AllFreeNovel
Share Us
When Zeal reached me, I took the chance to check on Nari one more time, then headed back into the waiting area by the bottom of the stairs. It wasn't quite a room so much as an antechamber to the infirmary entrance. Zeal and I both claimed chairs, leaning back to get comfortable because this was going to be a long wait.
"You did that to show off for her," I teased.
The God of Temptation flashed me a devious smile. "So?"
"I'm just saying that I noticed," I assured him. "Then again, so did she."
"And that's what's important," he admitted. "Farik also needed a push, and Jola doesn't deserve to suffer for serving me."
"So do you heal all of them?" I asked, tipping my head toward the doorway to show I meant every patient.
Zeal shook his head. "Not all of them believe. Not even all of her class does. The worst part is that I can't blame them. We were gone for too long, worried about our own issues and not their problems. When faith started to slip, we thought it was relaxing to have more time."
"Because you don't have as much now," I realized.
Zeal reached up to scrub at his face. "More than half the temple believes in me, Talin. When I took a risk on Nari, hoping she would be able to save us, I never expected this. She's so much more than my Voice. We'd hoped that we would gain a handful of followers in her lifetime. And from those, we would be able to grow our faith again. Instead, half the temple believes in me, and she's still just an initiate."
"Because she realized the real problem," I explained. "The system of this temple is broken. Your High Priest is corrupt, and he's making sure he and his pals get the lion's share of the benefits of being a priest. It's not fair, and that is what makes them lose faith. It's not you. It's not your lack of interaction with us, Zeal. It's not even how many prayers you answer. It's that the harder we try, the more we're punished for it."
"And how are you punished?" he asked.
I grunted at a lack of a ready answer. "I have nothing to complain about."
"And still you complain," Zeal pointed out. "I also know better.What do you have to complain about, Talin?"
"That I'm not good enough for her," I shot back, the words falling from my lips before I could stop them.
I tried to catch them, to suck them back in, or something, because I hadn't meant to say that. I hadn't even consciously thought it. Instead, his question had compelled them.
"How did you do that?" I asked.
His iridescent eyes found mine and held them. "More than half the temple believes. People outside the temple - normal citizens - are starting to. I get stronger every day. Nari did that. You did that. You're also wrong. You are good enough for her. That's why I gave you to her."
"No, you gave me to her because Anver fucked up."
"Anver was never right for her," he countered. "I wanted to guide him that way, but he resisted. When Ciella almost ruined my plans for Ela, Anver slipped away. I had to pick one or the other because I was too weak to focus on both."
"So you picked Ela," I realized.
Zeal nodded. "Ela was always hers. Did you know that on the Day of Surrender, he saw Nari's stubbed and bleeding toe and wanted to help? He was trying to guard her even then, but he wasn't meant for that Path. He was filled with dangerous, toxic desire, and I knew it would destroy anything it touched if not handled properly. So, I had to teach him love first."
"But Ciella tortured him, ruining that," I realized.
"Triggered," Zeal corrected. "Ela was made for pain. He was wired to destroy others. That boy was the perfect weapon, if only he could be honed into something that could be wielded. Wraythe did that. His friendship taught Ela how to love and protect, not just destroy."
"And then they met Nari," I realized.
"Mhm," Zeal agreed. "And where were you that whole time?"
I blew out a breath. "I dunno, in my own classes?"
"Yes, fighting against everything you'd been raised to embrace. You ignored the pretty priestesses who wanted to love you in favor of a boy who would scandalize your family. You learned to think for yourself, to treasure a friend who was honest even if she wasn't beautiful, and to stand up for what you thought was right. You, Talin Ranndor, learned to be more than a shallow shell of a man."
"And?" I asked. "We both know that you sent Nari that night to lure me back. You never needed me."
"She did," he countered. "And no, not your name. That woman could only be paired with a guardian who wouldn't feel intimidated by her strength. She needed the one man who would push her. She still needs the friend who will cut when she can't and block when she isn't ready. She needs the lover who thinks of her as more than the lace she wears, and don't think I haven't heard your thoughts."
All I could do was nod. "So what am I supposed to do?"
