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"And if they don't want me?" I asked.
"Then someone else will," he promised. "I am not going anywhere, Anver. That's the part I got. I'm fucking loyal to a fault. Once I decide we're friends, there's not a single thing that will come between us. You're not alone. You're just not with the ones you love... yet."
Chapter 44
Eladehl
After Anver left, Nari and I got dressed. Talin helped her. Wraythe just passed me my clothes, but his eyes searched my face. The question was there; he didn't even have to ask it. Every time I did one of these, I felt like I was on top of the world for a bit - until I wasn't. The crash always came hard and fast.
That didn't mean I couldn't hold it together, and I always did. My pride just wouldn't take me losing my shit in public. The difference was that this time, Nari would be here. She'd see it all. I could still feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, but I knew that wouldn't last nearly as long as I wanted.
"Let's get home," Wraythe told the others as he moved to put my toys away.
"I got Ela's vest and cravat," Talin said. "Nari?"
"If you have my panties, then I'm good," she promised as she pulled her dress down to hide the lack of underthings.
I put on my own clothes, worrying only about my shirt, pants, and shoes. The rest didn't matter. Wraythe grabbed my box, and as soon as I stood, he moved to open the door. I didn't miss him glancing back to Talin, the look they shared, or how Talin offered Nari his arm. She took it with a smile, somehow making me feel like this was ok.
I wasn't failing her. I hadn't lost control. I'd made it through this, but were we still ok? No, shit, that was the crash. I didn't need to think about this. I needed to focus on where I was going and how I was getting back to my room. Talin would take care of Nari. I knew he would. It was part of the reason I loved him.
"We'll meet you there in a bit," Talin told Wraythe. "Start the bath?"
"On it," Wraythe promised, matching his steps to mine. "That's permission, Ela."
Yeah, I knew. I also appreciated it. My legs stretched a little more, and we marched back home. I knew I was being a bad partner. I could tell. This was the hardest part for me, and I could feel the high fading, the worries creeping closer, and the darkness seeping in from the back of my mind. Behind us, I could hear Nari's shoes on the tile floor and Talin's sexy voice talking to her, but the words were too soft to make out. I was still terrified that they were talking about me.
Soon enough, we reached our room. Wraythe unlocked the door and opened it for me. "Bath," he ordered.
"Shower," I said.
"No, bath." He steered me toward the bedroom. "Take that shit off and I'll have it cleaned." Then he went to turn on the hot water.
"Does she hate me?" I asked.
"Right now, she hates Tishlie," Wraythe called back. "She's trying to come to terms with the fact that Anver didn't mean to break her heart, and thatbitchtore us apart. She's probably pissed that you held back, but that's the worst I could see."
"I didn't want to scare her off," I said, and we both knew I was talking about Nari, not Tishlie.
Wraythe came back into the bedroom with a soft smile on his face. "Ela, you will never scare us off. Not me, not Talin, and certainly not Nari. Sorry, but you're stuck with us. Need help?"
I just spread my arms, giving in to the inevitable. "Why are you so good to me?"
"Because you are an amazing man and a better friend," he told me. "Because when I need someone, I know you'll do the same for me." His fingers worked the buttons open on my shirt. "Because there is no other ward in the world I'd want to take care of like this, not even Nari." Then he slipped the shirt off my arms.
I hugged him, pressing my face into his chest. "Why do I do this?"
"Irila said it's something about adrenaline and part of our aftercare. She says all punishers do it, and the more intense the session, the harder you crash. It's a high, Ela, just like any drug. The difference is that yours is made from the stuff in your body. The natural kind." He leaned me back, smiling down at me. "I've been studying. Now, you want me to take off your pants too, or you gonna try to kiss me again?"
That earned a half-hearted chuckle, but I unbuttoned my own pants, kicked off my shoes, and let him steer my naked body into the bathroom. The tub was only half full, but Wraythe didn't care. He guided me into it, then turned to grab an entire stack of towels. Those went on the shelf beside the tub, just within reach, and then he sat on the edge to look at me.
"She stole Anver from us."
I nodded. "I want him back, Wraythe."
"Me too," he said softly. "I also wanted to see you break that little bitch."
"Did you see Nari with the shoe?" I asked, sinking a little deeper into the water.
