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"You may be able to protect her," he said, "but not everyone can see you. Let's just keep up appearances, hm?"
"You'll need a coat too, then," Zeal said, clearly giving in.
So we made a trip past our room, but it seemed to be on the way. Talin ran in to grab a few layers for both of us. I got not only a coat but also my scarf and gloves, then Zeal continued on. He didn't say where he was going, but he'd looped my arm through his. It didn't take long before I realized we were headed toward the student side of the building.
When we entered that wing, I couldn't help but look around. Over there was where Wraythe had set me on the lip of the alcove to lean between my knees and listen to me talk. Down there, I'd had a room. Memories lurked in these halls, feeling just a little closer and a lot sweeter than they'd been while I was living them.
And then Zeal turned to a door on the back wall. A twist of the handle opened it, and my god gestured for me to go first. This was where I'd run so long ago when I'd demanded consent. On the other side was a secluded area outdoors. One that was rarely used, because the students were encouraged to relax in the enclosed courtyard instead - to stay within the boundaries of the temple.
Yet when I'd bolted, I'd left it all behind.
And the world on the other side was covered in white. Large, fat flakes of snow floated down from the sky. The ground was completely covered, with soft lumps building up against the trunks of trees that were older than even my parents. I walked into it without hesitation, holding my hands out to catch the snow.
"It snowed?" I asked.
"Has been for days," Talin admitted.
Zeal just hopped through the ankle-deep snow to catch up to me. "This," he said, gesturing around us, "is peace. It's quiet. It's still, and yet so very busy. Over there, normal people are rushing to get home. Inside, the temple carries on like it always has, letting life pass it right by. But right here, this is solace."
I huffed out a laugh, my breath fogging the air before me. "You still haven't answered my question," I reminded him.
"It's because I can't," Zeal admitted. "Nari..." He stepped in front of me and caught both of my hands. "It's your Path. It will always be your Path. I gave it to you, and I have no intention of taking it back. How you walk through life is not my decision to make. I never took away your choices. I did everything I could to give you better ones. That's all."
"Like when my parents surrendered me," I realized.
He nodded. "You had nowhere to go, so I offered a home. In truth, I fought hard to get you. Merci had a strong claim because of your brothers, but mine is even stronger."
"What claim?"
His lips curled into a smile. "Your rage. The tantrum that had you screaming for your father. But here's my question. Where did it go?"
"I don't..."
The words trailed off when Zeal lifted a brow at me. "I gave you a family. I pushed you as hard as I could. I set events in motion for you to be happy. Somewhere in there, you stopped fighting and started thinking, but here's something no human will ever tell you. Rage is just as powerful as logic. Often more." He stepped back, towing me with him toward the open land between the temples. "As a child, you refused to accept the things that were unfair. Why are you doing it now? When did sitting down and shutting up become your default?"
"But I'm supposed to..." Again, I couldn't finish. This time, it was because I didn't know what came next.
"You love beautifully," Zeal promised. "You become stronger every day. You understand my faith as if it's a part of who you are. You do for others - often too much. You serve not only me, but also your temple. You are a Priestess of all the Paths. If you had one set of marks on you, the instructors would call you an exemplary student, but you don't. Your Path is yours. I made it for you because you were right when you said you deserved to have a choice. But if you want this, then you have to fight for it."
"I don't know how!" I snapped.
"There it is," he breathed. "Did you know that rage is nothing more than releasing your own shackles? Society says you should be quiet and pretty. Your faith says you should be respectable. Your education says you should think first and do only for others. None of that is a hard and fast rule. None of it is true, Nari. You are a Priestess of Temptation, and I am not an easy god."
I heard everything he said. The words were sinking in, but I didn't know what to do with any of it. Yes, it made me feel better, but this didn't truly solve my problem.
"So, you're saying I should scream at Oryll?" I asked.
"Screaming? That seems beneath you." My god smiled and backed up a little more.
He was clearly headed somewhere, but I couldn't begin to guess what he was planning. Behind us, keeping far enough back to give us privacy, Talin followed. My guardian looked beautiful like that, as if he was some sculpture Zeal had designed to make me happy. For all I knew, he had. But Zeal still didn't stop.
"There's always a cost," I reminded my god. "That's the first lesson I learned."
"But you learned it too well," Zeal countered. "It's meant to make you weigh the options, not shy away from them. Being too careful is just as reckless as being too out of control. There is power in our baser instincts. There's also release and pleasure. There's a safety in letting go and giving in."
"To Temptation," I finished, hearing him leave those words unsaid.
Then we reached the back of the temple. Ahead of me was nothing but an open expanse of white. The center of the city was massive, set aside for the temples to the gods. Three temples sat on each of the long sides of this rectangular space, with the Temple of All Gods on the end of one short side. The other was open to the public as a park. In the middle of all of that, shielded by the size of the temples, was a secluded area.
