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Six Months After I Didn’t
It was a small wedding. Just close family and a few best friends. Audrey hadn’t wanted to go back to Millward Hall, the church was too big, the acoustics too intimidating, the place too full of bad memories and converging ley lines (apparently). Reverend Daniels had made a full recovery and wished them both well, wherever they decided to get married.
They ended up choosing a tiny church in Sussex, where Audrey’s father’s family were originally from. It was in fact one of the smallest chapels in the UK and only had room for twenty people. As soon as Audrey stepped inside, she knew this was the place. She and Josh had planned every detail between them this time – just twenty guests, wild flowers, Spanish tapas, and a playlist of songs with a decent speaker. There wasn’t a salmon terrine or a lilac napkin in sight.
When she’d finally unpacked her bag from the first wedding, wrapped up in her crumpled wedding dress, Audrey had found the bride figurine with the face scraped off. Carefully, she repainted an enormous smile. No one could find the groom from the original cake, so Audrey bought a new one. She searched online through hundreds of figurines until she found one that looked like Josh. The wedding cake was a chocolate mocha gateau. Audrey chose it herself. The little bride and groom stood together shin-deep in chocolate ganache. They looked incredibly happy – this little bride wasn’t jumping anywhere.
Vivien accompanied her daughter in the car to the church and held her hand as they walked up the churchyard path. Vivien had separated from Lawrence and was now seeing Brian, again. They were taking things slowly, but Audrey hadn’t seen her mother this buoyant in years. She was laughing more, stressing less. She and Audrey had fallen into a new routine of spending Sunday afternoons together, just the two of them, the way they used to.
‘Your dress is perfect. You look so much like yourself, darling.’
‘Thank you, so do you,’ said Audrey.
‘No allergies today?’
Audrey checked her arms. ‘None.’
This time, she had chosen a long-sleeved, forties-style, ivory evening gown with a slit up the front. She had found it in a vintage store and chosen it for no other reason than that she felt fabulous wearing it. She didn’t need to wear her mother’s old dress to feel close to her.
Before Vivien went to take her seat in the church, she pulled Audrey into a hug. There was no rigidity in her frame, no urge to pull away, they just held each other tight for a moment. As she embraced her mother, Audrey looked down at her gold and emerald engagement ring. It might not have been the exact style she would have picked for herself, but now she wouldn’t change it for anything. Josh had chosen it for her, that made her love it.
Audrey had decided to walk herself down the aisle this time, and she would not walk at a funereal pace, she would stride towards the altar, confident in where she was headed. She and Josh had chosen every word of the service, every reading and poem, including a passage from Josh’s favourite book – The Hidden Life of Trees. ‘Starman’ by David Bowie played them out of the church, in honour of Audrey’s dad. It all felt so personal, the perfect way to commit to a life together of their own making.
For the reception, they’d found an idyllic venue in the woods, just a ten-minute drive from the church. It was perfect for a small winter gathering. There was a cabin with an open fire, a long trestle table, trees hung with fairy lights and a firepit surrounded by a circle of cushions and fake fur rugs. Audrey had set the table herself; it was laden with tapas dishes and decorated with holly, ivy and red candles. She had decorated each place-setting with a hand-drawn map of a constellation, and a brown paper bag with an acorn inside. They wanted their guests to plant the acorns somewhere special to them. There was no seating plan; it would be a moveable feast, so that everyone got a chance to talk.
Halfway through the meal, Hillary came to sit between Audrey and Clara.
‘What did you tell everyone who didn’t get invited to Wedding Take Two, then?’ he asked.
‘That we couldn’t afford to do another one that size. Which is true,’ said Audrey.
‘I don’t have to get you two gifts, do I?’ Hillary asked, and Audrey shook her head. ‘Good, because I haven’t even got you one yet. Oh, I have some exciting news to share. I’ve been cast as the lead role in the musical version of The Road by Cormac McCarthy.’
‘They’re making that into a musical? Wow, that’s huge, well done!’ said Audrey.
‘Thank you. It’s incredible, and the best part is that the role doesn’t rely on my boyish good looks. It’s post-apocalyptic, so they want me to be filthy and hideous and close to death. It’s a serious, weighty part. My agent says it’s going to open so many doors for me.’
‘Well, I’m happy for you. I can’t really envisage that book as a musical, but I’m sure they know what they’re doing.’
‘They’re pitching it as Matilda meets The? ?Walking Dead. It’s going to be bigger than Hamilton,’ said Hillary.
‘While we’re sharing, I have some news, too,’ Clara said. ‘I’m pregnant. Again.’
Audrey turned to her friend and froze, not sure how to react.
‘What? Why are you making that face?’ Clara asked, frowning at Audrey.
‘Wow, no, that’s great – if you’re happy about it. I just thought having three under two might be, well, sub-optimal.’
‘I’m thrilled.’ Clara grinned. ‘I mean yes, it’s exhausting, and probably the hardest job I’ve ever done, but I can’t wait to have another one.’
‘Well, I’m thrilled too then. Congratulations.’
‘Work are going to kill me. I’ve only been back five minutes. Plus, I just got that promotion.’ Clara grimaced.
Jay came over to join them and put his arm around Clara. ‘She told you? We’ll have enough for a band soon.’ He beamed with a wink.
‘It’s wonderful news,’ said Audrey.
