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I surprise both of us when I lean towards him, slowly meeting our lips so that I can taste him. In the gentle press of my lips, I tell him my own secrets, and they speak of a love that I never knew I would feel again. My pulse, his lips, the sound of my breath, the feeling of the heat radiating off of him, the calm possession...I'm tied into a knot of desire. He tastes like everything I've ever wanted or needed. And I won't let him go. Not now that we've found our way to each other. No matter how wrong it is for me to want such a bad man. In Landon I feel the freedom that I never knew I was even looking for.
Everything changes that day. By accepting the evil in him, I found myself for the first time in this new life of mine.
There's a scarf tied around my eyes as we drive to some unknown location. By how far we've driven, I have suspicions of where we're going and for what purpose, but Landon has been so secretive lately that I play along like this is all a surprise.
Just as I suspected, when the scarf is untied from around my eyes, Landon's gleaming boat is waiting for us. He helps me on it, and when I see the rose petals strewn all over it, and the candles that someone has carefully lit, my heart begins to skip a beat. When I turn around, Landon is on one knee, anticipation and nervousness in his eyes. We are completely alone, the suits that usually follow us nowhere in sight.
"I haven't had a family for so long you would think it was forever," he begins, his tone slightly choked up. The moment I saw you, that changed. I refuse to spend another day in this life without you being mine," he says roughly, holding up a velvet, burgundy box which he opens up to reveal an enormous diamond ring.
"Marry me, Juliet," he orders.
The command in his voice can't mask the vulnerability that I see in his eyes. For the first time since I've met Landon I realize thatI'mactually the one with the power. This man who has never let anyone in, who has tried to control everyone and everything around him, needsme. He lovesmemore than everything else in his life. So much that he's willing to take this leap with me even with the chance I could hurt him.
It's a good thing that I love him just as much in return.
For a moment, I let myself remember another proposal, very different from this one, and I silently say goodbye to those beautiful memories.
"Yes," I tell him, tears beginning to stream down my cheeks.
His laugh comes out so relieved that I start to cry. God willing, we will have a beautiful life together.
I disappeared the night before we were to be wed. I was in front of the mirror, doing one last fitting of my wedding dress to ensure that everything was perfect, when I first felt the tingling.
I thought nothing of it at first, after all, it had been years since I last experienced the feeling. I was too busy fussing over my dress, wondering if the roses had been delivered, if Clara was ready to walk me down the aisle tomorrow, if Landon had any last-minute nerves. Clara had gone to see if my veil could be pressed. I was all alone in the room.
I was staring at myself in front of the mirror picturing what Landon's face was going to look like when he saw me...and then I was gone.
Like the masochist I am, I searched for what happened to Landon as soon as I got to a time period where it was possible.
After years of searching, I found a newspaper clipping talking about the notorious "Landon Torrio" who was shot dead outside of a speakeasy, three years after I had disappeared. The article said that "Landon had seemed unhinged in the years since his fiancé had disappeared without warning, frequently engaging in risky investments, gang wars for seemingly no real purpose, and heavy drinking." It said that he was buried in a small cemetery in Brooklyn.
When I finally find his grave, I feel that I might never recover. There's no sign of a wife buried nearby, and my traitorous heart gives a sigh of relief. Under his birth and death dates are etched lines from what I recognize as a verse from Romeo and Juliet:
These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
He never forgot me. Just like I will never forget him.
Now
Liam arrives at the diner an hour after I start my shift. He asks Bethany to sit in my section, and then promptly pulls his laptop out of his artfully faded leather satchel, typing away as the night goes on.
I of course ignore him, intent on getting through to him that I was serious when I told him that we shouldn't see each other. I send Bethany to make sure he's fed and watered since he doesn't appear to be going anywhere, but I studiously pretend that his booth is not in my section.
I pretend that I don't hear Bethany cracking up in laughter at something he says to her as she refills his water. I pretend that I don't see the local prostitutes eyeing him as they eat in preparation for their busy night. I pretend that I don't see the way that our regular customers respectfully eye him as they come in. I pretend that I don't care.
He stays in that booth until my shift ends, making no move to talk to me. His limo is once again waiting as he follows me outside, the same as the first night I met him. Tonight though, I don't get into the limo, and I stubbornly walk the two miles home, with Liam's limo slowly tailing me. It would be creepy if I didn't know now that Liam is the kind of guy that would make sure anyone he cares about is safe.
