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Since I didn't have my phone, there was no way for me to check, so I decided to surprise him. Popping into the salon, there weren't many people in yet since it was early, more specifically, no Crystal. Peeking around the booths, I didn't find him as I waved to the other stylists I knew. Walking out the back, I started to feel a sense of deja vu as I made my way down to the tattoo shop.
Maybe Simon was there, but I didn't know why he would be when I wasn’t since I didn’t think he and Slade were friends. Though, now that I thought about it, Gladys had mentioned something that bothered me that day, but that I had forgotten in my excitement. It didn’t make sense though.
Either way, if Simon was here or not, I needed to grab my stuff before I ran into Tatzilla. I wanted to be able to grab my phone and solve the mystery of Simon’s whereabouts. The door was unlocked, surprising me since I hadn’t opened for the day yet. Pulling it open, it was the sound of shouting that first caught my attention. The shop being lit up inside the second. Fiddlesticks!
Following the noise, I stopped in my tracks when I heard my name among the shouting. I was about to charge in there and give Slade a piece of my mind when I started to understand their conversation.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Simon?"
"Me? Have you asked yourself that question lately? There's not a week that goes by where you don't say something rude to hurt her feelings!"
"You don't understand. It's the only way."
"I don't understand! I lied to her for nine years. I'm still lying to her, in fact. So, don't tell me what I don't understand."
"Yeah, well, that was your choice. She made her decision about me and then pretends each day to act like she doesn't know."
"You're wrong about her. Lennox would never do or say the things you told me. If you took your head out of your ass, you'd see that."
"Iknowwhat Iknow. Drop it.Nothingwill change how I feel now."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, buddy. You're one mean word away from either crushing her heart for good or professing your love to her, if you didn't already yesterday. What was that all about? I can't believe she quit! What exactly did you say to her?"
My head was spinning with everything they were saying. I didn't understand it. They acted so familiar with one another, and yet, Simon had never told me he knew Slade on this kind of level. And what was he talking about? Sladelikingme? Evenlovingme? The pounding in my head began to increase with each comment that didn't make sense.
"I wouldn't worry about it. You got what you always wanted."
"Noteverything." Simon's voice was quiet on that part, and I heard the sadness there.
"Yeah, well, last I checked, that was your choice too."
I heard someone move, and I took the chance to peek into the office. Simon had been standing in front of Slade's desk, and I watched as Tatzilla walked around, getting close to Simon, breathing him in.
"How's that one working out for you?" Slade rubbed his hand down Simon's back, and I kept waiting for him to say something, to brush him off, but he didn't. In fact, he melted into Slade’s touch.
"Fucking excruciating." I heard the longing then, and ithurt.
"So, what are we doing? Why are we making ourselves miserable?"
"I don't know anymore. It all made sense a few years ago and seemed like the best option, but I don't know now."
"Do you ever think about it?"
"Us?"
"Yeah."
"All the time."
"I feel like everything I wanted is slipping away from me, the sacrifices I made meaningless. I don't want to lose you too, Simon." As Slade talked, he continued to explore Simon's body, his front pressed into his back now. It wasintimate, and I was both hurt and turned on by their behavior.
"Maybe it's for the best," Si whispered, his breath catching as Slade rubbed his nose across his neck, eerily similar to what he did to me yesterday.
"How can you say that?"
It was clear there was a history here I didn't understand, sending pain rippling through me. The intense emotion triggered my memories, pulling them to the surface as everything began clicking and falling into place. In a rush, the memories hit me as the events of the fateful morning flooded me.
Spilling the milk, Simon leaving, Slade telling me I was nothing to him, getting coffee only to overhear Simon say he couldn't stand to be around me, crying and falling to the floor, Slade telling me I was weak. Then passing out and hitting my head.
