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“And?” My heart tightened and strained against my ribcage as I tried to hide the panic building in my chest.
Tye was already angered enough without me blowing my cool, but I felt like a ticking time bomb.
“Dawson, it doesn't take a genius, they’re trying to earn a seat on the board. Del believes someone is trying to break us down, crumble the foundations and swoop in,” he stated as he reached for the bottle and topped his glass up again before offering it back to me.
“I’m good,” I pushed the bottle away and pointed to my three-quarters full glass, knowing it wouldn’t help the situation. “So, what do we do?”
“Well, it means I’ve got to do some digging. You didn't really enjoy the money side.” I couldn't help the grimace I felt pull onto my face. “I know, a sore subject, but I've got worse to come.”
“How can it get any worse, Tye?” I gulped as my stomach rolled, and a gut sinking feeling hit me hard in the chest.
“The new flagship takeover deal in midtown...?” Tye pushed the words out as he dropped his head down away from my gaze, cowering away from my stare. “I can’t leave here…”
“No, you promised, please don’t say...”
He hadn’t needed to utter those words to me, I knew what he meant. He had to break his promise. I stood up and threw the glass against the wall. As it smashed into pieces, the amber liquid that remained trickled down the wall. My heart thumped hard against my rib cage, my breathing rapid and heavy. I couldn't stop the anger burning through my veins as I scrunched my hands into fists and paced the length of the room.
“I… I can’t…” I forced out in sharp short bursts, the obvious shock at my reaction to his news was written all over Tye’s face.No wonder he had reacted that way when he arrived earlier on today. It probably hadn’t settled in yet.
“There’s no other option, Dawson.” Tye stood up and clasped my shoulder as I released some of the anger from my muscles, retreating into myself. “I wish there was…”
“Why? Why can't there be?” I whispered into the air, praying that something would spring from the depths of my mind. “I could learn everything on the financial side?”
“I don’t doubt you couldn’t, man. It’s just we haven't the time,” he stated, making the urgency of the situation known. “You have to return to Manhattan…” I nodded, knowing in my heart that he was right.
Manhattan wasn’t a place my heart could cope with. I’d just about dealt with the hit to the chest when I heard Tye had purchased the flagship. He promised I wouldn't have to be involved in the process. It took time to win me over, but he did with his logistics, just like he had with Brooklyn and downtown, too. He kept the deal that we agreed to, and I haven't stepped foot on U.S. soil, or more importantly in New York for the last three years.
It was going to be a battle of two sides, risk the flagship, our biggest investment, and set ourselves into career suicide. Or have someone stealing from us from the inside through our shares and stocks. Either way, Tye and I were screwed and both issues required action, except mine brought up a whole load of ghosts I didn’t want to face.
Everleigh
Each day, when I stepped outside my tiny apartment, I’ve always taken a moment to reflect on life and to appreciate the hustle and bustle of the streets of New York. I may sometimes think it’s crazy, sniffing up and savoring the smell of the freshly ground coffee in the air before grabbing a pastry but it’s a routine I’d become used to. I attempt to not let the crumbs fall on my lips, or on my freshly pressed outfit; one smear and I knew that karma had fucked me for the day ahead. I loved watching the busy commuters knocking shoulders and try to hide their scowled looks as they rushed past one another, to make sure that they’re not late for that all important meeting. Those moments were precious in my mind.This place was precious, you never knew when it could all change.
It’s why I loved my job and being here in the center of it all. Don't get me wrong, I could have lived anywhere and commuted like other people tended to do, but it wouldn't be the same. Who needed extra square footage in their apartment, anyway? It was worth being adaptable for the location. I was single, no reason to dwell on it like I had for so long or pay for unrequired space.
I loved working within the hotel industry and dealing mainly with the tourists and the odd business commuter. It felt that I had a purpose. I was able to show how much I actually cared about where I lived to other people. Give them a sense of the amazing city that never seemed to sleep, the inside scoop of the best places to visit and get the most value for their money. Or give them advise about places to visit that would capture even the coldest of hearts, like they did mine the first time I visited with him. Bittersweet really.
The only issue was I worked downtown at The Dalston; it was a great little hotel but not the dream. It was a budget brand of the branch, and I wanted the luxury and the location – not asking for much am I? I wanted the chance to work in the main spotlight of midtown, the area that made my heart beat that little bit faster. Times Square to the Rockefeller Center, you had the world at your feet. A place that held love in my heart but also a bucketful of hurt and pain. A battle I dealt with each day, but I hid away from the pain in favor of the beauty surrounding me. It was the only way I managed to survive each day.
* * *
3 years ago
I gaze at my watch at 11:57 p.m., and then at the billboards in front of me in Times Square, awaiting the beauty of the art show to begin; something that many tourists didn't know existed. A free attraction, right on the doorstep. Another new experience thrown in their path of exploration. I used to hate anything new, instead happy to surround myself with the familiar sights that everyone knows in the city, but he pushed me outside my comfort zone. He thawed my frozen heart, making me trust the unknown.
It's like something feels different today, like a numbness spreading through my body that I don’t want to attempt to evaluate, but I know I must. My heart pounds in my chest, the panic growing by the moment as I lift my eyes around with uncertainty and confusion.
I look across his face slowly. His chiseled jaw, soft lips, and dark brown hair I loved to pull on while riding out my orgasms, until I rested on his eyes. The man I adored with every part of me was lost and all I could see is the pain written across his features as he squeezed my hand that little bit tighter. The pain he refuses to talk about. A single tear dropped down onto his cheek as the show started, and he stared at the multicolored spectacular unfolding before his eyes. I know it’s not in wonder of the artwork; my gut screams for him to utter some words. Reassurance, anything to dull the pain splintering my heart into shards as the seconds pass by. I know they’re not going to come though, as I feel his fingers drop from my grasp and my body crumbles in an instance. Defeat and acceptance rolls into one as my mind registered slowly what was happening before my eyes.
His tall, broadening frame and defined figure, wrapped in his woolen coat, split through the crowd as the voices managed to drown out my shouts of his name.
The day Dawson Parker destroyed my world, along with my thoughts of a happy ending and my perception of men, altogether. Two years of bliss and less than three minutes to break it all apart. Once bitten, twice I wouldn't be so stupid. A naivety that I will live with forever.
All I know is that he decided to run, just not the reasons behind it, rather than battle whatever inner demons he’s facing. I’m the expenditure he’s willing to risk, and he hadn’t even fought for me, another pawn thrown to play in a game where there would only be one winner. It didn’t matter that he’d used my heart, ready and waiting to be ripped to shreds as bait.
I was going to prove that I was a force to be reckoned with. I allowed myself to be in control of my own destiny now, rather than a man. Hurt and pain ripped me apart that day, and many after, but as I built myself back together, I realized I was still standing and fighting. Friends guided me through the tough times, but my dreams and ambitions pushed me to not give in. I’d reach my goals, even if I had to fight through my own daily pain, for every day to come. Nothing ever came from backing down on a dream.
* * *
