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"Ah," Jamik said. "Sounds like we need to have another of those big brother-little sister talks, huh?"
"You don't mind?" I asked.
He smiled. "If you will let me stay out here while you get dressed, then no. I will also explainthatto you, but only when you're wearing a lot more than a towel. Promise."
"Two minutes," I told him before shutting the door in his face.
Dropping the towel on my rug, I raced over to find something else that would look good enough for Amerlee's place. If her partner Shalsa was there, then I really wanted to make a good impression. I rarely got to see her or her guardian, Irila, but I still considered them to be friends. Never mind that dinner at their place was a treat I hadn't gotten inmonths.
I found a pair of soft blue pants that hung loosely on my hips, a black shirt that had long sleeves and a sweetheart neckline, but stopped just below my breasts to leave my tummy exposed, and a pair of soft sandals in black. The outfit really needed a belt, but I didn't have one, and this was the best I could do with the bras I had left. There was a reason the purple one had been my favorite.
After running a brush through my hair quickly, I grabbed a clip and hurried back to meet Jamik in the hall. At the sound of the door, he turned to me with a bright smile, only for it to fall when he saw what I was wearing.
"Weren't you ten last week?" he asked.
I rolled my eyes. "Four years ago. It's been a while."
"Feels like it's gone too fast," he corrected. "But you look pretty, Nariana." He paused. "When did your hair get so dark?"
"When it's wet. So are you going to explain why you're acting so weird tonight?" I asked.
He turned and offered me his arm the same way he always did for Amerlee. "Because it feels like I blinked and my baby sister grew into a woman. In my head, you're still a little girl that I can pick up, hug, and buy stuffed bunnies for. In my eyes, you're no longer a child. It's just that I've realized that one day, you and I could be doing the same job. Or worse, you could end up working with Amerlee, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that."
"You mean us naked together?" I wrinkled up my nose and shook my head. "She's mysister."
"And you're mine," he explained. "Which is why I've been making the same face you just did. I think I'd prefer to only see you with your clothes on, ok?"
"Because I'm not pretty?" I asked.
He stopped and turned to face me. "No, Nariana. That has nothing at all to do - " Then he stopped. "Or maybe it does. The truth is that you've started growing up and you areverypretty. As beautiful as Amerlee, but you still feel like my sister. Not like someone I'd want to kiss."
"I thought..."
He smiled. "That guardians don't touch? Well, we do kiss. That's allowed. We just aren't supposed to show excitement during a session, so we give up that option. Your friend is right. A lot of us aren't interested in that part of a relationship. It doesn't mean that we don't still want someone to care about us."
"And you?" I asked, dropping my voice so no one else could hear.
He pushed a hand across his mouth. "I miss that part. A lot, if I'm honest, but I fell in love with a woman who doesn't want me like that. Zeal found us a way to make it work. I protect her, she spends her time with women. She enjoys the comfort I offer, and yes, she loves me back, but she doesn't want to ever lay with me. I don't regret my decision, because it wouldn't happen anyway. Trust our god, little sister. He really does know what he's doing."
"But if I was a guardian - " I tried.
Jamik shook his head. "I don't see that happening. You will end up in one of two Paths. Either you'll follow the Body or the Word."
"And when Amerlee decides to change her Path? What happens to you, then?"
He palmed the back of my head. "Then I will seek the Path of the Word as well. If I'm accepted - and I've more than proven that I'm deserving - then the ring will come off. It won't be for another decade at least, and by then, I might not even care. Or I may be tired of following Amerlee around, but I doubt it."
"But what if you aren't accepted?" I asked. "Will they assign you to someone else?"
"Teaching students, most likely. Sometimes covering for a guardian who is sick or injured, although that's rare. I can always step down to a lesser Path. That's a choice, you know. Even if you're granted the Path of the Word at your Choosing, you can ask for a Path below it."
"Does anyone get the Path of the Word in their Choosing? It sounds like most move into it later."
He nodded. "Usually one or two from each year. It's the least common Path to be granted at Choosing, but it does happen." He offered his arm again. "And thank you for not being offended."
"No, Jamik, I think I'd rather kiss my real brother than you. You're the best family I've ever had, so no, I understand exactly what you mean."
He pressed his other hand over his heart. "Are you saying I'm not handsome enough to make you swoon?"
