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Ghale quickly looked over at Oryll. "Is that..."
Zeal groaned. "And now, they will all know that you're the chosen one. Non-believers annoy me. Why couldn't they have simply chided you for not listening?"
"Yes," Oryll said, oblivious to his god's grumbling. "She's the one who'll be attending your weapons course."
A swell of murmurs spread through the seats around me. Eladehl simply reached over for my hand, lacing our fingers together. When I looked at him, I saw Wraythe watching me on the other side. They all knew that I was about to be the subject of every conversation for the next few days.
"Your lovers believe you," Zeal told me. "More in the last few days than ever before. They still have doubts, but they are learning. Granted, you have doubts too. Flickers where you wonder if I'm just a priest using you for his own gain, like Talin suggested."
"How do you know that?" I breathed.
Talin cupped the side of my face, but he flicked his eyes back toward the wall. His interactions would explain my whispered words to anyone who tried to eavesdrop.
The moment I looked at Zeal again, he went on. "I am a god, Nariana. I'm stronger in some places than others. The Choosing Rooms, as an example, or when a person touches the tears. That is why I submerged you in them. I needed you to take me in so I can hear you better. So I can help you better."
"With what?"
"With what priests do. As an example, you should select seduction and eroticism this year. Your partner will want to try bondage without it being a course requirement. You'll find he also enjoys subjugation, and while he seems cruel at times, he'll master the ability of using power play to make his partner - you - stronger."
"Ok, so what about them?" I meant our guardians, and hoped Zeal understood.
"Practice makes perfect, Nariana. Control is a skill that is best learned through reward, not punishment. I changed the teeth inside those rings to mere nubs. Something they will feel but not mind." He smiled. "It should actually be rather pleasurable."
"Lemme guess, and you'll be watching?"
The fury I'd seen on my Choosing Day returned. "I do not understand you!" His voice was growing louder, and it was hard to believe that no one else could hear it. "You want to be asked, so I ask, and you have no answer. You dream of a Path that has the aspects you desire, so I give it to you, and you're worried about what the people around you will think. After all of this, you still believe that I would interrupt the few moments you get with your men? Have I not waited until you were alone?"
"I thought it was so I wouldn't notice your..." Invisibility was the word I wanted, but I didn't need to say it out loud. Not with a dozen people trying to eavesdrop on my supposed conversation with Talin.
"It was so the others wouldn't notice you talking to walls. I told you, I am looking for a partner, not a pawn. I will also teach you how to talk to me without needing to voice the words. In my experience, it is a hard habit for human minds to break."
"So why here? Why now?"
"Because it felt less intrusive than entering your rooms when your lovers are there. I'm afraid I cannot knock. I come, I go. I'm trying to treat you the way I would one of my siblings, but I promise that I do not think of you as a sister."
"Then how?" I breathed.
His mesmerizing eyes held me, drawing me in. "Talin is not the only one trying to make a good impression. For now, I am being patient, but you will fall into my arms one day. And trust me, being loved by a god is nothing at all like the priests describe. Although your guardian was right about one thing. It's always about power. He just hasn't realized that the term is a vague one. Power is different for all people. For a god? It's our lives."
The class was starting to wind down and paperwork was being handed out. "How do I talk to you again, Zeal?"
"Ask me to come, and I will, Nariana. I just need an invitation. Scream it, think it, or breathe it so softly no words come out. It doesn't matter, if you ask for me, I will come."
"Maybe in my room after this?" I asked.
The look on his face turned sly. "You want me to answer their questions too, don't you?"
"I thought that might make this easier."
He leaned over Talin's shoulder until his face was beside my guardian's. "Let us make one thing clear. I am not a toy. I am not some parlor trick for you to show off. I have the wrath of a god, along with the pride. Keep all of that in mind when I say this: I am at your beck and call. I am completely infatuated with you, but that does not mean you haveallthe power here. Making another feel strong does not make me become weak." Then he turned, traced a finger along the line of Talin's neck, and smiled. "I also gave you pretty things for a reason. Use them."
Then he was simply gone.
Chapter 50
Nariana
"Why was he in our class?" Wraythe asked once the four of us made it into the hall.
