep this family going…we would be ruined by now! Don’t pretend to be a good person, my dear. You are proving right now you are willing to do what must be done for the good of the monarchy. You didn’t even tell the king… I must say I am impressed; I didn’t think you had it in you. You and I are at different points on the same line. You are much better than Elspeth.”
I frowned, turning back to her, but she was just cleaning up the cards. “Do not push me, Arabella, because I will push back. Just go quietly.”
I wanted to slam the door behind me. But I closed it gently so I didn’t cause a scene. I placed my hand over my stomach and took several quick breaths, shaking as the terror ran through me.
I now knew why Elspeth said we needed to be magnanimous…why we had to show so much forgiveness and grace.
Because I so badly wanted someone to forgive me.
I opened my eyes when I felt the water splash. Odette entered slowly, her hands over her chest. She normally wore like six shower caps, but she looked too exhausted to care. In the water, she came to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. Her body was on mine, and I closed my eyes again, holding her.
Today was very heavy.
