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“I only understood about a third of what she said,” Simon mumbled, “but it sounds like you returned to the states, went to the apartment, you guys talked, and realized who each other were? Now, you’re here?”
“Well, yeah,” I interjected, rolling my eyes. “But there’s also the whole matter of the fact he read and wrote to me for a couple of years as Blaze.”
“What?” Simon asked, looking around at everyone. When it seemed to click, he nodded.
“That was the big fight you guys had?” Simon asked Slade. Part of me felt envious of the bond I could sense between them, but I couldn’t do anything about it but increase my own. I watched Slade as he nodded, tense over the topic before he finally spoke.
“Yeah, when I discovered his betrayal, it took a while for me to trust him again. That’s why I was so convinced whoever Peach was meeting with wasn’t really Thane because we don’t lie to each other anymore.”
Zane nodded, a look of happiness on his face, and I realized he hadn’t ever heard Slade say this in the past few years, still feeling uncertain of their bond. “No, we don’t, Brother.”
“Aww, look at you two. It’s too cute. I wish I could reach both of your cheeks right at the same time, so I could squeeze them together.”
Of course, this was when the waitress returned with our drinks. When she spotted Zane, her face lit up. A possessive streak rose up in me out of nowhere, and I had an urge to climb over the table and scratch out her eyes, all kittycat like. Two hands clamped down on my thighs, holding me in place, my intention apparently easy to read.
“Well, hey there, handsome. What can I get you to drink today?” Zane looked at her momentarily, and I watched him closely, memorizing each detail. I was happy to find he barely paid any attention to her while she was giving him bedroom eyes. Not that I had any claim on him, but the thought had jealousy roaring through me.
“I’ll have a water, thanks.”
She nodded, her face dropping a little at the dismissal. The waitress turned to me, and I expected the curve-lipped look of disgust or the double-take to check me over when none of the guys paid her any attention. However, I was pleasantly surprised when she gave me a huge grin, winking with a nod of approval. “Well done, girl! I’m impressed, and a tad bit jealous.” My body relaxed, a blush rising to my cheeks, but I gave her a smug look back.
“Well, what can we get started with today? Our specials are… “ I zoned out as she listed off the food, the tiredness hitting me fully from the highs and lows of the past few days and lack of sleep. When she got to me, I looked at her, blinking, unsure what to tell her. Thankfully, Simon took over, knowing what I liked. She nodded, giving me a soft smile. “I’ll be right back with your appetizers, dolls.”
Once she was gone, all the eyes turned to me. “So, what does this mean for the imposter Thane?” Simon asked.
Shrugging, I turned into his arms again. “I don’t know yet. I’ve only had like four hours of sleep at this point, and I have to work later. So I’m going to leave the master plan to you guys. Think you can handle it?”
“Yeah, Peach. Close your eyes. We can handle it.”
“Okay. Great idea. I’ll just rest for a bit. Wake me when there’s food.”
Laying my head against Simon, I closed my eyes and was immediately out, the noise around me fading away.
Love Letter
Dear Peach,
I hope by now you’re starting to see I’m serious, that I care for you and I’m not trying to pull one over on you. I know my behavior in the past has made you doubt me, and I’m sorry for that. I’ve explained my reasoning for the choices I made. It doesn’t excuse rudeness, and I would’ve been better off just staying out of your life. I mean that in the sense that if I wasn’t in it, I couldn’t hurt you.
But I couldn’t let you go. Even with a broken heart, I wanted to be near your light, even if it hurt. Some days, it hurt so much, I could barely breathe. You were within my reach, and yet the furthest away you’d ever been. I think that’s what led me to Simon.
When I met him the first night, I didn’t make the connection, too consumed by my own grief and heartache to know Fish was standing two feet away from me. I should’ve, the connection and physical reaction almost instant like it had been with you. I was comfortable with my sexuality by that point, but I hadn’t really branched out much, too scared to explore. I didn’t fit into the “gay” stereotype and I couldn’t ever find my place among them.
Once you started working at the shop, and Simon started to drop by every day, the connection finally clicked. I didn’t say anything to him for over a year. And when I did, it was out of drunkenness and heartache.
Simon and I never wrote as often as you and I, but we did share letters and over the years, we both explored our fears and concerns around our evolving sexuality and it was a safe way to discuss things. Neither of us ever told you and for that I’m sorry. It wasn’t meant to be a secret, but once we started down that path, it was easier to keep heading there. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with him too, I just hadn’t realized it at the time.
The night in question, we both ended up at Rookies, sitting at the bar drinking alone. Not that it makes it okay, but you were on a date with some guy, and despite me telling myself I was over you, that I hated you, it stung. Simon was feeling similarly and we both ended up drunk and commiserating our loneliness together.
Part of me wishes this wasn’t true, but I pursued him in part to punish you. I had him keep it a secret to hurt you. I thought if I hurt you, then you’d look at me the way I deserved to be looked at for that night. I thought you’d be able to slice me open and cut me to my core, allowing me to bleed out my sorrow.
But instead, you smiled at me, you fought with me, and you made me fall in love with you even more. I don’t deserve you, but I will.
Out of everything that’s come to light and I know there’s been a lot, don’t hold it against Simon. I know he’s his own person who can make his own decisions, but I convinced him it would be better because he’d already kept the secret from you for so many years. He’s always been so scared of losing you, that it made him freeze in fear. You are the one thing that can break him, and that terrifies him. These past two months, he was half of the man you knew, half of the man he’s been since just being back in your presence for two days.
That’s how amazing you are, Peach. You light up everyone around you. We’re all drawn to you because of the woman you are, and the men you make us want to be.
I enjoyed today, Peach. Having you in my arms for even a second was bliss.
