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“I wasn’t sure I was going to,” I said, honestly. Instantly I saw that was the wrong response. Her eyes went dark and her spine went straight.
Getting up, she pulled the sheet and wrapped it around her. “Let me help you with your decision,” she said sharply. “I’m not going. Wasn’t that simple? Now I suggest you get dressed so you’re not late.”
She stormed out of the room and left me sitting on the bed. Well, I fucked that up.
I had no idea how to fix it. I could call Shanda and ask her to speak to Lindsay on my behalf, but I didn’t want a third party involved. Lindsay had every right to decline the invitation. I presented it poorly and I hurt her feelings.
Reaching over to the nightstand, I picked up my cell phone and texted Andrew. NOT MAKING IT TODAY. NOTHING IS WRONG. JUST LET MOTHER KNOW I’LL SEE HER NEXT WEEK.
One good thing about Andrew was that he could deliver a message without asking a million questions. Sure enough, his response confirmed I picked the right brother to deliver my message. WILL DO.
With that taken care of, I could spend the rest of the day getting her to forgive me for being, as I have been told lately, clueless.
I wasn’t going out there in a sheet, that was for damn sure. So, I got dressed and went to find her. She was sitting on the couch sipping her coffee. Since she hadn’t brought me one, I knew I was in hot water.
I sat down beside her, and she said, “Don’t you need to be going someplace?”
I shook my head.
“Your mother is going to be upset if you don’t show.”
“Not as pissed off as you will be if I do,” I said.
She turned and looked at me. “Don’t turn this onto me. It’s your decision to go or not. Hell, it is your decision if I go, too. But guess what? I don’t like people making decisions for me.”
“That’s not what I was trying to do,” I said softly.
“Really? You knew I was invited for a week. You told your mother I would be there. And then you only let me know a few minutes before we would need to leave. Which one of us is controlling my life in that situation?”
Her tone was harsh, but I deserved it. I wanted to keep my cool going forward. “It may have come off that way, but that wasn’t my intention. I did know for a week that she wanted you to come today. But I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.”
“Because I don’t fit in and your mother might not approve of me. I get it. And I really don’t care,” she snapped. “I’m not out to impress her. Or you.”
“I already know that about you. But it was more about me than you. I want you to meet my family, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re under a microscope. And if Shanda told you about my mother, then you know she can be tough.”
“Yes, I know. I also know that she loves her family very much and wants only the best for her children. If you’re so worried, then it’s because you don’t think I’m good enough for you. And you’re probably right,” Lindsay sniffed.
“You’re close. It’s me who isn’t good enough for you, Lindsay. I’m one hell of a lawyer, and tough in business. But when it comes to a relationship, I totally suck. There have been so many times I wanted to say or do something and then I shut down. Not because of you, but because of what it might imply.”
“And what is it that you don’t want me to know?” she asked.
I reached for her hand and pulled it onto my lap. I wasn’t going to let her go. I couldn’t lose her. For the first time in my life, I knew what joy was. I might not ever have what Kenneth and Shanda shared, but damn it, I wanted to try. I wanted a reason to leave the office and come home after work. I want that reason to be Lindsay.
“That I’m falling in love with you.” The truth has been said. It was too short. No explanation. But did it really need one?
“Phillip, tell me again,” she said. “But this time, look at me.”
I hadn’t even realized I had closed my eyes. Opening them, I looked directly into hers and all I saw was love. Was it mine, or hers?
She started to pull her hand away from mine and I quickly said, “I love you, Lindsay. I love you.”
“Oh, my God, Lindsay, did you hear him? He loves you,” Samantha said from behind us.
Fuck!That was the last thing I needed. Samantha was as bad as my mother. I looked over my shoulder and said, “Samantha, if you don’t mind, Lindsay and I could use some privacy.”
She placed her hands on her hips and said, “I live here, remember?”
I was tempted to scoop Lindsay into my arms and carry her out of the apartment, even with her only wearing a sheet. But I couldn’t forget her accusation of making decisions for her.
