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My mother grinned and said, “Oh, I have a lot of information. Where should I start?”
“Mom!”
She laughed and continued. “Your mother and Rick were inseparable. Trust me, I tried several times. If you ask me, he was The One.”
“You’re not helping,” I said firmly.
Abby said, “Don’t listen to her, Grandma. I want to hear all about this guy. And also, why haven’t I heard about him before?”
“Maybe because I don’t want to talk about him?” I said.
“Mom, you never told me you were in love before!” Abby exclaimed. “I’ve asked, and you always changed the subject. But from the way you’re acting now, I’m guessing you’re still in love with the guy. But why are you two talking about someone from before I was even born? That’s old news, not that I mind hearing about it.”
“Because he was on the cruise with your mother,” Mom replied.
Abby gasped. “What?” She turned to me and said, “Why didn’t you tell me when we talked before?”
“Because it’s nothing.” Nothing I want to talk about.
“She says it’s nothing, but she called and asked me to contact the captain of the ship and tell him that they were married and on their honeymoon.”
Mom, that was supposed to be a secret.
“Married? You’re married and didn’t tell me?” Abby said, tears filling her eyes.
“No. I’m not married. I’ve never been married. And if I was getting married, you’d be the first to know,” I said, grabbing her hand, trying to calm her.
“No. I’ll be the last, just like I’m the last to know about Rick. What else are you hiding from me?” She shot a look at me and wiped her eyes. “Mom, I’m going to ask you something very serious and I want an honest answer. No lies.”
Now I’m scared.I had no idea what it could be, but I had no issue making a promise. “You have my word. I’ll answer whatever you need to know.”
“Is…Rick my…father?” she asked.
I hadn’t been prepared for that one. I wish I could say yes.
I took a big breath before answering. “No. He’s not. I met your father in Las Vegas after Rick and I broke up.”
“Oh,” she said. “I don’t know anything about Rick, but if you loved him, then at least I would’ve known I was conceived in love.”
Hearing her say that broke my heart. “Abby, I don’t want you ever to think that you are not loved. I love you more than life itself. Your father might not have wanted to be a parent, I do not ever regret having you. You’re all I need,” I said, wishing she would believe me.”
“I wish that was true,” she sighed.
“It is.”
Abby nodded. “I wish Rick was my father. He must be a real good guy.”
“He was…is,” I replied.
“So why aren’t you two together, then?” she asked.
“Abby, it’s not that we don’t want to be, but sometimes there are painful memories that we need to leave in the past.”
“Did he…hurt you?” she inquired.
“No. He never laid a hand on me. Never raised his voice. There was a…tragedy in his family and it made it too…difficult for him to stay around here any longer. Sometimes even love is not enough to fix everything.” Trust me, I love him with all my heart, and it still isn’t enough.
Abby squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
