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A nip on my shoulder made me whimper. As he slid back the next time, he ducked his head to bite the top of my breast, making me flinch in surprise. Then he thrust into me even harder, making it clear he liked that, so I stopped helping. I stopped trying to lead. Instead, I just let him have me. All of me.
"Fuck," he groaned. "Nari..."
And I melted into him. Each time his hips met mine, my body shifted a little further back, but I didn't try to stop it. I made him worry about me. I let him take care of me. I wanted to see him the way others did, and to make this monster mine.
He pulled my hips against him again, forcing me to shove a hand back for balance. Holding me like this, with one hand on my leg and the other on my throat, he couldn't play with my clit, so he rolled his hips, adding pressure with his body. I wanted this to last as long as possible. I was loving the feel of my man, my partner, finally trusting himself enough to not hurt me. The power in him was so alluring. The intensity of his movements, his grip on my skin, and his mouth tormenting every inch of me he could reach was amazing.
Then he flicked his tongue over my hardened nipple, and I felt my legs tremble. He moved to the other breast and sucked, adding a little more rub with the next roll of his hips. My legs locked around his ass, pulling him into me, and I knew I was close. So close. I just needed him to suck a little harder - but he didn't.
He just clenched the fist around my throat, straightened to look into my face, and pumped himself deep into my body. I tried to gasp, but couldn't. I felt the air burning in my lungs, but it matched the sparks shooting through my nerves. Again, then again, he fucked me, each time feeling harder and better than the last.
But when he leaned in, his lips never quite made it to mine. "Cum," he told me. "Oh, my beautiful little desire, try to suck in another breath. Struggle against me. You just gave yourself to me, and I know your head will start spinning soon." Another deep pump of his hips, but slower, pressing against my upper wall to drive me higher. "Your eyes will start to dart soon, desperate for a breath, but you're too strong to pull at my hand. You just take and take and take, and..." He grunted softly, trying to hold it in. "You feel so fucking good when you do it."
I was right there. I was sure my body would break at any moment as my climax hit. I just needed something to push me over the edge, but he was carefully holding off, tormenting me as the need to breathe grew overwhelming. On its own, my body tried to gasp, struggling to suck in some air, and that was when he finally gave it. Releasing my hip, he pressed two fingers between us and rubbed at my clit.
I wanted to moan. I needed to breathe. I couldn't take all of this, but it didn't matter. When he buried himself inside me again, I came, and harder than I ever had before. My mind was delirious from the lack of air. My body was on fire from the pleasure coursing through it, and just as I tensed, his fist let go.
I breathed, I came, and I shuddered around him. Ela wrapped his arms around me, holding me even as he rocked with the waves of my pleasure. But when he finally gave in, he merely pressed his face against my neck and sighed, the air catching in the middle as he spilled himself inside me.
"That," he whispered, pausing to pant for breath. "Nari, that's how you fight. You are only meek because you use it to take control. You give in to win. You don't fight, you manipulate. You change the subject, and then you make sure you are the one getting exactly what you want." Then he leaned back to look at my face. "Even the parts I never wanted to show you." And his fingers traced the burning skin on my throat.
I cupped the side of his face, aware that I was still breathing too hard and my head felt a little fuzzy. "But I want all of you, Ela. That's what I mean when I say that I love you."
"By Zeal," he sighed, hugging me again, "I love you so much, Nari. More than I ever thought possible, because you are strong enough to handle me."
"All of you," I agreed.
Chapter 49
Anver
When Talin was telling us what happened, Ela went after Nari. Wraythe almost followed, but I stopped him. The three of us shared a look, but we could all feel it. She was humming with her emotions, the intensity of them traveling through our guardian bonds, and I had a feeling that she didn't need sweet understanding. She needed Ela.
So when we heard the furniture banging against the walls, it was no surprise. Wraythe went the long way around to make sure things were still ok, and Talin and I moved into the sitting room so the banging wouldn't be as distracting. When Wraythe came out of the bedroom, he was grinning like a little boy.
"He has his hand around her neck, but I'm not convinced that he's in charge," he told us.
"He never has been," I pointed out. "They just needed to figure out that the other really does trust them."
But while the fuck-fest made Nari feel better, it didn't make the real problem go away. I slept fitfully that night, thinking about it. Kinen was waging a political war against Nari, and that was her weakness. He spun his half-truths, widening the divide in the temple as a way to distract from his own failings. Zeal had more followers than ever before, but faith in our god wasn't always the same thing as faith in what Zeal wanted for the temple.
And the other gods couldn't help. Merci was doing the best, with Savi not far behind her. The rest? Bode's only believer was a priest in the Temple of All Gods. Will and Charisma were frantic with the lack of faith, railing about how they couldn't even push their High Priests enough to influence their thoughts. And Will had said something that my mind replayed all night long.
"So long as the gods are a myth, the men will be in control, and they aren't worried about taking care of anyone but themselves."
Yesterday, I'd been focused on the last half of that, but as I slipped in and out of sleep, I realized it was the first half that was so important. I woke up for my grappling class, and decided that it was time for me to do something as this Shadow. Listening to the gods and letting them breathe in my faith wasn't enough. Like Nari said, we needed to do something, and there was one thing that sprang to mind.
I walked into my first class of the day and sought out Ursula. She wasn't there. Instead, there was some new priest I'd never met before. I asked if he knew where she was, but he said she'd been reassigned and that he was now instructing the class. Well, there went my brilliant idea. Without Roek or Ursula to approve me slipping out of the temple, this wouldn't be as easy.
I tried to concentrate on my lessons instead, but I kept thinking about the gods. Arion, the High Priest of Intuition, was the one who'd sided with the believers. He couldn't see his god, but he had faith, and that seemed to be the best place to start. I needed to talk to him, but it sounded like most High Priests had business hours for meetings. I was in class for most of that time, so how could I make this work?
So when my first class got out, I headed to the hall where I always ran into Nari and the guys. Thankfully, Nari was in a much better mood, but mine was growing surly. I tried to smile with them and join in the conversation, but I just couldn't. So when I saw Roek leave their class, I couldn't help myself.
"Priest Roek?" I called out, getting his attention.
That made my partners fall silent. Roek and Saval shifted their direction to come closer, and my Protection instructor jerked his chin to us. "Can I help you?" he asked.
"Sir, I need to miss the next few classes. I don't know how many, but I..."
