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Fuck, Jake’s going to kill me for ruining his perfect little life, isn’t he?
The last few days I’ve barely left the apartment. I’ve loved being in the blissful happiness of Aiden's arms, whenever possible, with orders of takeaway being delivered at convenience. Today, reality has set in. I have to face the world again, and that means going to see Jake tomorrow. Aiden has to return to work, so he’ll be heading back to his place soon. It’s a good thing, really. I mean, we are strangers, we don’t really know each other… and yet I feel differently. I feel he knew the real me and he let me see a part of him he usually keeps hidden, too. In the few days we’ve spent together, I’ve felt safe and cherished, and I really like the feeling.
Rich often used to say it was my fault, that I pushed him with how clingy I’d become. That it was a major flaw in being with me, and one of the things he had grown to hate about me. I think I need the separation from Aiden, as I can feel I’m getting ahead of myself with feelings, but I need to be realistic, and think is this a rebound fling? God only knows what he’s feeling… Does he want more, or has he had his fill? If I’m honest with myself, I know I’m trying to sabotage whatever this may be. The sex and endless orgasms have been absolute perfection, but I can’t hide away from my life any longer.
I have to start to take steps forward on my own two feet.
Jake will soon be on my back once he has spoken to Mom and Dad and found out I didn't come to him when I first came here. He will be livid and put me in my place, asking what I am playing at.What brother isn’t protective?I won’t intrude on the life he’s made here. If I thought that would happen, I wouldn’t have been so open to come. I’m a grown woman that’s been through the mill, relationship-wise, but I got out and I’m starting again on my own terms. He won’t like it, but he’ll accept it… eventually. I gaze over at the man leaning over the kitchen side. He makes me clench my thighs together as he dishes me up a portion of Italian food from Russo's. Aiden claims it's the best and I deserve nothing less, not allowing me to argue the point. He shut me up by slamming his soft lips against mine and I feel the rough stubble against my chin.
“Aiden.” I clear my throat. Once the haze starts to clear, he passes me a hot plate of pasta which looks to be in a tomato-based sauce and a slab of thick cut garlic bread to the side. “Tomorrow.”
“I know,” he cuts me off. “I have to let you get things around here together, unpack and settle in.” He places his food on the table before he runs a hand through his brown hair and looks at me through sullen eyes. “And I need to get a few errands done before I'm back at work. But…”
“No buts… Let's enjoy this,” I counter back. I hope the quick change of subject is enough to not make him say anything, which will make me reply in haste or hurt his feelings.
The night passes by in a blur and restlessness takes over my body. I spend the hours watching Aiden's flawless features, trailing my fingers over his square cut jaw as I hope to not wake him from his deep slumber. It makes me think, did I sleep with such serenity like Aiden, or did the worry that I feel each day while awake etch across my features in my sleep, too? I know it may be creepy, but I commit a picture of every muscle and groove to reminisce over; like a silent farewell without the awkwardness. Even though I know we’ll bump into each other someplace in the town.
Aiden made everything so easy the next morning. There’s no awkwardness because I pretend I’m still asleep. He leaves his contact details on the side, gives me a kiss to my forehead as he whispers so softly, “I don’t know your story Blaire, but I know this scares you. Are you ready for an us? Because I need you to know I’m here for you. I’m already falling for you, my angel.” Then I hear the click of the door closing softly and I know he’s gone.
My heart pounds so fast, I’m breathless. Wow, he really is a knight in shining armour, I ponder as I hug my pillow tight and sigh deeply. Have I lost him even before he was truly mine? I don’t know, but by the way my heart hurts already, it’s for the best. I’m not good enough for him. He’s a forever guy, but I’m just too damaged. All I can do is tell myself this is for the best. Today is about getting things together in my head and dealing with the crap with my family. At least then, it's done with.
After a quick shower, I wrap a pink bath towel around my body and loosely towel dry my hair. I pull a long sleeve, floral fitted shirt and white fitted jeans from the box I have by the bedroom door and run the iron quickly over them. Once done, I drag them up over my body and allow my hands to graze down the front, gulping hard. I imagine Aiden's rough hands gripping my body instead. I spot the scrap of paper and decide it's always good to have a friend.
I input his number into my contacts list as Aiden, before I realize Mom and Dad had tried to call my cell.Fuck.Stalling time is up.
* * *
What do I get to show that I come in peace to my brother?I have to show him that I am strong and independent, not a wallflower about to freak out into a cowering mess at the first sign of any trouble. Mom will have told Jake her opinions about me not coping and struggling since moving back, which means he will be on top form to make sure I’m fine. It won’t matter what I say to him, I have to prove it.
I pull up outside the Firehouse building and park the Camaro down the road. Simon was right, I couldn’t get lost even if I tried to. It really is a small town. I gulp hard. My unsteady hands hold onto the tray of oatmeal cookies that Simon kindly suggested for the team, while I take deep breaths and try to calm myself. I look at the brick building and the red open doors with three fire engines parked outside in the yard and take a deep breath. I know Jake's inside. Simon let me know he spotted him on the way to his shift earlier this morning, whistling a tune while he passed by.
I walk up to the entrance doors and stop in my stride, greeted by an older man. “Can I help you, miss?” the voice questions.
“I’m looking for Jake… Jake Mitchell.”
“And can I ask who you are?” I notice his badge pinned to his chest – Chief Mike Clark.
“It’s alright, Chief,” a dark-haired man in its perfect style says as he peeps over his shoulder with a voice I instantly recognize. My body settles at the comfort of the familiarity and warmth in his eyes as Jake pats his shoulder. “This here is Blaire, my sister. Come on, let me introduce you to everyone and then I think we need to talk.”
I walk in and hold my head high. If I don't say anything, my resolve will shatter probably before he has even made it to what he wants to say. Jake has a habit of not letting others see his concerns or worries, especially when it involves me. Well, he did before he started here, and I crazily thought Rich was my knight in shining armor, until the devil incarnate became a permanent fixture.
“Jake, it’s not what Mom thinks,” I say, as I try to settle the nerves as I pass across the tray of cookies he places down in the entrance. “I’m fine.”
“Sure you are… and that’s why you moved here.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in close for a hug. “But I’m here now. Still doesn’t get you out of the talk.”
Jake leads me through into a communal room, and introduces me to a girl called Ember and a guy called Freddie before he takes me down the stairs to the fire engines.
“Aide, where are you?”
I lock my knees together before they buckle from beneath me. It's a small town I say over and over in my head. That name… It couldn't be him, could it?
My mouth starts to water when I notice the taut muscles ripple through a dirty, tight white t-shirt with low slung khaki overalls on his hips and fluorescent yellow striping on the edges. A dark head of hair and piercing eyes stare straight at me in confusion. My mind transports back to those firm lines and muscles that rode on top of my body and gave my body endless pleasure.
“Blaire.” Jake knocks my thought process while I lick my lip quickly, and hope I’m not drooling while I drop my head down. “This is Aide, my best mate. Aide, this is Blaire, my sister.”
“Sister?” He walks forward and pulls me in for a hug. “You never said…” He looks straight at Jake, but I feel the words pierce my heart like they were directed straight towards me.
“It's what I wanted to talk to you about, man,” he replies. “Blaire’s going to be a new permanent fixture around here.”
