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Alec hesitated, but then the wild look faded. “No,” he admitted. His voice had gone soft. “It’s true…I’m sorry.”
Lottie bristled. “You needn’t apologize to me for doing your duty,” she mumbled through her disappointment. What a fool she was.
Alec watched her closely. “Perhaps, but I want to anyway. And for just now,” he added. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I wasn’t trying to shame you. I only meant…” He paused and furrowed his brow, searching for the right words. “I only meant that such things are better when they truly mean something.”
The implication being that with her it meant nothing. She certainly wasn’t the woman he had been dreaming of. Lottie lifted her chin. “Then perhaps you should take your own advice,” she tossed off.
Alec let out a surprised laugh. “You know, I quite agree with you on that,” he said bashfully. Then he turned around and moved toward his bag. “Shall I send for a maid to help you dress? The train is supposed to leave at nine.”
“Yes. Please do,” Lottie answered despite the wretchedness churning inside her.
Chapter Ten
When they arrived at the station in Bologna, Alec dashed off a quick cable to Mr. Wetherby in London explaining that they were traveling through Venice to avoid meeting anyone in Florence. Wetherby had been adamant in his instructions, but hopefully Sir Alfred would be so overjoyed Alec had found Lottie that he wouldn’t care about their little detour. What Alec really should have done was scrap the plan entirely and send Lottie home on her own, but he simply couldn’t.
Or wouldn’t.
The express train to Venice was, remarkably, on time for once. As they took their seats in first class, Alec sent up a silent prayer to every saint and god in charge of travel to spare his tattered nerves. Lottie slid into the seat across from his own and turned to the window, a vision in a demure pink-and-black plaid traveling gown and matching wide-brimmed hat. It was trimmed with a few blooming pink roses that bordered on obscene. He should have made her change. She wouldneverblend in wearing that, but since their argument at the inn, they hadn’t spoken beyond what was necessary. Everything was perfectly polite. Eminently civilized. And yet, Alec couldn’t stop thinking of her body eagerly pressing into his, of her fingers curling into his hair, and of his hand moving between her thighs. Whether it had been real or part of his fevered dream mattered little; he wanted it all.
Alec had been with his share of confident women over the years, but the sight of Lottie standing in nothing but her chemise boldly declaring her intention to find awilling partnerhad still managed to shock him. Somehow the girl he had once known so well had grown into one of the most surprising women he had ever met.
It was incredibly arousing.
Alec shifted in place, though it offered little relief. What he truly needed was a moment alone. But even more irksome than his unsated desire was Lottie’s revelation about Sir Alfred. It extended far beyond the bounds of common decency regarding what an uncle should discuss with his niece, but it was the timing that set Alec particularly on edge.
For five bloody years Lottie had been under the impression that not only did Alec enthusiastically use sex as a weapon but that he was damnedgoodat it. He gritted his teeth once again against the outrage that had threatened to consume him all morning. Plenty of men considered bedding unsuspecting targets a perk of the job, but Alec did have some morals.
There were times, especially when he was younger, where he slept with women during missions, but they were either agents like him or seasoned informants used to the game. The distraction had usually been more trouble than it was worth.
And Alec hadn’t done that in a very long time.
However, it seemed rather self-serving to point out this discrepancy to Lottie merely to make himself feel better. Besides, he still used his charm to manipulate people when necessary. And he had not once felt anything like remorse.
She was right. Hewasa hypocrite.
But that still didn’t explain Sir Alfred’s actions. Alec had done exactly what the man demanded—he left immediately and never contacted Lottie again. Why bother maligning him further?
As the train pulled away from the station, Alec cleared his throat. Neither his body nor his mind could sit across from her for the next four hours. “Would you like anything from the dining car?”
Lottie shook her head and continued to stare out the window. “I’m fine, thank you.”
Alec rose. “Remember. If anyone asks, we’re married.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Gresham,” she responded automatically. “I know.”
Alec hesitated. He should say something comforting. Something to reassure her. So she would know shecouldtrust him, at least in this.
Not likely now, chap.
At his silence, Lottie finally tore her gaze away from the window and raised her eyebrow. “Are you doubting my ability to remember a simplename?”
The corner of his mouth lifted at her sardonic tone. “Not at all. I was just thinking how nice it is to work with such a competent partner for once,” he added, savoring the look of pleasant surprise that crossed her face. It was doubtful he would ever see it again.
Alec made his way to the dining car and slumped into a booth, but his mind was still fixed on the past, and how he had come to be the man she thought so little of.
He had always assumed his deeper feelings for Lottie began on the night of her coming out ball, but the first spark had been a year earlier when he attended a small dinner party at Sir Alfred’s London town house. His guardian had been talking of his future for months, but Alec was reluctant to make any firm commitments. He assumed the invitation was Sir Alfred’s version of a peace offering, but during predinner drinks, Alec was introduced to several men—two from the Home Office and one from Naval Intelligence. Then he understood the true purpose of the evening.
Alec excused himself shortly before dinner was announced—under Sir Alfred’s disapproving glare, but he needed to be alone. Blessed relief had flooded through him as soon as he stepped into the silent library. Alec let out a heavy sigh and walked toward the hearth. A fire had been lit and he was immediately drawn to the comforting glow.
