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"I'll cancel Nari's date with Maela, have Wraythe book a room for one afternoon, and we'll figure out all the details," I promised. "But you have to let go, Ela. Not just sex. I want you to make me beg, and I need you to let her see it."
He reached up to palm the side of my face. "What did Zeal say to you in the Salle?"
"That we're all matched to each other. I'm protective of you because you're my desire too." I leaned into his touch. "What did Grath say to you?"
"He said I'm spiraling, and I need to pull my head out of my ass, because if I'm going to protect Nari, it needs to be less about me and more about her."
"He's not wrong," I admitted.
Ela just huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, but I just have this feeling that he was nudged into our lives, you know?"
"Oh, I'm pretty sure that all of them were. From Harlin to Amerlee, I think everyone that gets close to Nari is there because a god is protecting her first."
"A god," Ela said softly, sweeping his thumb across my cheek. "You think he can fix me?"
"No, I think he already did. I think he put that guy in your path so you had to deal with this now, not later. I think Zeal knows that you'll never hurt her, Ela. I also think that if you try, he will slip into your body and make sure it doesn't go too far." I turned to kiss his wrist. "But I don't think it'll ever get that far, because while you may be beautiful, you're also stronger than any monster."
"What if I am the monster?" he asked.
I lifted my eyes to his. "Then I'm falling for a monster, and I'm ok with that."
Chapter 35
Wraythe
The next day, Talin talked to me in our Strength Training class. After we got home, I talked to Nari, making sure she was on board with a plan for Ela to "practice" his sadism with Talin in one of the official session rooms. She would be serving as Talin's guardian, just in case Ela lost control, but none of us expected that to happen - except Ela.
When I asked, Jamik agreed to book us a room. Evidently, since we were initiates, we could've been denied. If our mentors scheduled it, though, the priests assumed it was homework. That night, Amerlee came over with a key and let us know that we'd have it from the time our last class was out until dawn the next morning, and that Nari should give the key back to her when we were done.
The room number was inscribed on the end, telling us where to go. So, after Sexual Orientation let out the next day, we all headed home and got ready. Ela wanted to treat this like a proper session, which meant appropriate clothing and making an impression on his lover. He and I collected our things and headed across the hall to Talin's room to get ready, leaving the suite for the other two.
I had the key, so when we were ready - since it would take Ela less time than Nari - we'd head to the room. She and Talin would meet us there. Easy enough, and it was basically how we'd handled the last session, but this time Ela seemed nervous. He grabbed a shower and shaved, making sure all of his skin was as smooth as could be. I took that chance to get dressed so I'd be out of his way.
Sure enough, as soon as my best friend got out, he began to fuss with his clothes. With a snarl, he tossed his shirt back on the bed, turned to the one mirror in the room, and then went back for it. The fact that he was completely naked in the small space, and alone with me, didn't bother him at all - but something about this session did.
"What?" I finally asked.
He picked up his pants and pulled them on, forgoing any underwear. "Feels wrong to fuck someone in front of her."
I couldn't help it. I laughed, turning away to grab my vest in a weak attempt to hide it. "You are so in love with that woman," I teased.
"So are you," he shot back.
"Yeah? And I'm less worried about cuddling up with Talin in front of her than you are." Picking up my pocket watch, I attached the end to a button hole, and slipped the watch into my vest pocket. "What are you really worried about, Ela?"
"He wants me to be rough."
The words were soft, but somehow Ela didn't lose the pride in his voice. I also knew it was nothing but a facade. This man lived for Nari, and seeing disgust in her eyes would break him in a way that nothing else could. Thankfully, I'd talked to her about this often enough to know a few of her secrets. I figured she'd forgive me for spilling them, since right now, he really needed to hear it.
"She says that strength is sexy. It's why she likes me to manhandle her. Makes her feel like it's ok to be weak, delicate, and beautiful. Ela, Nari doesn't know how amazing she is. All she knows is that our god is depending on her, and the stronger we are, the more she feels like it's ok for her to let us help."
"This isn't strength," he countered.
"She sees it differently. To her, this is your strength. Oh, you can pick her up, hold her down, and all of that too, but most men can. Well, most of the ones around her in the temple. Me? I'm the size of a fucking mountain. Talin? He's spent his life learning to use a sword. You?"
"I'm just a fancy whore," he grumbled.
"Mhm," I agreed, simply because I knew it wasn't what he'd expect. "A deadly one who does the exact same thing she does. Might be a slightly different way, but you make them love you, and then you use that to destroy them. She breaks their hearts. You break their bodies. Ela, how many times do we have to tell you that it's ok? Look at what she did with Tishlie!"
