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Teresa discovered that there could be an astonishment so great that it drove every thought, every feeling, from her mind.Estupefacta, she thought. Like a person in a fairy tale frozen by a magician’s spell. She blinked, parted her lips to respond, produced nothing.
The earl’s brows drew together. “Señora Alvarez?”
She found her breath, drew it in, let it out.
“Teresa?”
She had to speak. Of course she could. “You would ask me this?” she managed. In another sort of world, she might have been waiting and longing for his offer, she realized.
“I have done so.” He looked uneasy.
“But I have told you about my life.” A surge of elation shot through her, to join the furor of emotion upsetting her inner balance. That he would ask! He cared enough, respected her enough. But that didn’t change the facts.
The earl nodded. “You have.”
“So you know that this is impossible. It cannot be.”
“Why not?”
“Have I not caused enough scandal for you?”
“Apparently not,” he said with a smile.
“How can you joke? I am ruined. I will never be accepted in your circles.”
He shrugged.
Teresa was bewildered by his nonchalance. He was not stupid. “Alessandro Peron is not the only one who will remember me,” she went on. “If I drew such attention…” A wedding to an English earl would bring all eyes to bear on her. There would be a flood of inquiries, all the scrutiny she’d taken pains to avoid. The Spanish embassy, thehaut ton, the distant remains of her family perhaps! They had been happy for her to disappear. “Others will spread their stories. Society will think you mad.”
Astonishingly, Lord Macklin laughed. “You know, I find I don’t care in the least. Until quite recently I lived a very conventional life, you know. And much of it was pleasant. Even wonderful.” He shook his head. “But lately, I’ve changed. I went wandering around the country. I visited near-strangers without invitation, stuck my nose into their private affairs, ignored the proprieties more than once. And I have been happier than ever before. Society can go hang for all I care.”
Did he really compare these trivial transgressions to the step he was proposing? “Marriage to an…outcast is completely different.”
“You are no such thing!”
Perhaps he really did not understand. He had always been respected, even revered, by the people surrounding him. And they would not cut him off completely if he did this thing. He was a man. He would still be received. “They will whisper behind your back. Point you out and pity you.” She had felt the cut of those superior looks.
“Let them, if they are so small-minded. I shall enjoy my life as I choose. Do you like the country?”
“What has that to do with…”
“Of course you do. You are very fond of gardens. I remember. Those about my country house are extensive. You may do whatever you like with them.”
Eliza came in with a plate of tea cakes. She wanted to know what was happening, Teresa thought, and it was difficult to hear from the kitchen. They were silent as she slowly set the plate down and went out.
“What about your family?” Teresa asked then, speaking more quietly. “Your children would not stand for this.”
He shrugged. “I think they will be glad to hear that I’ve found a…dear companion. At Christmas, I seemed to get hints that they would prefer not to be my sole reliance. They are much occupied with their own families now, you know.”
“That doesn’t mean they want you to marry someone like me!”
“Well, I am putting my own happiness first in this case. They will adjust.”
“Lord Macklin…”
“Won’t you call me Arthur?”
“No, I will not.” The man did not seem to be paying attention.
