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It was something I had to see for myself. I needed to look into his eyes and know.
Thane had been my confidant, my friend, and support for months. He was someone I’d considered dating. The Thane I knew was kind, caring, and insanely attentive. We had fun together. We laughed a lot, and he’d been there when they hadn’t. I couldn’t just blindly trust Slade that Thane had been deceiving me this whole time. It just didn’t make sense.
If the situation had taught me anything, though, it was that I couldn’t ignore the flags or not talk about things just because they were hard. I needed to be stronger, I wanted to be. So, that meant facing things.
Thane was a good place to start.
He’d texted me this morning and asked how things ended with his brother. I didn’t call him out on what Slade had told me but instead mentioned things were confusing. Thane acted normal, continuing to be supportive and listened as I blabbered on about mixed signals. When he’d asked me to meet him before his shift today, it felt like the perfect opportunity to start putting the pieces together.
Besides, despite what the duo believed, I wasn’t convinced yet. It didn’t make sense for Thane to be behind it all. What was even the purpose if I didn’t meet him until three years later? Plus, I figured it would be harder for Thane to lie to my face.
“Hey, Cherry.”
Thane stood, hugging me, nothing appearing out of the ordinary in his demeanor. His smell and hug were familiar, his stance friendly as usual. I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew Slade was here and he was meant to be somewhere else, why wasn’t he scrambling? I figured he would be shifty, but he wasn’t acting suspiciously at all. I didn’t know what that confirmed, if anything, just interesting.
“Hey,” I returned, pulling back. Sitting down in the booth, I pushed my hair behind my ears and began to nervously fiddle with my rings.
“Everything okay?” His voice was soft and concerned, so I looked up and shook my head, not knowing how to start this.
“I, um, well.” I cleared my throat, and tried again. “It was a bit of a cluster last night. Slade and Simon confronted me, wanting to know some answers.”
“Okay, what did they ask? I’m sure my brother had plenty to say aboutme.” He rolled his eyes, not worried. “He’s never forgiven me for doing better in school and not struggling to make friends each time we moved. I didn’t purposefully try to make it harder for him, but he never let me forget it.”
I nodded, some of what he said tracking from what I recalled from my letters with Blaze. “Is that… theonlyreason you two don’t get along?”
He watched me, and for the first time, I saw some of his perfect guy exterior crack as he clenched his jaw before sighing and dropping his head. When Thane looked back up, his eyes were watery, looking resigned. I watched as his whole body language changed right in front of me. His shoulders dropped, his face relaxed, and he scrutinized me for a moment. When he saw whatever he needed, he gave me a sorrowful, but sincere look.
“I didn’t want to ever have to tell you this, but it seems it’s come down to it. I honestly didn’t know the night I approached you at the bar. So, please believe me when I say that.”
He paused, apparently wanting me to respond, so I nodded, unsure what he was about to tell me. I was over the dramatics though and secret revealing, but this seemed huge and made my palms begin to sweat.
“I know about the pen pal program and that you’re Nox.”
“Okay…”
“I know, Cherry because…I’m Blaze.”
I stared, blinking at him, not sure I heard him correctly. “You’reBlaze? I thoughtSladewas Blaze?”
“I was afraid of this.” Thane sighed, hanging his head for a second before looking me straight in the eye. “No, Cherry. I’mBlaze, or I was. I’m the one who signed up. I’m the one who sent you the letters. Then Slade found out, and he was jealous as usual, so he started writing to you too, stealingmy lettersout of the mail, and taking yours. Eventually, I stopped writing altogether because I thought you had.”
“Wait, what?” I cocked my head, confusion plaguing me as I attempted to remember the handwritten letters from years ago. Now that he mentioned it, there was a time where it felt like I got two versions of him. Some days he would be sweet and thoughtful, opening up to me. Other days, he appeared more controlled, confident, and challenged me to step outside my comfort zone. Rubbing my temples, my lack of sleep, and slight hangover were not helping me recall things accurately. Had that been during the years he spoke of?
“You remember, don’t you? How it was in the beginning, when it was just us writing?”
“I, uh, I don’t know.”
“Cherry, come on. I’ve never lied to you. I’ve been open from the start. I kept the pen pal thing hidden only because it didn’t seem important anymore, and I didn’t want you to think about—“
Holding my hand up, I stopped him before he continued. “So you’re saying you were Blaze in the beginning, but not at the end when I was stood up?”
“No. Never,” he pleaded, reaching across the table to take my hand. I dropped it down to my lap, not wanting him to touch me right then.
“I don’t know what to believe. Slade mentioned some other things too that don’t add up.”
“Like what? How I’m supposed to be in West Africa?” He rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed at having to defend himself.
Nodding, I bit my lip as I watched him. “Yeah, actually.”
