AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Four Days After I Didn’t
Audrey was sunburnt, her hands were blistered, and her back was killing her. It had been a gruelling couple of days, but her bones sang with the warmth of purpose. The work had given her clarity; the work had given her time to think. She had persuaded Granny Parker to contrive a way to bring Josh to the almond farm today; the rest would be up to her.
As Audrey sat waiting under one of the blossoming trees, she saw Josh and his grandmother walking up from the car park towards her. Her heart beat hard in her chest. She had planned everything this time. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, but she still didn’t know if it would be enough. Even from a distance, she could see in Josh’s face that he had softened, though there was a sadness in his gait and the roll of his shoulders. When he saw her, he hesitated, just for a moment. She saw his shoulder lift and then fall as though he was taking a deep breath.
As they came closer to where she was sitting, Audrey stood up, but Josh was the first to speak. ‘Granny Parker told me she wanted to see the farm. I see she had ulterior motives.’
‘If you want me to go—’ said Audrey.
‘It’s okay,’ said Josh.
Granny Parker patted Josh on the arm. ‘I’ll go and read my book in the car. Just reached a juicy bit, so take your time.’
Josh gave a single nod. He was wearing a white linen shirt and blue shorts and had caught the sun on his face. They fell into step beside each other walking through the grove of trees. ‘Your skin looks red. How long have you been waiting out here in the heat?’ he asked.
‘I’m fine, just a little warm. Do you still have your meeting with the owner, Leon, tomorrow?’ Audrey asked.
‘Yes, he’s going to be happy. With the funds we’ve raised, we’re hoping to be able to support buying and replanting several more groves. They’re such an important part of the island’s history.’
‘That’s wonderful.’ She paused, unsure how to begin.
‘Look, I’m sorry I wasn’t ready to talk before, at the wedding or at the airport,’ Josh said. ‘I was worried I would say something I might later regret.’
‘You don’t need to apologise.’ Audrey took a breath. ‘Look, I know I might not be able to fix what I broke, but there are things I want to tell you. They’re not the reason things went wrong on Saturday, they’re things I should have shared with you before.’
Josh nodded silently, and they carried on walking up the gentle slope of the almond grove. That’s where she told him. She told him about Benedict, about her day with Fred and the next day when he didn’t come; she told him about her relationship with her mother and how it had changed after Benedict came into their lives. She told him about the panic attack she’d had in the maths exam, how it had dented her confidence to pursue anything academic. She explained that keeping those photos had been more about preserving an image of who she had been before any of that happened. Josh walked beside her and listened. Gradually, the space between them narrowed until they were side by side, their arms almost touching.
‘I’m sorry that happened to you, that he came between you and your mother, that he made you doubt yourself.’
‘I don’t want to blame anyone else. Everyone hits road bumps in life, maybe I didn’t navigate mine too well.’
At the top of the low-walled field, they came to a row of saplings freshly planted in newly dug red earth. Josh pointed them out. ‘These are all new trees. They must have had a fresh wave of volunteers.’
‘I planted them,’ she said.
‘What, all of them?’ He raised his eyebrows.
‘Yes. That’s why I’m sunburnt and sweaty. Turns out I’m still terrible at digging.’ She bent down beside one of the saplings and showed him the label she had tied around one of the branches. ‘I wanted to show you that I am on our team.’ On the label she had written: ‘Josh and Audrey’. ‘These aren’t your trees, or my trees, they’re our trees.’
Josh smiled, and the relief of seeing him smile again made her heart sing.
‘Audrey, this must have taken you all morning.’
‘It took me two days,’ she said, slightly indignantly.
‘Two days?’ His eyes grew wide in disbelief.
‘Yes, I was here all yesterday and the day before, too. This was my big romantic gesture.’ She frowned. ‘What? I’m a slow digger!’
They fell into step again, walking along the row of trees Audrey had planted. His hand lightly brushed hers, and she tingled with nerves. ‘I know I’ve been selfish, not just about the wedding. I think I’ve taken you for granted, all the things you bring to my life, your generosity, your kindness, how straightforward you are. But I hope there are things I bring to your life, too. I think I push you to try new things, even if it’s only a berry-flavoured latte or asking for what you want at work. You used to live in a flat with empty white walls and now our home is full of colour.’
‘Yes, you do all those things,’ he said, his voice warm with affection now.
‘So yes, I have my head in the stars and you have your roots firmly anchored in the ground, but I think that’s why we work. And I still might not have found my calling in life, I might not be able to make up my mind about what flowers I want in a church, or what I want to eat for dinner, but I know I want to spend my life with you. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been certain of.’
Josh reached out and took her hand. ‘Don’t think that you having a mid-wedding life crisis would be enough to stop me from loving you.’
‘You still love me?’ she repeated, and he nodded. Audrey jumped up and down in the field, which made Josh smile.
