AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I shake my head, trying to recover.
"You're not having fun?" John asks worriedly.
Perfect timing.
"Sorry, something distracted me. I'm having a great time," I tell him, patting him on the shoulder like he's a well-meaning schoolboy. I cringe at the move, but John must not notice because his cheeks redden at the touch. Leave it to me to find the only person in the room that is nearly as out of practice at the art of flirting as I am.
I regret taking my focus away from Will when a song comes on that I recognize as one that I once danced to with Landon. Without a good distraction, my mind is swept away to the many times I danced with him. What would we have done on our wedding anniversary? Would we have gone out for a fancy dinner and dancing? Or would we have stayed in, content to spend time with each other and the kids that we had created together? Would Clara have been there as well?
It suddenly becomes too much, and I come to a halt even though the song isn't over yet.
"Everything okay?" asks John worriedly, and I see how awkward he feels when he sees the tears that have gathered in my eyes.
"Just a song that brings about a lot of painful memories," I whisper, smiling at him tremulously. "I need to take a small break," I tell him, stupidly patting him again before walking briskly to an exit.
Once outside, I walk past a few couples ardently devouring each other's faces, until I get to the back of the dance hall where I can be completely alone. The sounds from inside trickle out. The song is still playing.
I let myself sob. I let myself feel all the pain that I keep trapped inside of me. Not for the first time, I wish that I could join my lovers in their graves.
I feel his presence before I see him.
He doesn't say a word, just comes to stand next to me. I continue to cry, unable to stop their fall now that I've let myself go.
After what seems like an hour, but is probably only a few minutes, I finally get control of my tears. I'm sure I look a mess when I look over at him.
"Did you need something?" I ask shortly.
The expression on his face is almost like he can't believe he's out here with me. I'm wondering the same thing myself. Why would he be out here with an emotional wreck when he could be having his way with the multitude of girls waiting for him to give them half a glance?
"Do you need anything?" he asks quietly.
The disdain that I'm trying to summon for this manwhore is hard to sustain when I hear the sincerity in his voice. I have to remind myself that Will Darling isn't the boy next door, he's the lion ready to slaughter me the lamb.
"No, thank you," I answer softly.
We stand there in silence once again.
"You can go back inside," I tell him after the silence becomes too heavy.
"I know what it feels like to miss somebody so much that you feel like you are going to die from the pain," he says, in a far-off voice. "It's not good to be alone when you're feeling like that."
I'm surprised to hear the statement come from him, and I'm even more surprised to hear the agony that's bleeding from his voice.
"Today would have been my wedding anniversary," I tell him numbly, feeling free to admit the source of my sorrow to someone who obviously has sorrow of his own.
I can feel him looking at me, and in that moment, I feel like we are connected. The back exit of the dance hall opens up, and a raucous, excited group makes a drunken exit. It shatters whatever solidarity I feel with him, and I have the urge to flee.
"Have a good night," I hastily call out, before beginning to walk back inside the dance hall.
I take one last look back, and immediately regret it. Will is staring off into the distance as if he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. The moon illuminates his perfect face, casting a glow on features that are etched in grief. I hurry inside before my heart does anything I will regret.
I find Trina still at the bar, chatting with another handsome soldier.
"I'm going to head out," I tell her, tapping her on her shoulder to get her attention.
"Did you see Will out there?" she immediately questions me, apparently not caring that I said I was leaving.
For some reason I feel the urge to lie.
