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Six months later, I found myself walking into a tattoo shop for an interview. It was my latest attempt to find something I’d enjoy. Sticking out my hand, I greeted the owner before delivering the pitch I practiced over and over with Simon.
“Hey, I’m Lennox, and you should definitely hire me.”
“And why should I do that? I doubt you’ve got the skills to work here.”
“Well, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m quite good at stabbing things, and everyone needs a little Lennox in their life.”
“I don’t know about that, but I’m willing to see if you can convince me with your pitch.”
Sitting down, I began my spiel and all the valuable assets I could offer. He regarded me as I spoke, grilling me with questions, but I answered them all, determined to get this job, even if he was a bit of a Tatzilla. This would be my new beginning.
Blaze,
It’s been eight years and I find myself wondering what it all means. You’re my best friend in so many ways, and yet, I’ve never seen your face, or heard your voice. Are we setting ourselves up for a lifetime of unhappiness? Maybe we’ve grown out of pen pals. Maybe I’m just sad because I had another amazing date with Duncan and yet, I can’t find it in me to be happy. Why is that? Am I sabotaging?
I know he wants to move forward with our relationship, I found a ring last weekend. I’m still in school though, only 22, but most girls are getting married here at that age. Maybe it’s not so crazy?
In some ways, I feel so mature and old, living a life of deep moments and experiences. In other ways, I still feel so naive, and young. I think I need to take some time to figure it out without you as my crutch.
Because you are Blaze. You’re the piece of me I’ll never have whole, a smudged line on my heart that will never heal. I don’t want to do this, but I think I must. I have to let you go, Blaze. It’s time.
Goodbye,
Nox
Nox,
Let’s meet. I’ll be in Nashville. We can settle this once and for all. I can’t let you go. Not yet. You’re my best friend too, and that means something to me.
Blaze
I watchedfrom the shadows as Slade and Simon swooped in, stealing away my southern princess. For two whole months, I'd had her all to myself, and it’d been the best period of my life. From the moment I met her, I knew she was the one for me.
It took some time, but I'd eventually been able to track her down after that first day. I'd saved her brother, our souls bonding in that moment, forever connecting us to one another. It was pure luck I'd even been in the parking lot to begin with. My father had stopped off in the town, and I'd gone wandering as I do.
The mall was only a few minutes’ walk from our hotel, so I’d made my way there, hoping to find something to pass the time. If anything, I could blow some quarters in the arcade, or maybe I'd be lucky enough to score. Women or drugs would be welcomed.
When I'd come upon her, I didn't think, jumping into action. It was a rush I'd never felt before. Locking eyes with the girl, I felt something in my chest stir, and I latched onto it, afraid of letting go of the first thing that had made me feel human since my mother died. I liked how it made me feel to be needed like that.
Dad was lost in his grief, and my brother was a troublemaker, one arrest away from spending the rest of his teenage years in juvie. The demands I felt placed on me overwhelmed me, but I found relief and hope when I looked into her eyes. For the first time in weeks, I could breathe.
When the sirens started, I panicked, not wanting my father to catch me out, so I left, not thinking about getting her number.
It had been a big enough story, though, that I was able to figure out who she was in that small town.Lennox James.
My crush began, diving into her history and learning everything I could about her, and soon an obsession was born. She was perfect, and I wanted her. I hated that her peers turned on her after the event, but it made my job easier as well. I tried to weed out everyone until I was the last one standing. Then she'd have no choice but to choose me.
Each year, I found myself able to learn more info about her. We traveled enough through her town that I was able to stop and watch her a couple of times a year. Sometimes, I'd brave it, and I would approach her, but she never seemed to recognize me, brushing me off like some tourist.
Spying was easier that way, and I gathered intel like a fiend. I learned about her failed relationship with Simon, and it helped me cross one name off my list. I'd still need to divide them, but it was easier if there wasn't a love connection. When she talked about Blaze, I knew I’d found my actual competition.
It took me a while to realize he wasn't a peer at school, and I wanted to laugh when I discovered he was a pen pal. How much competition could he be? They didn't even know one another and had never met. But as the years passed and their connection grew, I knew there would come a time where she would wonder, and I needed to be prepared.
It was easy enough once they switched to email, and I cloned her phone one time when I was following her. Once I had access to all of her accounts, I didn't need to worry. Hours and hours went into reading their messages and learning everything I needed to about them. It was sickening how this Blaze lusted after my girl. He didn't deserve her, and I would make sure he knew it.
The first time I hacked into her account, I tested it out and found I could mimic emails. So, I sent strange ones, and then replied back about being hacked or leaving my phone somewhere. I set up a baseline, your basic standard procedure so it wouldn't seem odd later down the line. Then I waited.
Every day, like a ritual, I would read their messages and observe. Oh, how I learned so much through their love letters. Even if they denied it, I could clearly feel their bond. At first, I was envious, but then I used it to become the perfect version of the three men I found my Lennox falling for, even if she wasn't aware of it.
