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Lottie ignored the jealous flare in her chest and lifted her chin. “Then we understand each other,” she said with a calmness she most certainly did not feel. “You’ve also answered a few lingering questions I had about the male anatomy, so thank you for that.”
He let out a sputtering cough. “What?”
“You needn’t worry. I’ll be sure to put the knowledge to good use with a willing partner next time.”
Alec’s mouth dropped open, but she did not wait for his response. Lottie rose from the bed with all the regality of a queen and moved to the washstand. Her hands barely even trembled as she performed her ablutions. Alec remained in place but she could feel his gaze burning a hole in her back.
“You go too far, Lottie,” he finally muttered.
Her eyes began to prickle against the hurt swelling inside her, but she squeezed them shut until those tears dried up. She would rather die than cry in front of him now. When she turned around, Alec was bent over his bag, packing with swift, agitated movements.
“I had no idea you were such a hypocrite.” She barely spoke louder than a whisper, but Alec immediately stopped and glared at her.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You expect me to feel shame for my desires. For my experience.” Lottie made sure to sound as authoritative as possible. The last thing she wanted was to reveal exactly howlimitedher experience was.
“That’s not—”
“But you have no right to judgeme. I know what men in your position are like,” she continued.
Alec’s glare remained, but he swallowed. Hard. “Is that so?” He took a step toward her.
Lottie managed a nod and focused on steadying her breathing. She would not show himanyweakness.
“Enlighten me, then.” He took another step, his eyes burning into hers.
She gripped the side of the washstand. “You are willing to do anything, use anyone, if that gets you what you need.”
No desire.
“So don’t you dare try to act like someone noble. Someone with morals.”
Nothing but anger.
At that, he came to a halt. Alec’s jaw worked as he considered her. “And you’re suggesting that activities of a carnal nature are among the manythingsI do?”
She gave him a hard look. “I know they are.”
But Alec moved again, and this time he didn’t stop until they were mere inches apart. Lottie was forced to tilt her chin up to meet his eyes. Then he leaned over and murmured by her ear. “Now where did you get an idea like that?” His warm breath tickled her neck, like it had only minutes ago. “Don’t you know those spy novels are fiction?”
Lottie dug her nails into her palms against the shiver of pleasure that stole over her and remained in place. “Don’tmockme. And it’s not an idea. Uncle Alfred said as much when you left. That you were looking forward to it.”
Alec pulled back. “He told you that I planned to useseductionto get information?” He spoke as if the idea was absurd, but his jaw tightened yet again.
More or less.
Lottie didn’t even blink. “He said you were the best man he had ever recruited. That he expected great things from you. And that you would useany means necessary. The implication was very clear.” Her voice began to break on the last word, but as she moved to push past him, Alec caught her by the shoulders. She gasped as the warmth from his hands shot through her. She hadn’t realized how cold she was.
“And you justbelievedhim?”
Her stomach twinged with guilt at the desperate note in his voice. Of course she had. It never crossed her mind to think otherwise. Until now.
“What alternative was there?” she demanded. “You certainly weren’t there to offer one.”
Alec didn’t answer. Instead, he immediately released her, as if her very skin scalded him, before letting out a frustrated, foul curse. “He shouldn’t have told you that.”
“Why? Is it not true?” As she said the words, something lifted inside her chest. It was a moment before she recognized it as hope.
