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Alec’s frown turned wary as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “What are you doing?” Lottie traced the small scar with the pad of her thumb. The skin was a few shades darker and rougher.
She heard the fear underlying his words, but Alec made no move to stop her as she leaned in and pressed her lips to the wound on his shoulder. He let out a small sigh and her mouth curved against his warm skin as the tension slowly eased from his muscles. Then she pressed her cheek against his shoulder. “How did you get it?”
“I was following someone. They noticed.”
Lottie pulled back. After last night she could now picture how such a scene might unfold. “Were you frightened?”
Alec looked past her. “I should say I wasn’t. But when I heard the first shot scream past my ear, a fear different from any kind I have ever experienced came over me. I haven’t felt it again.” He then met her eyes with what seemed like great reluctance. “Until last night.”
Lottie smoothed her palm over the scar. “It must be hard to always have this as a reminder.”
“He paid the greater price in the end.”
His stony expression first broke her heart before filling it with anger. She might be able to forgive her uncle for his overprotective behavior toward her, but it seemed impossible to imagine that she could ever forgive him for the part he had played in Alec’s life these last few years. Why had Alec ever agreed to Sir Alfred’s demand in the first place? The idea that any of it might have had to do with her was too maddening to bear. She lifted on her toes and moved to kiss him, as if she could will his sadness away with the force of her regard. His expression remained unchanged as she drew closer, but just when her mouth was a breath away, he pressed a finger to her lips. “Wait.” His hands then came around her waist, and he lifted her on top of the dressing table.
As he pushed up the hem of her nightgown and wrapper, she grew breathless. The urgency of his motions sent a shuddering pulse through her. She eagerly spread her legs and moved to pull him closer. But Alec shook his head.
“I’ve a debt to settle with you.” As he spoke, he lightly stroked up her inner thigh with the back of his fingers. “And, if nothing else, I always pay.”
Lottie frowned in confusion, but before she could voice her question he sank down, dragging his warm palms along her bare thighs. She sucked in a trembling breath as she realized his intent. Alec’s mouth curved in a small smile before he gripped her bottom and hauled her to the edge of the dressing table.
“Alec,” she gasped as he set his lips to that most private of places. She tried to pull back from the intense sensation, but he held her fast. The dressing table had a massive three-paned mirror, and Lottie sank back against the center pane, which only opened her to him more. Alec let out a low moan of approval. Her eyelids fluttered open and she glanced to the left. The smaller pane offered a perfect view of Alec pleasuring her. As active as her imagination was, even Lottie could not have conjured the scene before her—Alec on his knees, his dark head buried between her legs, while one wide palm gripped the flesh of her pale thigh, as if he was as hungry to perform the act as she was to receive it. The very idea seemed to turn her insides to liquid, and she pressed forward. Alec let out another moan of approval, and Lottie gasped at the feel of his lips rumbling against her oversensitive flesh. She sat up and pulled her hands through his thick waves. He slipped a finger inside her, much as he had done the previous night, but when combined with his demanding mouth it made a release far more intense begin to kindle.
“Oh God,” she sobbed. It was too much too fast. She twisted her fingers in his hair in a half-hearted attempt to stop him, but Alec’s only response was to add a second finger. He then gently pressed up while increasing the pressure from his lips and teeth, creating an aching need so intense, so relentless, that her eyes began to water. Alec held her fast as he dealt out the twin pleasures of his fingers and lips until her release broke. Wave upon wave rioted through her until she thought she would perish. Until her very bones seemed to dissolve into nothingness. No wonder the French called it “the little death.”
Before she had even begun to recover, he rose to his feet and began to gently bite and kiss her neck, working his way up. “There,” he spoke roughly by her ear. “Now we’re even.”
Even.It seemed impossible to imagine ever matching the pleasure he had just given her.
She slumped against him and pressed her damp cheek to his chest, still catching her breath. “Tell me it isn’t always like this.”
Chapter Eighteen
Alec squeezed his eyes shut, as if that could somehow stop her words from shredding him. How could they have both been so stupid, letting things come to this? He longed, with every cell in his miserable, broken body, to deny it. But nothing had ever compared to being with her.
Nothing.
When he had first awoken and found himself alone, his foggy mind was convinced it had been a dream. All of it. The crushing disappointment had driven him from the bed. And to her. Last night she had taken his breath away, dressed in her fine gown and perfectly coiled hair, but she was even more beautiful here in the early-morning light, sleep mussed and bleary-eyed, dressed in a simple nightgown and wrapper. He couldn’t abide the pathetic tenderness she inspired in him. This dangerous desire not merely to have her, but to make her happy.
Lottie curled her fingers against his scalp, mindless of his internal castigation. “Please,” she whispered, tightening her thighs around his waist. “Please, Alec.”
He knew he should push her away. End it all. Tell her to pack her things and leave, but he had absolutely no defense against her begging for it. Begging forhim. His cock started throbbing as soon as she set her lips to his wounded flesh. Alec wound her hair tightly around his fist and exposed that elegant white neck scattered with freckles. His breath caught at the faded love bite below her ear. Last night he had left that mark upon her. Only his lips had ever touched that flesh.
“What, Lottie?” He whispered darkly before dragging his teeth along her neck. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes,” she panted, already mindlessly canting her hips toward him.
An unfamiliar kind of possessiveness suffused through him, and his free hand practically tore the buttons off his trousers. But as he began to enter her, he forced himself to move slowly—as slowly as he could stand. Until he was torturing the both of them.
Her trembling palms scrabbled over his back seeking purchase, pulling him even closer. But it wasn’t enough. He needed to possess her as she possessed him. If only for a moment.
Alec slipped his hand under the back of her knee and pressed it toward her chest, opening her even more. To him. Only him.
I wanted it to be you.
So badly.
Her words from the previous night echoed through his addled mind. She wanted this. Wantedhim. The thought would never lose its novelty. Even long after they had parted. Years from now, when this piercing need had once again dulled to an endurable ache, he would remember these few hours as the brief time when he had possessed everything he ever wanted.
