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But she would never know that.
"Where's Father," I say expectantly, looking beyond her into the house to see if he was nearby and just biding his time. Upon closer inspection, I’m surprised to see that the inside of the house was incredibly different than it had been when I had lived here; completely different furnishings, a different paint color...everything.
Shelley starts wringing her hands, a sad look crossing her face.
"We lost your father about three years ago," she says, failing to suppress a soft sob. “His ship crashed during a bad storm on his way back from one of his trading trips.”
I look at her in shock, unable to get my body to move. The pain reverberates all over me.
While it was true that it had taken me a few days to make it here, I had never expected that my father wouldn’t still be here. Six years was nothing to me. But I realized in this age, it was quite a bit.
I tried to hold back my agony, but I could tell by the look on her face that I wasn’t succeeding. I had an urge to see if she was telling the truth even as I knew that she would have no reason to lie.
"Who lives here now?" I ask, tears beginning to stream down my face.
"Because you couldn’t be found to know if you had married allowing the estate to pass to your husband, it instead went to one of your male cousins. His name is Henry Archibald. He and his family live here now. I believe he was a second cousin who lived in Dorchester. You had never met him before."
I was having trouble comprehending everything she had just said. Not only had my father died, but this was no longer the Caris family estate.
Obviously, I knew that things were going to have changed in six years. Coming back to this time was already more than I could've ever hoped for.
But it seems like I was six years too late. It was too late to prevent James from marrying Francesca. It was too late to see my father one last time.
It was the story of my life.
I was always too late.
Although usually I was overshooting it by a couple of hundred years instead of six. It was just another way that fate loved to laugh at me.
“Would you like to stay until your cousin is home?” Shelley asks sympathetically.
“No. I need to get back,” I say quickly. Shelley is kind enough not to point out that I had been prepared to stay when I thought my father would be here. \
I give her a long hug and I don’t tell her that I will keep in touch. There’s no sense in that.
I feel listless as I get back on the horse and ride away. The countryside passes in a blur as I ride hard with no direction or destination in mind.
I’m feeling a lot of things at once. Sadness yes, but also guilt. Not that it would've made a difference if I had tried to see my father first upon arriving here, but I feel like I have somehow failed him by waiting a few days to find out his fate.
I wondered what his last thoughts were as the ship went down. Was he afraid? Or was he ready to meet his Maker? Maybe he thought he would be reunited with me. Maybe he thought he would be reunited with my mother.
Either way I hope that he wasn't alone when he died. I hope that he had someone who cared about him on that ship with him.
When I finally pay attention to where I’m going, I realize that I’m almost to the place that James had taken me on our first date. The sea is sprawled out in front of me. I breathe in the smell of it, savoring all the memories. I remember how James had looked at me that day that we had come here. It was the true start of our relationship. He looked at me like I was everything.
When I look at the sea now though, it isn’t just James that I see anymore.
It was Landon on the yacht, devouring me with his eyes. It was Will and I walking along the pier after the date where I had tried to disgust him and scare him away. It was Gabriel and I exchanging vows on the cliffs, the promise of forever in his eyes. And it was Liam, saving me. I close my eyes and make a wish.
Then I get back on the horse and ride slowly back to the palace, for the first time not in a particular rush to get there.
Chapter 8
Iknow I’m in trouble the second I arrive at the palace gates. Three guards with serious faces, ones that I haven't seen before, grab my arm and drag me inside. I’m taken directly to the Throne Room where a frantic James is meeting with his advisors. I’m met with many of their furious stares as I’m dragged inside.
"What's going on?" I ask. James looks up at my words, sharp relief evident in his gaze.
"Where have you been?” he asks in a dark tone. It’s a question that’s beginning to make me feel a bit like I’m experiencing deja vu. It’s very reminiscent of every day that I’ve been here. I take a deep breath, trying to control my tears at the thought of where I had just come from.
