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“Yeah, laugh it up. It’s a joke, isn’t it?”
“I’m not laughing.” I grabbed Summer’s hand and placed it in my palm, making her lift her head up and uncurl slightly. “I understand we all have fears, but letting them take over and haunt us isn’t right.”
“What do you mean?” Summer sits back tall and pushes her legs out straight, allowing the sand to gather around the edges of her legs.
“I mean, have you ever attempted to face your fears, somehow?” I questioned, squeezing her hand slightly, trying to convey my strength to her. “I mean, have you talked about it before with anyone?”
“No.” I felt the word hang in the empty space between us, the uncertainty pulsating off her in waves the moment she uttered it. “Hudson, I’ve never spoken to anyone about the pain I deal with or how scared I feel…” Summer lifted our combined hands toward my mouth to halt the words I wanted to speak. The urge to reach down and kiss her knuckles raged through my body. “...Before you say it, no, my mom doesn’t even know the depths of it. All she knows is I’m cautious around water.”
I felt like we’d shared a moment. A connection even. Why had she felt she could connect with me, a complete stranger to her, when her mom, I was certain, would’ve tried to support her through this? I had no idea, but I knew I had to help. My gut screamed that even though I was a nobody at the moment, I didn’t want to be. I wanted friendship, at least. If I was honest, I wanted my lips caressing hers, but that wasn’t the point. I needed to be the man who’d help guide her through this fear and to the other side, into the sunshine. Summer deserved to be in the light where she could swim into the sea without the devil swarming in and crowding her with the fear of panic overcoming her.
“Would you let me help you?” I watched her gaze travel back and forth as a gush of air and tremble took over her body.
I couldn’t resist any longer. I wasn’t a jerk and yes, entering her personal space may be a step too far at this moment, but it seemed we both needed this connection. A sense of reassurance that she’d trusted saying those words to me. Why not let me help heal her, too?
“Hudson,” she spoke softly as my hand dropped from hers and instead curled around her shoulder and brought her into the warmth of my side. “What if something happens? I don’t know why I even told you.”
“Because you felt you could trust me,” I uttered, squeezing the top of her shoulder as I embraced her warmth. Her brown, long, wavy hair trailed in the light wind behind us as the sun peeked back through the clouds. “Let me talk and explain and if you don’t want to, then that’s okay…” I watched her cautiously as Summer nodded before continuing. “I’m a lifeguard Summer, I know these oceans, the waters, like the back of my hand. I know where it’s safe and where it’s not. I know fear is rational, and it has its reasons, but Spencer Park Beach is one of the most family-oriented beaches there is. Just look around.”
I hoped revealing I was a lifeguard was a sensible thing to do. I wanted her to feel secure, knowing I knew what to do if an emergency did ever occur. I mean, I’d met her with the water droplets dripping down my body, but the peak of worry had piped up in me. Would she have thought I’d been on duty and called on a rescue before she’d arrived? I don’t know why my mind had drifted to a panic state. Maybe I didn’t want her to run scared. The last thing I’d needed her to think was something had been wrong instead of the fact I’d just gone out for a swim.
I hoped that Summer seeing so many moms and dads spending time here with their families would make her realize how family-oriented Spencer Park Beach was. I mean, the area wasn’t known for turbulent waters. Nothing was danger free, of course, but it was relaxed with children snorkeling to even building sandcastles. I thought it seemed the perfect place for her to relax, not hide away and fear like she’d done at first glance.
A wolf whistle made the pair of us glance straight ahead. I watched her place her hand above her eyes and squint. I chuckled, thinking I bet she’d wished she’d grabbed a pair of sunglasses before she came out earlier. I knew she definitely won’t make that mistake again. Now the sun is back out in full view and the rays are pouring down on us. I tried to look ahead but had to squint. The golden sand sparkled ahead, and the crisp blue seas went out for miles as Finn, Jess and Amelia started racing into our field of vision.
