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“I hope I act so.” Truthfully, some of her thoughts were not kind just now. Lady Trestan was the most difficult person she’d ever encountered. If she’d had any notion of the state of the Pendrennon family, would she have married into it? Looking up into Kenver’s strained, handsome face, Sarah couldn’t say no. But she could wish she saw a way toward change.
“This is not the sort of life I meant to give you,” Kenver said, as if he sensed some of this in her expression. “Tamara was right. You deserve more.”
He’d said this before. “What do you mean by that?”
“You shouldn’t be pulling weeds in the garden or sewing draperies.”
“I don’t mind…”
“That’s not the point! My wife should have the respect of the neighborhood and pin money to buy whatever she wants, like those books you spoke of.”
This was a telling blow. Sarah had let slip her longing for some new volumes of history, but the price had been out of their reach.
“It’s a matter of honor,” Kenver finished.
When he said that, there was no arguing with him. Not until the subject had cooled.
“We can’t stay at Tresigan forever. This is not a permanent solution.”
Sarah supposed this was true. A month or so might feel like a holiday. But if it came to years away from Poldene, matters grew complicated. She knew Kenver missed his home. And she knew how that felt. And people would wonder if what might be called a honeymoon became a permanent estrangement. She had to consider Kenver’s position as the future earl.
“I should go,” he said.
He rode off as soon as his horse was saddled and did not return until the sun was setting.
“Papa is very ill,” he told Sarah then. As if he had suspected her doubts, he added, “The doctor says he is in grave danger. My mother is worried. I think.”
“You think?”
“It is difficult to tell what she is feeling sometimes.” He made a wry face. “And then at other times all too easy.”
“We must go back to Poldene to help,” said Sarah.
“I’m not taking you back there.”
The idea of living under Lady Trestan’s eye again was not appealing. But it seemed to Sarah that they should act like the family they wished to be, not the one they had.
“I will go to see him each day.”
“You will be always in the saddle. And hardly ever there.” Sarah did not go so far as to suggest that Kenver could be a support to his mother, given all that had passed between them.
“I could stay at Poldene while you remain here,” Kenver said slowly.
“I don’t want that,” they both responded, nearly in unison.
Kenver smiled. “What about Gwen and Elys? We promised them positions and Jowan training.”
“They can stay here and watch over the house. Until matters are…clearer.”
“The Terefords thought we would be doing that.”
“You need to be at Poldene,” Sarah replied.
“I suppose I can find another tenant if necessary.” Kenver made a wry face. “One who can pay the duke a better rent.” He gazed down at her. “But you…”
“Ineed to be with you.”
He folded her in his arms, and they stood that way for a long time, leaning on each other.
