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“We have to hope for the best,” I remind Dusk, stroking his arm. Hope is about all we have right now. Hope and the shards, anyway, and I'd be damned if we lost either.
“Hope? What’s that?” He's trying to sound sarcastic, but the words come out broken, edged with unshed tears. “We’ve been near the Void every night for weeks and there’s nothing. No sign. No Phantom. If he was still himself, don't you think he would have found a way back to us by now?” His voice is flat, resigned to the notion that Phantom is lost.
“I know. But we have to keep believing that he’s fighting to come back to us as hard as we’re fighting to find him.”
Dusk looks at me. “You saw him, Ann. You saw the light dim in his eyes as soon as the shadow king stabbed him in the heart.” I did. But I also have faith that whatever his father is doing to him, we can undo with all the love and respect we have and whatever else he needs.
Reaching up, I touch his face, then leave a light kiss on his lips. "His heart belongs to me, and I'll get it back."
A sad smile touches his lips. "I want to believe you. I really do. But with every day that passes..."
"Every day that passes means there's hope for the next day." Then I stroke the stubble on his face. "You guys held out hope for me for a long time. You never gave up."
"We did," he says, his shoulders slumping.
"Did you?" I ask with a smile.
He sighs. It’s deep and loud and from his gut where all his anguish stays. “Come on. We need to eat before we head back to the Void.”
My smile falters. "I never gave up on you guys either. I just didn't realize it. And I think deep down, below all your pain, you haven't given up on your brother either."
He puts his hand over mine. "I love you."
It isn't an admission that I'm right, but at least it's something. "I love you too."
We hold hands as we walk back to our camp. His shoulders are still curved, his face still full of pain and loss, but he holds my hand tightly, and I know that means he hasn't given up yet. Even if he doesn't want to admit it out loud.
Onyx is waiting with food when we return. He smiles softly and hands me a plate. Since becoming his mate, so much has changed between us. The wall he was so good at erecting between us has fallen away. It's as if he's finally realized I'm the one person who will never willingly leave him now. That it's okay for us to love and care for one another. Which has allowed me to learn more about him. I've realized that Onyx is the quiet one, and not just because he signs. He's just a quiet man and probably was before losing his hearing too. He's softer than Dusk when he needs to be. Angry when he has to be. Sweet when he’s walking with me outside the cave under the Earth’s moon. Onyx is simply complicated and wonderful.
When we get Phantom back, I know this relationship between all of us will be beautiful. It will be everything I ever wanted in life and more.
At least in my mind.
We eat together around the dying fire. The food tastes like nothing, but that’s how it’s been since Phantom left. I eat because I have to. Not because it brings me any joy. I also eat because the less I fight eating and sleeping, the more my men seem to relax, and I want them to relax. I don’t want them to have to worry about me on top of everything else.
"We're checking again today, then going to cave three, right?" Rayne asks, speaking slowly to make it easier for Onyx to read his words.
Dusk nods. "A quick check. Something about tonight... feels off."
Does it?I sit up a little stranger but feel nothing.
"Agreed," Onyx signs, then returns to eating.
Does he feel it too then?I want to ask, but don't. I'm not sure I want to know. This place is already creepy enough at night, I don't need a reason to be more afraid.
I finish dinner first, but Onyx is the one who cleans up. He tries his best to hide all traces that we'd camped there this day. And then we’re off into the fading light of the evening.
We head to the Void and I have to slow my pace so as not to run to the Void. Every day is another chance to see him. To hope he's found his way back to us.
To be together again and fill the empty space in my heart.
We arrive at the Void together, but as always, we linger in the shadows of the woods. This might be the place Phantom can return to us through, but it's also the place our enemies can come through. And we all know it.
The rays of evening fade away as time passes and darkness swallows us. A wave falls over the forest, and the sound of crickets and night birds fills the air, but we all remain frozen, waiting. Each night we stand here around the Void, watching it as long as our hearts can take it, waiting. I've noticed the others seem to be wanting to leave earlier and earlier each night, but I don't want that. That feels like a step toward giving up our Phantom.
And that’s something I’ll never do.
As if my thoughts have power,heappears.Phantom.
