Page 15 of Life is Guarded


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“It doesn’t though. Summer, listen…” Finn grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. “This may be a shock, a surprise. I don’t even know why I’m doing this, but I need to. If you hate Hudson after this, I’ll help you go.”

“You’re scaring me, Finn,” I admitted.

“Good because this isn’t fiction. This is your reality, Summer. This is the defining moment for Hudson and you.”

I listened intently to Finn’s words as sobs overcame me and my body trembled with grief. I was transported back five years to a time where I never wanted to visit again. A part of my life which defined who I am.

I thought I’d been the only one who had a dark fear—I was wrong. Hudson had buried his fears that day and used the ocean as a therapy. If he protected others and made people feel safe, then his demons were at bay. His flashbacks of that day were always relieved as he’d created a career to help others and ensure that everyone received the appropriate training, support, and guidance. It settled the burden in his soul. Hudson had believed that on the day he’d saved Paul, but the stark reality hit him his whole life was a lie.

I didn’t want to think about Hudson’s mindset at the time when I told him the truth about Paul. Lies. Shame. Pain.

Then one look at me. No wonder he ran. I knew what I had to do.

“Finn, where’s Hudson?” I asked, standing up and walking over to the wardrobe and opening the door as I fingered each outfit and decided on a linen skirt and crop top combination in a pale peach.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He smirked, running his hand through his messy hair, and blowing a long drawn-out breath. I turned to face him and raised my brows as I placed my hand on my waist and tapped my side. “Home.”

“Right, well, what are you still sitting there for? I ain’t changing with you here. Out now. Unless you want Hudson…”

“I’ll wait downstairs…” Finn smirked as he set off towards the door. “It’s nice to have you back, Summer.”

“Oh, I’m back alright and it’s time to make my guy see some sense.”

CHAPTERTWELVE

HUDSON

It was a lie. It felt like everything I knew was fake. Had I taught the wrong safety to people? Had I given wrong training to other lifeguards? What if there were more deaths of people about whom I didn’t know about? The area had one of the lowest incident rates around. I felt that somehow, I’d been part of the reason for that statistic, but now I questioned everything I knew. Maybe it was just Spencer Park Beach being such an excellent location it didn’t see the catastrophic effects that some other areas did.

My mind was spinning, and I didn’t know how to stop it. I was acting a fool; I knew that deep down. My conscience screamed toknock myself out of this mindset immediately. Any child could use snorkeling equipment wrong, bash their head on a rock. It was about precaution, training, and knowledge.It was the truth, but I couldn’t accept it and move past what I’d learnt. Paul had died.

I’d let myself wallow and shut myself away from anyone who cared. I knew Finn and my dad cared, but I was a ticking time bomb waiting for the explosion of Summer’s mom to come parading into the house and rip me a new one. For her to tell me it was my fault. To blame and say that every damn thought that had run through my mind was true. That I was right to hate myself.

I wanted her to hate me as much as I despised myself. I’d believed I’d saved a life all this time, but nope, my body hadn’t done enough; a little piece of me had died as I learned the truth. The scariest thought of all was I wanted her to ban me from ever going near her precious daughter, Summer, no matter what it did to my heart. It was the least I deserved. A hollowness in my heart for the rest of my life. That if I was part of her life, I’d take away the only piece of goodness that was left and destroy it piece by piece until nothing remained. I felt in her eyes she must see me as the grim reaper here to demand her judgement day, except I never left.

A swift, sharp knock at the door made me groan. Why would no one would get the picture? Why can’t they just leave me alone? The swift taps turned to louder bangs on the door, and I wondered how long before the person on the other side battered it down.

“Just go away. I don’t want any visitors.” I huffed, turning over to my side, and facing the wall as I cuddled a pillow to my chest, the wetness from my tears thankfully being absorbed by the fabric.

I let out a breath as the banging stopped and whispers started in which I couldn’t decipher the words. Until I heard the click of the door and it opened.

“I thought I told you I didn’t want any visitors.” I turned around as my mouth suddenly went dry at the person who made their way toward me and just stared at me, open-mouthed. I was a wreck; how else could I describe it? A misfit placed in the sparkling cleanliness of this room.

“I hoped I wouldn’t have been included in the people you wouldn’t want to see.”

“Summer,” I gasped. “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be near me.” I choked the words painfully out, my heart beating so fast at the desperation of wanting to touch her. One brush of a finger against her skin and I knew she could heal me, but that would be selfish of me. I couldn’t take away her perfection and happiness after what I’d done. I didn’t deserve it. I had cursed her with my venom and didn’t have an antidote to heal her with.

“Well Hudson, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. So, here’s what’s going to happen…” She pouted at me, with her hands placed on the curve of her hips.

I so wanted to run my fingers down that curve and watch her squirm at my touch. Look at her. It’s not like I could ignore how hot she looked and the way my cock reacted in her presence to her commanding tone. Fuck, I could just imagine her now dominating me and using those perfect round lips of hers… Fuck… I shook my head and brought myself back to the present.

“Summer…”

“Don’t Summer me, Hudson!” she demanded as the fire sparkled within her eyes.Damn, that was hot. “Youget showered,youget dressed andyouget your ass down those stairs and meet me in the kitchen. I’m telling you, you better do it now because otherwise…”

“You’ll do what Summer?” I goaded.

“I’ll walk away and this bare pussy of mine will never belong to you again,” she whispered quietly, dropping her gaze, and turning toward the door. “What you’re thinking isn’t all black and white. I’ve had time to process this. I know why you ran, but you don’t know everything and once you do, I think it will bring you the solace you need.”

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