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Sixty Minutes Before I Do
The photographer, Sian, was late. She and her assistant were supposed to arrive two hours ago to take photos of the bridal party getting ready, but they’d been caught in traffic on the A303.
‘Half your guests will be stuck in it if they’re driving down from London,’ Sian said. ‘It’s always terrible around Stonehenge. Probably the worst thing that can happen on your wedding day – no guests.’
Audrey didn’t have space in her brain for any more crises. All she wanted was a moment alone to read the letter from her father. Then she wanted to walk up the aisle, in a dress that covered her arse, with bridesmaids who weren’t crying, marry Josh, and silence the call of the void that was telling her to jump off the cake.
‘Can you take the dress off, so I can take a photo of it hanging up on the closet?’ Sian asked, adjusting the curtains to allow more natural light in.
‘No,’ Clara said, a little too forcefully. ‘We practically had to sew her into it. She can’t take it off. Besides, she’s done her make-up now, it would come off on the silk.’
Everyone looked at Audrey, to see what she wanted to do.
‘Let’s just take some photos like this, with Miranda and Clara.’
As they posed for photos, Hillary poked his head around the door.
‘Let’s get one with Hillary too,’ said Clara, beckoning him over. ‘He’s basically a bonus bridesmaid.’
‘Sorry to interrupt, but Granny Parker wants a quick word with you, Auds,’ Hillary said with a grimace, knowing how little Audrey would want to go and have a ‘quick word’ with Granny Parker. ‘She’s in the morning room. Do you want me to tell her you’re too busy?’
Audrey exhaled. If she went to see Granny Parker, she might be able to find a quiet place to read her father’s letter on the way. There was an hour before the service, she still had time. She took a step towards the door.
‘You can’t go out there in your dress!’ cried Clara. ‘People will see you.’
‘Help me take it off then,’ Audrey said.
‘Okay, wait,’ said Clara, holding up a palm. Then she quickly pulled a pillowcase off one of the pillows on the bed. ‘Put this on your head, just to protect the silk from any make-up,’ she said, plonking the pillowcase over Audrey. ‘Then we just need to shimmy it off, being careful of the weak seam.’
Audrey stood, with a pillowcase on her head, while Audrey and Miranda carefully lifted the silk gown over her head. Clara shouted, ‘Shimmy! Shimmy!’ the whole time, as though Audrey knew what ‘shimmy’ meant or how she was supposed to do it. She heard several clicks of a camera.
‘These are not really the kind of getting-ready photos I want, Sian,’ she said, her voice muffled by the pillowcase. ‘Me in my pants with a pillowcase on my head.’
‘These are brilliant,’ said Sian. ‘You’ll look back and laugh about this moment one day.’
‘Will I?’ Audrey said through gritted teeth. When the dress was finally off, Miranda pulled the pillowcase from Audrey’s head while Clara returned the dress to its hanger. Audrey threw on the clothes she had been wearing earlier, then picked up her white clutch and headed for the door.
Walking along the corridor, she found an empty flight of stairs and sat down to open the letter from her father. She felt her heart in her throat as she pulled the piece of paper from the envelope. New words. She had read almost every word he had written, that he would ever write, and here in front of her were new ones. Her eyes nearly stumbled with eagerness.
Darling,
I cannot stop thinking about you, about last weekend. Please don’t think I am ignoring you, but I dare not call or email you after last time. I cannot do anything until after the wedding, I can’t risk ruining the day for Audrey with dramas of my own. Meet me at the club on Monday at twelve and we can work out what to do. I miss you...
All my love,
V
What?
This was not a letter from her father, this was...
Audrey reread the piece of paper in her hand. Her mother’s writing. Had Vivien handed her the wrong envelope from her bag? Rage boiled inside her. It was never-ending, her mother’s addiction to having something shiny and new. Who was this letter even for? Which unsuspecting man had become Vivien’s latest obsession? Audrey tore up the letter and stuffed the pieces back into her clutch. She couldn’t get involved in one of her mother’s toxic affairs right now.
She stood up, picked up her clutch and thundered down the stairs to find Granny Parker. Whatever the woman wanted to say, it had better not be about more harbingers of doom.
