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Sliding off the bed, I walked over to her, taking her hands. “I’ll tell you whatever you want. I’ve been waiting for you to show me a sign you were ready, and tonight you did. My break is over, though, so I have to head back to work. I get off in an hour if you want to wait around. I understand if you don’t.”
Taking one of the wet wipes, I cleaned myself up quickly and then pulled on the tiny banana hammock I had to wear. Kissing her on the head, I walked out, hoping I wasn’t leaving my chance at happiness behind.
* * *
Waitinguntil my shift was over to find out if she’d stayed was pure torture. I smiled and greeted all the customers, but my heart wasn’t in it. It was still back in that room with Nat. When the night finally ended, I rushed through my cleaning tasks and finished in record time.
“You okay, man?” Nigel asked. I nodded, grabbing my things out of my locker and dressing quickly, ignoring the conversations around me. He went back to what he was doing when I didn’t elaborate.
“We’re all headed to a bar up the street that’s open for another hour. Want to hang?” Cindy asked, leaning close, her sickening perfume invaded my nostrils and I held my breath, trying not to gag.
“I’m good.”
She rolled her eyes, sighing. I didn’t know what she expected. The whole time I’d worked here, I’d never gone out with them. I hadn’t lied when I told Nat I hadn’t been with anyone. When we started sleeping together, everyone else ceased to exist.
Casually, I strolled down the hallway we’d been in earlier, peeking into the room to see if she was still there. I hadn’t expected her to wait in the room, but I didn’t want to assume and leave in case she had.
When I found it empty, I kept walking, moving toward the exit. The night air was cool against my flushed skin, and I welcomed the relief. Nodding to the guard, I scanned the back parking lot but couldn’t make out her car.
Taking a few steps, lights flicked on, blinding me. Raising my hand to block the beams, I was unable to see who the driver was. Hesitantly, I took a few steps to the side to get out of the blinding lights. Dots filled my vision as I focused on the make and model. When I realized it was her car, I relaxed, walking the rest of the way.
She didn’t look at me as I approached, but when I got to the passenger door, I was glad to find it unlocked. Sliding in, I sat my bag on the ground, turning toward her.
“You waited.”
Nat nodded, turning the engine over and buckling up. “We need to talk.”
“Okay. We can go back to my place.” Putting on my own seatbelt, I sat back as we drove in silence toward my apartment. I didn’t dare break the spell we seemed to be under, wanting to wait until she broke it first.
Nat parked, turning off the engine, but didn’t move to get out of the car. Unbuckling, I turned in my seat, looking at her.
“Nat?”
Her hands gripped the steering wheel for a brief second until she turned, her eyes shiny with tears. “I want to rage at you. I want to hate you. I want to tell you to go fuck yourself.”
“But?” I asked, moving closer to unclench her hand. She didn’t pull away, giving me hope.
“But I can’t seem to make myself. I sat in my car with all intentions of going home. I couldn’t, though. Until I saw you, my hands wouldn’t turn on the engine. I don’t know what I’m doing, Byron, but I can’t seem to let you go.”
“Good,” I growled, cupping her cheek. “Don’t.” I pulled her head toward mine, leaning my forehead to hers. “I’ll tell you whatever you want. Just,” I paused, swallowing, “don’t leave.”
“I’m so fucked up,” she muttered.
“No, you’re just the right kind of fucked up, and if you come with me upstairs, then you’ll be fucked up against the door.”
Nat blinked before a laugh bubbled out of her. “How did I never notice how bloodthirsty you were before?”
“I’m not!” I said, a little offended.
“I think I need to know how you got into being a contract killer and if you do it anymore.”
“Okay, but bourbon goes best with this conversation. Come inside?” I smirked, not missing the innuendo.
“Seriously, the worst.” She giggled, turning the car off.
Somehow, we made it inside without ripping our clothes off, and I poured us both a drink. It seemed even in my personal life, I couldn’t escape being a bartender.
“My family is much like yours. I was raised to be a hitman. And for a while, I was. But life started to have no meaning, and I didn’t like feeling like nothing mattered. It kills off a part of your soul when you take life as easily as I was trained to do. I did a lot of contracts when I started, desperate to prove myself. And the majority of them were bad people, so I felt like a vigilante doing my due diligence. But the first time I had to take an innocent person, it broke something in me.”
