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"I'm not fucking going without you!" I snapped.
She didn't even flinch from the volume of my rage. "Anver will stay with me." And she reached up to turn my face to hers. "Maela needs you there. Yamina does too."
"So do I," Thiemo said softly. "We'll take Nari if you want, and I'll say I didn't relay the message, but please, Talin?"
"I'm not going alone," I decided, shaking my head to make my point clear. "Mom can't ask that of me. I also won't make Nari deal with that, so there's only one solution. If our mother won't accept my desire, then she doesn't accept me. I'm not giving up Nari for a family whose name I no longer carry, Thiemo."
"I'll go," Ela said, pushing to his feet. "Nari can stay here with Anver and Wraythe. If Pia wants to lash out at someone, I'll take it, Talin. I don't mind, and I won't leave you alone."
So Nari pushed to her feet, caught my hand, and tugged. "Which means you need to get dressed." I gave in, letting her pull me up, but her focus shifted to Thiemo. "How long do we have?"
"Two hours," he admitted. "I..." His tongue darted out to moisten his lips. "I needed to get out of the house."
Which was when Anver moved to guide my brother deeper into the room. "Come," he said gently. "Sit. Tea?"
"Whiskey?" Thiemo begged.
Anver just smoothed my brother's hair back. "Tea," he said instead. "This is not a situation that alcohol can cure, Thiemo. I'll get you tea and a shoulder to lean on. It also comes with an ear that is willing to listen."
Wraythe just looked over at Ela. "Need help dressing?"
"He needs help," Ela said, flicking a finger at my brother. "I know how to button a shirt."
Then he moved to help Nari guide me into the bedroom. We didn't stop there, though, and kept going until we reached the dressing room. Without asking, Nari began to help me undress, and Ela headed straight into the closet.
"I shouldn't be doing this," I told her.
She eased my shirt over my head. "Yes, Talin, you should."
"But if my mother is refusing to let you attend..."
"It means she's grieving," Nari countered. "It means she needs her children. It means she needs you, not me, and I'll be safe here with Anver. Attacking me would hurt you, but Ela? She can vent her rage on him. He's strong enough to take it, Talin, and your family deserves their own closure."
Ela stepped out of the closet to place a set of black clothes on the couch beside me. "I did this to him, Talin. I'll take everything she needs to get out."
"We did this," I corrected.
Ela just stepped in and palmed both sides of my face. "I did this. This time, it's not on you. I'm the one who pushed too far, and you know what? I'm ok with that. I'm sorry this is hurting you, and I hate that my actions made you feel this way, but that's theonlything I'm sorry for. I'm also a fucking priest. My duty is to take the abuse so that my patron can let it out, direct it in a healthy way, and give them an outlet."
"But..."
He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine and cutting off my words. "Talin," Ela begged, "I'm just terrified that you hate me for this."
"You did what I couldn't," I breathed, looking into his soft, dark eyes. "I can't hate you."
"You could," he said softly. "So let yourself for a moment. Let your mother. Let me do this for you, because you deserve one last goodbye."
I nodded, giving in, because I knew he was right about the closure, but he was wrong about one thing. Stepping out of my pants, I kicked those out of the way, and then pressed myself right into Ela's chest, making his arms wrap around me whether he wanted them to or not.
"I couldn't hate you," I breathed against the side of his neck. "I love you, Eladehl. I love you more for doing what I couldn't. I love you for protecting Nari when I didn't know what to do, for getting there first, and for holding nothing back." And I gripped him a little tighter. "I refuse to regret what we did! He tried to rape her. He deserved it. I also just wanted him to learn, but he couldn't. He was made into the kind of man who couldn't survive this world, and all we did was show him that."
My voice cracked, and for a long moment, I simply clung to Ela, letting him hold me up and keep me stable. I could feel Nari's worry in my lace, and it was like her arms were around me too. I couldn't hate them for what we'd all done, and Elawaswrong. We had done this together. I'd kept everyone out. I was as responsible for what had happened as everyone else.
But it wasn't my fault. It was Tath's. It was Dad's. It was this entire fucking world that tried to destroy us for not being what they wanted. The problem was that no one was what society wanted. We were meant to be unique, to think, to feel, and to live our own lives our way! My brother had tried to resist that, and he'd paid with his life. Now, I was caught in the middle of it, and I would not make the same mistakes.
"I hope he can finally be happy," I whispered, needing to put the words into the world.
"Tell him that," Ela said, leaning back to see my face. "And when you do, I'll be right beside you."