“Summer, you going to come out and join us or is he,” she pointed at me, “still trying to pull the moves on you?” Amelia winked, as Finn and Jess high-fived. “It’s lovely and warm.”
It was now or never. I knew Summer would either fly and soar high or be straight back up that path and running back to that yellow clad dead house and locking herself away. I stood up and reached for her hand, encouraging her to take a leap. “Trust me, Summer,” I urged.
I held my breath and waited as her slight fingers reached forward and touched mine. I wasn’t about to let her retreat and realize she’d made a mistake, so I pulled her up and interlocked my fingers into hers and began walking towards the glistening blue sea.
“We’re on our way,” I shouted back at the guys as they ran back into the sea and I felt the tightening of her grasp. “Summer, you’ve nothing to worry about, the only thing you’re about to get wet are your toes.”
CHAPTERTHREE
SUMMER
Icouldn’t believe I’d let Hudson persuade me to leave the comfort of being near the exit of the beach. My safety net and escape route. Instead, I’d agreed to allow him to lead me closer to my demise and the fear that ricocheted through my body and soul. For some reason, I squashed the devil that danced on my shoulder and decided to listen to the angel that sang from above instead.
I allowed myself to let go and push through with Hudson’s strength, taking each step closer until I could see the edge of the water only a few meters away from where I stood. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten this close. It was a miracle in its own right. Hudson pulled me onto the sand near a large rock and allowed me to gaze out at the beautiful scenery in front of us.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen an ocean this close, as a thunderbolt of emotion hit me. Whenever we’d gone away or traveled, I’d pick up postcards full of various colored seas and dream that I’d visited each one this close and managed to swim in wonderful depths. A fantasy that I’d never thought could happen, but Hudson had managed to get me within a few meters of an ocean. I’d never have thought a lifetime of therapy would have been achieved before. The emotions took over, and a tear escaped down my cheek.
“I don’t want to push you too far,” Hudson whispered as his thumb swiped across my cheek and he took the tear away. He placed his thumb in his mouth and sucked the wetness whilst he looked up and locked our gazes, allowing our eyes to clash and a darkness to appear. Hudson removed his thumb with a pop and kept his unfounded gaze on me. “I knew this was going to be emotional. That’s why I wanted to do it in stages. It’s not like I could’ve run straight into the water with you, and you would’ve been laughing.”
“No, I would’ve dug my heels in and ran,” I interrupted, before I dipped my head low and away from the intimidating gaze that made my core clench in need. “I’d have pushed you away and ran all the way home.”
“I did read the situation right then.” Hudson chuckled. “But there is no need to hide your emotions from me.” Hudson lifted my chin with his finger and turned my gaze away from the clear sand that surrounded me and out to the trio splashing in the low water. “That’ll be you in a few days. Just with it up to your knees. I want you to feel the ground beneath your feet and the water, too. It’s all not just a dream but a reality, if only you take the leap with me.”
“How can I do that?” I stuttered, my gaze struck by the scene in front of me as Jess fell back in the water, and they all just laughed. Finn picked her up, not before throwing a handful of water in his face and making him splutter. It was carefree and a feeling I’d never felt in my life. One that I wanted as my stomach had only seemed to know what knots and gripes of worry construed together to form.
“How would you feel starting with coming down to the beach in the morning, early hours, say seven, and watching me train?” Hudson questioned. “I feel you need to understand how safe you actually are and how hard we are working to know that when you are in the water, nothing would happen to you?”
Could I actually be like them? I turned to the side and saw Hudson’s hazel brown eyes and wide smile and thought—maybe.
“I could—I mean there are advantages—I suppose,” I joked as I threw my head back, realizing what I thought I said in my head had been to Hudson. I felt the heat travel up my neck and I was sure I was the color of a beetroot. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Yes, you should. At least I know—hope—you find this attractive.” Hudson winked as he ran his hand down his chest and leant backward in the sand on one hand on his side to give me a better view. “I mean, we’re both single.”
