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Paxton cradled my cheek in both of his hands as I continued to stroke his face with my thumb. Without saying anything, he pulled my head down and brushed his lips gently against mine.
That moment of softness from him suddenly had tears falling from my face. I slipped my arms around his neck and held onto him, needing him to ground me.
"It's okay, baby,” he whispered over and over as he began to kiss every inch of my face, finally resting his lips against my forehead and breathing into my hair.
Paxton rolled me to my back so that he was on top of me. As if my fingers had a mind of their own, they slid from his neck to his back and I began to trace the muscles flexing as he held himself over me. I pushed my face into his neck, dragging in huge gulps of his delicious scent. I began to lick and suck the skin on his neck, until he was moaning and pressing me into the bed.
We became wild and needy then, rolling around the bed together, lips, tongue, and teeth clashing as we moved together. He pulled my shirt down and began to suck on my nipple, causing electric sparks to cascade all the way down my body to my clit, which began to pulse with need.
Yes. I wanted this. I wanted him to make me forget. I arched into him, rolling my pussy against his hard length. I closed my eyes as he let go of my nipple with a pop and then began to make his way down my skin, his hand reaching down to massage my clit.
I was close to euphoria one second, and then his fingers pressed into me, and that was it.
I screamed as I was back in that room, the senator over me, viciously fucking me with his fingers. The scene flashed violently through my mind, over and over again, until I didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore.
I didn’t know how long it took to come back to my bedroom, but when I finally did, it was to Paxton's worried gaze. He was stroking my hair and whispering words that my fragile mind couldn't seem to comprehend. But I could hear his deep, smooth voice, and as the sound of it washed over me, my heart rate began to come down.
"I–I'm sorry," I finally said, feeling completely embarrassed that I had just fallen apart like that as we were—
"Don't say sorry. Don't ever say fucking sorry to me again," he ordered. "None of that should even have happened. Of course you wouldn't be okay with me touching you after he..." His face flooded with anger, and I knew it wasn't against me; he was chastising himself. He slid to the side of me, and I rubbed my face with my hands, wishing I could cut today from my life.
Paxton slid his arm under my head so I was completely cradled in his embrace.
Then he began to sing again, his voice lighting up my insides and pushing away the dark.
I wondered, not for the first time, how significant it was that he was giving me that piece of him, one of the only things that he'd kept from his mother.
I drifted off to sleep with his voice, scent, and body completely surrounding me in a protective cocoon that I never wanted to leave.
How was I ever going to sleep without him again?
And even though the nightmares still came, with Paxton's steady presence somehow enveloping me even in my dreams…they didn’t seem so bad.
Chapter27
Aurora
To my surprise, Paxton was still wrapped around me in the morning…and it honestly kind of felt weird.
But weird in a good way, like I wouldn’t mind doing it every morning. He was cuddly, and he helped me make my bed…and it was just really fucking domestic considering we were enemies.
Or kind of enemies. I was a bit confused at the moment.
He brushed his lips against mine. “I’ll see you at breakfast,” he murmured, before walking through the bathroom to his room and closing the door behind him.
Suddenly, I didn’t want to go to breakfast. I didn’t think I could stand it if he was back to hating me in front of all of them. Since he’d started to come into my room, the nights had been our neutral ground—the only time where we let down our walls and pretended likewedidn’t hate each other during the day.
But after last night…it felt like the carefully constructed barriers we’d created between the night and the day were crashing down around us.
And the bad part was, I didn’t know if I wanted to rebuild them.
Something inside of me was begging him not to break my heart.
I hated that.
Deciding I would just grab something in the cafeteria before class, I got dressed and then headed out into the hallway…where Paxton was waiting for me.
“What are you doing?” I asked suspiciously.
