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Chapter Twenty-Two
Lindsay
The thing about Sunday nights is that most tickets are released on Monday morning. That meant I had to leave Phillip’s and spend the night standing in line. If I had been at my house, I would have packed everything I needed to keep me occupied and comfortable for hours, including an extra phone charger. Instead, I had to restrict my phone use so my battery wouldn’t die.
No music, no videos, and no games to play meant I was stuck just sitting here on the ground. Thankfully, it wasn’t cold, so the cement didn’t send a chill through me like it did a few weeks ago. But entertainment wasn’t the only thing I was missing. When I must sit or stand for eight to ten hours without a bathroom break, it’s extremely handy to wear protective leakage underwear. The only way I was going to make it was by not drinking anything.
It was six in the morning and already at least twelve people were in line behind me. Most times, I loved being first in line. It showed I was good at my job. Tonight, I wasn’t enjoying myself and I couldn’t quite figure out why.
Yes, being unprepared made for a bad time, but that wasn’t it. I knew I was going to score the tickets my client requested, so I could cross that off the list. My spirit just wasn’t in it like usual.
As I looked around, I realized what the issue was. This was the exact place that I met Phillip for the very first time. Who would’ve thought that one brief encounter would bring us to where we were today? In love.
Phillip didn’t think I understood him when he said, ‘move in’, but I did. I just wasn’t ready to have that conversation. He’d welcomed me into his life, into his family. I wanted and needed to do the same. Unfortunately, my parents moved to Florida when they turned sixty-five, saying they couldn’t handle the cold winters any longer. But the distance meant that they hadn’t gotten to meet Phillip. He was such a huge part of my life now, and I wanted them to know how much he meant to me before we took the next step. If there really is going to be one.
I decided that when I got home, I would place a call to my folks. I had been waiting because I feared that any moment, Phillip would change his mind and all this joy and happiness would come to an end. But ever since he told me that he loved me, I was no longer haunted by those fears. Now I was thinking about a future, but I still had no idea what that would look like with Phillip.
I wanted to take one day at a time, go with the flow, but after witnessing Jerry propose to Reanna yesterday, I began wondering what it would be like if it had been me. Phillip said it would be one day, but there were so many things he and I had never discussed, like children being top of the list. I wanted them. Did he? I had no idea.
As Samantha likes to remind me, I’m not getting any younger. My clock was ticking. Women were having babies later in life, but that also came with risk. Not that I was out to get pregnant now, but it was something I needed to start thinking about. Funny, just a few weeks ago if anyone asked, I’d have said I liked my life the way it was, single and free. How quickly I changed my mind.
I was too afraid to want the fairytale. Even now, I’m not sure it’s real.
“Lindsay? What are you doing here?” Clark asked.
I’d totally forgotten that the ticket counter was in the building that Clark owns. “Good morning, Clark. I’m working.”
“Does Phillip know you’re here?” he asked. I nodded. “I’m shocked he still lets you do this.”
Lets me? Oh, hell no, he did not just say that.I didn’t care how much money someone had, no one dictated what I could do. I love Phillip, but I wanted a relationship based on mutual respect, communication, and trust, not control. I felt my blood begin to boil, then a tiny voice in my head said, ‘He’s not Phillip’.
Phillip was the man I loved. And so far, he had been understanding and supportive of my career choice. “He didn’t mention anything when he dropped me off. Well, except to have a great night at work.”
“Really? That’s sure as hell not what I would say.”
“He’s not you,” I stated, thankful for that.
“That’s for damn sure. Actually, of late, I’m not even sure he’s Phillip. He’s changed. Not that it’s a bad thing, but every time I think I know what he’s going to do, he throws a curveball.”
At least that was something Clark and I agreed on. Phillip was a man full of surprises. And I love each and every one of them.
“Did you want to come in for coffee while waiting for the sales counter to open?” he offered.
I chuckled. “Thanks for the offer, Clark, but I’m paid to wait in line. Going in would defeat the purpose and my client wouldn’t get their tickets.”
“But you don’t have to do this anymore. I mean all you need to do is tell Phillip what you want, and I’m sure he’ll make it happen just like he did the last time,” Clark stated.
Clark didn’t get it at all. I didn’t want Phillip doing for me what I was very capable of doing for myself. I took pride in doing my job and doing it well. Were there a few times I failed? Sure. But those were far and few between. I couldn’t sit home and be a…kept woman. I’d go crazy.
“I enjoy my work, Clark. And I don’t plan to quit.” I didn’t owe him an explanation, but I gave him one anyway. “Do you know what I love about your brother?”
“It can’t be his looks,” Clark joked.
Very funny.“The fact that he loves and accepts me for who I am. And I do the same. If you try to change a person to make them who you want them to be, then eventually, someone gets bitter, and it all falls apart.”
Clark smiled and said, “Sounds like Phillip is one lucky man.”
“I’d say it’s mutual. Since you’re here, there is something you could do for me,” I said, realizing I had to pee.
