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“Can we please change the subject? I don’t want to talk about him. I have other things, like running a business, that I need to think about,” I said firmly. That was one thing that hadn’t changed. If I slack and The Treasured Chest goes in the red, I’m going to be stuck running it longer than a year. Is everyone forgetting why I am even in Bermoose? It’s not for me. It’s for them. If I had followed my heart, I would already be in Boston, and never met Andrew in the first place. And never falling in love with Andrew, and never felt the pain of it when it came to an end.
It felt like someone was holding my heart and squeezing so tight that it couldn’t beat.
Whoever said it was better to love and lost than never loved at all, must be a masochist because this kind of pain fucking sucks.
“I know one thing,”
“What is that?” she asked, afraid of what she was going to say.
“I’m hungry. Want to go get a bite to eat?”
Finally, you get it. My stomach was still twisted in knots, but I had to eat. I wouldn’t mind grabbing a half-gallon if moose tracks ice cream and a spoon and running back to my room. Gaining twenty pounds over this wasn’t going to help a thing. But real food would at least provide some much-needed energy before I go into work. God, I don’t want to go to the club tonight. Why do I have to be so…responsible? Why can’t I just crawl away and hide and lick my wounds I want to?
Trixi smiled and said, “I feel like a club sandwich. How about going to the diner on Main Street?”
“Really? Don’t you think they’ll all still be talking about me?” I asked.
“Then why not go and set the record straight? Tell them you’re not going anywhere and that Bermoose is your home for God knows how long, because you’re too scared to chase what you really want.”
I shot her a warning look. “I’m not going anywhere if you’re going to keep talking about Andrew.”
“I never said his name. You did,” she smiled. “Guess we know now what you really want.”
I rolled my eyes. Why did I say I missed having you home again?
I wanted to argue with her, but she was right. I wanted Andrew. But that didn’t change the fact that he never wanted me, and used me to get to my land.
I had to admit, I was happy that Andrew had looked deeper into the will. I had options now that I didn’t before. But that didn’t mean I could pull it off alone. And that’s exactly what I am. Alone.
