AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"You're fighting the wrong problem," he said, his mouth hovering just beside my ear.
I turned my head to see him, our faces much too close. "Are you reading my thoughts now?"
"Only the ones you think so loudly." Gently, he swept the baby hairs away from the side of my neck. "Do not assume that a priest has more power than a god, Nari. They can put you in the tears as many times as they want, but the marks on your skin are the ones I want there."
"And that won't stop them from making me follow a different Path," I countered. "I could wear as much lace as you, yet if they put me in Obligation, I'd still be washing sheets."
"And changing the temple," he added. "You see the flaws, Nari. You rail against them. I've also never asked you to do all of thisright now."
"Then when!" I snapped, my voice loud enough to make a few look over.
Zeal chuckled softly. "What I need from you now is to focus on you. I am not in danger of fading from existence. I'm growing stronger."
"And your siblings?" I asked.
His face stilled. "We have time."
"How much time?"
Zeal's gaze shifted to where Talin and Irila were sparring. "You don't sleep as deeply as you used to."
The words didn't make sense at first. I couldn't understand what that had to do with getting him more believers. On the heels of that, I wondered how he even knew, but that was obvious. It seemed that the God of Temptation was looking in on me a little more than I thought.
"I was wrong, ok?" I mumbled. "I thought I wanted to be a little of everything, and now I'm starting to see why it's not possible."
"You aren't supposed to be everything," he reminded me. "You're a Priestess of Temptation. That's one Path, Nari. Your Path."
"Yeah, but - "
"No." He stepped around to squat before me, all but forcing me to focus on him. "Listen to me. I want you to see the other Paths and understand them. I have never asked you to master them. Your only job is to be my temptation. To remind others that our faith is about more than lust, rage, and pride. This temple exists because there is a god behind it."
"I still have to live inside this system that's formed in your perceived absence."
He smiled at that. "Perceived. Those are the nuances that make me so fond of you, my beautiful little Priestess. You have so much faith in me that you never doubt that I've always been here, trying. Has it ever crossed your mind that I feel the same way about you?"
It honestly hadn't, but that phrase was just a bit too vague. "What do you mean?"
"All of these lessons were created for those who couldn't see the gods. Ways to prepare you for what comes later when you're representing me. Most people in this temple can't simply pray for advice when they need it. They can't whisper my name and have a god slip inside their skin to rip memories from a baron - as arandomexample."
"Not so random," I chuckled, getting the point. "So what am I supposed to do? I feel like everything is pulling me in different directions right now, and I'm at my limit, Zeal. I don't know how to be a submissive for Ela, or a domme to work with him. I'm neither of those things. I don't know how to pass Oryll's courses for Body. I am getting better in Protection, but I'll never be as competent as my own guardian. The more I learn how to fight, the less time I have to master loving, and then my grades slip more, and it's a never-ending spiral."
His knee hit the ground between my spread knees, then his hands caught both sides of my face. Slowly, Zeal leaned in until his lips were so very close to mine. I could feel his breath. His iridescent eyes begged me to fall into them, but I refused to let him distract me from this answer. Right now, it was what I needed most, yet my body still relaxed into his touch.
"It doesn't matter how much experience anyone else has, Nariana, if they've been doing it wrong the whole time. Stop trying to be what anyone else asks of you. Be this. Be the beautiful woman who thinks too much and makes people notice. You're not meek because you have to be. You use it like a weapon. That's what I want."
"How?" I pressed. "I don't know what I'm doing!"
"You do." Then he leaned back. "And I think you have a different lesson today. Come with me, Nari. The answers aren't in here."
I let him pull me to my feet. "Then where?"
"You're going to need a coat."
Chapter 23
Nariana
Zeal hauled me toward the door of the Salle. Before we made it, Talin passed Irila his sticks and jogged to catch up. Zeal tried to wave him off, but it seemed that my guardian didn't even listen to his god.
