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Chapter Fifty Seven
Blair
It’s the hardest drive I’ve ever done.
I’ve survived death. I’ve survived losing my love, my friends, and even my father. I’ve survived being harassed, assaulted, and degraded… but this?
It ruins me.
I can still hear Cyrus’s roar, Bray’s cries, and Asher’s pleas. I can still see their broken, begging gazes and feel their hands trying to hold onto me.
I had a rule—leave before they leave me, get out before I get hurt. Well, I left, but I’m hurting more than I could have ever imagined. I never meant to fall in love with my stepbrothers, but life has a funny way of giving you exactly what you need.
I walked away from it.
It’s a mistake I feel in my bones, but I can’t go back, not yet. Instead, I grip the wheel and press the gas, trying to outrun my pain and desire to turn around. I crank up the music, even as tears drip steadily down my face. I don’t know where I’m going; I know nothing beyond my next laboured breath.
When I finally come to a stop half an hour later, I realise where I am.
Mary’s Haven.
I don’t know why I linger, but the gates open, giving me a choice—go forward or back. I do the only thing I can, I head through them.
I sit in the idling car outside, watching the place that I fell in love with just yesterday. Not only that, but I also made love on the grounds while Bray promised to be mine forever. I broke his heart. I know that. I also know he didn’t cheat. He might have been a man whore before we were together, but he wouldn’t lie to me.
So no, he didn’t cheat. I used it as an excuse to break their hearts, knowing it was the only way they would let me go. I thought if I could do that, my stalker would follow me and leave them alone. Faulty logic, I know, but at that moment, it seemed like a good idea.
Was it?
Did I do nothing more than just hurt us all? I’m bleeding from an open wound, and as if she knows, Mary opens the front door, smiles, and waits, letting me decide. How does she know that I need the choice? My life has been filled with decisions being made for me because of him and my PTSD. It’s time I took it back, it’s time I decided the direction my life is taking.
And it starts here.
He could come for me here, I know the risk, but for some reason, I feel compelled to talk to Mary. If I go to Faye, she would just call me an idiot, and I need someone who isn’t biased. I need someone to tell me if what I’m doing is right.
Lexi and Allegra would support whatever I chose, but Mary? She wants the best for me, for every girl.
I can’t change breaking their hearts, but I can change me not getting them killed. First, though, I need to figure out how.
I turn off my engine and get out. She smiles sadly and wanders inside. I follow her and find her in the kitchen. Sitting heavily, I turn my gaze wistfully to the side to see the empty seat where Bray sat. Suddenly, a mug is placed before me, and I grab it and take a sip, expecting tea, but the strong burst of vodka makes me cough in shock. She laughs, sitting opposite me with her own mug.
“Don’t tell the girls. I hide some for emergencies, and this felt like one.”
I take another sip as she watches me.
“Bray sent me a text telling me to keep my eye out for you.”
“That boy.” I sigh.
“He loves you.” She says it so easily.
“How do you know?” I ask.
“He wouldn’t have brought you here if he didn’t.” She raises her brow as if to say that’s obvious. “But you’re not here for that. What’s wrong, Blair?”
Looking down at the mug, I play with the handle, the vodka warming my stomach and throat. “How do you know if you’re doing the right thing? Is it better to stay even if it hurts that person, maybe badly, in the long run? Or is it better to leave, causing just a sharp, sudden pain they can get over?”
She hums as she thinks. “It depends. Do any of you end up happy if you leave? Or do you end up wishing you had done something different?”
