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But Jeerad leaned closer. "So how's Papa doing, anyway?"
"He seems good," I told them. "He felt guilty about me, but he'd hoped that the four of you would have chances he couldn't give us otherwise. He still doesn't know how to read, but Ichi does. And yes, Ichi's sired by Papa, so his kids will also see the gods. I'm not sure if I should tell him about that, though. Papa said I can write to them." Sucking in a breath, I dug into my pocket. "Right, and I have their address for you."
"I'll make copies for the others," Cesyr said, taking the paper. "Personally, I want to know more about Merci. I mean, you said she led you here?"
I nodded. "She was waiting when Maela - Lady Ranndor - escorted me over. Maela's one of the Baron of Compassion's children, so she knows this temple."
Xakiri turned to look around. "But where did she go?"
"Maela and Merci went to talk," I said. "Maela can see your goddess too."
"Can we?" Jeerad asked.
"If you have faith, you can." I looked at each of them. "The trick is to believe in her. Not in her ideas or that someone's playing a trick on me. You have to believe that she is real, she's here, and she is a goddess."
Talin made a noise like that wasn't quite right. "For me, when I saw Zeal, it happened when I stopped wondering what the catch was. I knew Nari was talking to him. I believed in my god, but I kept thinking that someone was using Nari's faith against her. I honestly believed that she thought she saw him, but I assumed there was some trick, some purpose, or some other intent behind it all. Divine or not, I was looking for the underlying reasons this would be happening. There aren't any. Our gods are actually fading because we stopped believing."
"They're dying," I clarified. "For gods, they're either real or imagined, but it correlates to us being alive or dead. They don't age. Instead, they fade from our awareness. Zeal is gaining power because I've helped others believe in him again, but Merci said there are only four in the temple who can see her, and that includes Maela."
"Believe," Cesyr said. "I can do that. How will I know her?"
"She's covered in lace - " I stopped because that wasn't right. "Whatever you call the blue on your skin."
"Markings," Xakiri offered.
"Yeah. Those," I said. "Merci's covered from her collar down to her toes, and there's no place on her skin that won't have it. Those are pieces of souls that she wears. She's darker-skinned, but the shade is like wet sand, almost golden."
"It's the eyes," Talin said. "The gods have eyes that are made of motes of colors. Nari once described them as a kaleidoscope, and that's the best I have. The colors shift, the specks move, and with each blink, they look different. No one has eyes like that except a god or goddess."
"So, not ten feet tall?" Jeerad joked.
"No!" I laughed. "Zeal's a little shorter than Talin. Merci's..." I paused, trying to remember. "Maybe as tall as me? She's beautiful, though. It's not stunning in the way that makes people stop and stare. It's perfection come to life. She'll look attractive from a distance, but the closer you get, the more you realize that there isn't a single thing wrong with her. No scars, no blemishes, and her features look almost unreal. They also seem to prefer when we talk to them as people, not rulers or above us."
"They're lonely," Talin added. "They've spent centuries talking to each other, and they long for a simple chat with a friend."
Cesyr was smiling almost wistfully. "She sounds perfect. I can't wait to meet her." But then he tapped the paper that still laid before him. "And I want to see my sister again, so you have to give me your address, Nari. I'm a disciple, so I'm allowed off the grounds between assignments. Jeerad's always here researching something, but I could probably drag him along too."
"I'd love to see Temptation," Jeerad said.
Kynsana huffed at them. "What about me?"
"Gotta make it through initiate training," Cesyr taunted. "But I have a feeling that Xak might want to brag about where he gets placed when he goes through Choosing."
"Maybe I'll even come to celebrate with you when they unlock the doors," I said, deciding on the spot that I liked the idea.
"Really?" Xak asked. "Oh, that would be amazing, Nariana! Then I could introduce you to my friends. We always knew we had a sister in another temple, but not which one. Papa wouldn't talk about it when he got home."
"And we never said the names of those who'd been surrendered," I agreed, remembering that.
"It felt like all of you died," Kynsana said. "One day, Papa took you to town, and then he came back alone with dried goods. When my turn came, I was so scared!"
"Me too," I agreed. "Papa walked me right up to the basin for Compassion, but when he tried to leave, I slapped the water and my hands had black lace where they touched. His eyes got huge, so I was convinced I'd messed up." I licked my lips quickly. "That's what took me so long, you know. The way he reacted convinced me that all of you would do the same."
Cesyr just reached across the table and clasped my hand. "Never, Nari. We're family. If nothing else, we all share a mother - "
"We share more than that," I countered. "Cesyr, we share hardships. We share those nights under the blankets, hoping the storm didn't blow the walls down. We share staying up on the Darkest Night, trying to outlast Papa, and hiding in corners when Mama was in a mood. We were all hungry. We all were cold and tired."
"And we all ended up with the gods," he agreed. "Besides, we wouldn't be very good Priests of Compassion if we judged you for the god who claimed you, right? The four of us? We'reverygood priests."
