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6
Val
I was alone when I woke up. It was to be expected. Rick had an early morning shift. Hell, I was used to waking up alone. It’s what I always did. It hadn’t mattered before.
Definitely seems to matter now.
I had told myself that I could handle this feeling, that the pain from the past had long healed. In some ways it had, but when you had a love like what Rick and I did, you never get over the loss. The harder you try, the bigger the hole in your heart. All you do is get better at burying it.
Just because I’m good at it, doesn’t mean I am okay with it.
Though Rick had gone, his cologne still lingered on my sheets so I knew last night had been real. He could have left a note. It didn’t have to be full of loving words and promises, even a simple “have a good day” would’ve eased my heart.
Why is leaving so easy for him and so damn hard for me?
I had no idea how to reach him, so now he held all the cards. I certainly didn’t have the same phone number from ten years ago, and even if I could remember his old one, it had probably changed too.
Guess I can always go ask the captain to send Rick to my room.
I laughed softly to myself. Lying in bed all morning would be ridiculous with an entire ship waiting to be explored. First stop: the breakfast buffet. I had worked up an appetite.
I was fresh from the shower, dressed, and putting my sandals on when my phone rang. I had ignored Meg long enough. If I didn’t answer, she’d find a way to call the cruise line in fear that I’d fallen overboard or something. It was easy - I could answer her call, set her mind at ease, and hang up. There was no reason to ever mention Rick or the amazing lovemaking we shared all night.
The caller ID said it was my daughter. I answered. “Calling to see if I’ve forgiven you yet?”
“I’m your child. You can’t stay mad at me,” she said. “At least not if you want to be able to visit your grandchildren.”
I almost dropped the phone. Is this a joke? Because I do not find it funny.
“Abby, are you…?”
“Yes, Mom. We’re having a baby!” she exclaimed.
My eyes filled with tears of joy. “I’m so happy for you.” And for me! “When did you find out?” Better not be before I left on this cruise.
“The doctor confirmed it late yesterday afternoon. I tried calling you last night, but you weren’t picking up your calls. I’d like to think you were too busy having fun to take my calls, but knowing you, you probably went to bed early.”
Oh, I was in bed. And having more fun than I’ll ever admit, even to myself.
“I don’t want to talk about me. I want to hear about you. How are you feeling?” I asked.
“Really glad I’m not on that ship with you. I can’t keep anything down in the morning. Were you sick when you carried me?”
I had been sick with worry about being a single parent, but that was all. “No. Maybe this means you’re having a boy.”
“Timothy would love that. But I want a girl. I remember how much fun it was growing up doing all those things we did together. You played dolls with me and we went shopping.”
And you drove me crazy with worry during your teen years.I was glad she looked back at her childhood fondly. There were plenty of times I thought she’d never speak to me again when I laid down the law. My job wasn’t to be her friend, but her parent. To raise her to be a good person. And that is what you are.
“I’m sure Timothy is thinking how much fun it would be to go fishing and play ball with a son, too. But no matter boy or girl, I’m sure that baby is going to be spoiled,” I said.
“Mom, you’re not going to spoil our child,” she said firmly.
I laughed. “I’m talking about your grandmother. When she finds out, she’s going to insist on taking you out shopping for the baby’s room.”
That’s my job. And I’m stuck here on this cruise ship when I should be home celebrating this wonderful news with Abby.
I wanted to give her a hug, but had to remind myself that I was here, because she sent me here.
