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‘How’s work going? Have you solved the energy crisis yet?’
‘Not yet, but I need to thank you. I did what you suggested. I told my bosses I wanted to move on to the tidal projects, and unbelievably, they let me.’
‘See, didn’t I say, it’s always worth asking. If you’re good, they want to keep you happy.’
A smile played at Josh’s lips. ‘You always make things sound so simple, Amy.’
‘I try. So, how are things with Kelly?’
Josh shifted his gaze to the table. He picked up a jug of water, then busied himself filling everyone’s glasses.
‘Kelly and I broke up.’
Yes! ‘Oh no, how come?’ Audrey asked, feigning concern. Why hadn’t Paul told her?
‘She finished her PhD placement and went back to Montreal. It wasn’t going to work long distance.’
‘Oh, well. I’m sorry.’ Audrey didn’t trust herself to say more. She had tried not to dwell on Josh over the last few months, but now, sitting beside him, it was like seeing a familiar view that you’d forgotten how much you liked.
‘How about you, are you seeing anyone at the moment?’ Josh asked. He blinked, brushed a hand through his hair, straightened the fork in front of him; that adorable shyness was back, the shyness she’d seen at Paul’s birthday last year.
‘You know me...’ she said with an evasive smile.
‘I don’t actually.’ He paused, then tilted his head to one side. ‘Though, whenever we meet, I think how much I’d like to.’
Audrey’s belly swirled with pleasure.
‘Well, what can I tell you?’ She tapped a finger against her chin, ‘I like my coffee strong and my tea weak.’
‘Tell me something your barista wouldn’t know,’ he said, his voice low, his eyes fixed on her in a way that made her want to tell him everything all at once.
‘My favourite type of eclipse is an annular eclipse, where the sun becomes a ring around the moon. I love risotto, there’s something about the texture. I nearly said no to this wedding, and now I’m glad I said yes.’ She dropped her eyes back to Josh and saw she could lose herself in his honey-brown eyes. ‘Tell me something you love,’ she asked.
His face softened. ‘Okay.’ He thought for a moment. ‘I love the smell of the cobbler’s. My dad used to take me to one in London, where he got his shoes re-heeled. I liked watching the machine they used, the smell of the glue.’ The image of a young Josh, being thrilled by re-heeling shoes, melted something inside Audrey. Now she wanted to know everything that had ever made him happy. ‘And I’m glad you said yes to this wedding too.’
Audrey fizzed with pleasure, but just as she was about to say something else, the woman sitting on Josh’s left turned and stole him away.
‘Hi, I’m Susanna, Ben’s cousin on his mum’s side. Are you friends with the bride or the groom?’
Though Audrey knew nothing about Susanna, she hated her instantly. She went on to monopolise Josh for the duration of the beef bourguignon. Audrey turned her attention to the right, to a married man called Gareth. He engaged her in conversation about the rising property prices in Clapham, the benefits of a loft conversion over a basement build, and the importance of taking control of your pension in your twenties. Audrey didn’t have the inclination to steer the discussion to a topic of her choosing, so she nodded along politely.
‘And what do you do?’ Gareth asked, eventually switching from transmit. She poured herself another glass of wine, numbing herself to Gareth’s inane question.
‘Currently, I’m a dog walker and I do a bit of photography.’
‘Best marry someone rich then.’ Gareth guffawed. ‘I can’t imagine you earn enough doing that to keep yourself in nice frocks.’
Audrey imagined smashing her wine glass into Gareth’s round, arrogant face, but instead she said calmly, ‘I enjoy it. I get lots of fresh air, I love dogs – except this one Pekingese called Bruno, who’s a complete arsehole – and I can make the hours work around my photography gigs.’
‘You must come from money then,’ Gareth said with a knowing nostril flare.
‘I never ask my family for help financially. I earn enough to support myself.’
‘That’s not the point. If you’re from money, you can doss about doing pottery or acting or dog walking or whatever, because you know you’re not going to starve in a ditch when you’re old. You know one day you’ll inherit a house in Putney or Chelsea.’
‘Fulham,’ she said, and Gareth snorted appreciatively.
Audrey picked up her glass of wine and excused herself from the table. She wasn’t going to be able to remain civil if she stayed. She went to sit on the loo with her glass of wine. Gareth was right. He’d put into words something that she’d always known at the back of her mind. She’d been allowed to flit from course to course, from job to job, because she’d always had the safety net of her parents’ money to fall back on. Her friends were saving for houses or paying mortgages, and she’d never even considered that expense. The fact that she’d had every advantage in life somehow made her current state of mediocrity feel worse.
