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ONE
My nightmares slipped away as my eyes fluttered open, revealing the dim light of my bedroom. I turned on the lamp and checked the time: 11:00 p.m. I'd barely slept an hour and a half. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I stood from my bed, stretching as I walked over to the small, square window.
A protector from the guild where my mom worked glided through the evening fog and stationed himself outside the front door. That meant my mom would be spending another night at headquarters, leaving me to the protection of the guild's security.
Everyone was on high alert, but whenever I asked her about it, I got the same answer:“It's nothing for you to worry about.”It hadn't always been that way. She used to confide in me years ago when I was practicing magic and getting somewhere with it. I was expected to follow in her footsteps and protect mortals against vampires, but I had failed one too many times. It didn’t help that I was also terrible at combat, and now with my powers weak and the grief of losing Astor, they looked at me as if I were broken. Maybe they were right.
It had been fourteen days since my boyfriend died. He was the only person who truly understood me, and he was gone, his soul now with the gods we worshiped. Whenever I tried to contest the way he died, I was shut down, and I was expected to believe the heightened security at our house had nothing to do with his death. Astor was one of them, after all, a guard at the Guild for the Protection of Mortal Beings—a secret society that safeguarded us mortals.
I pressed my forehead against the cool glass pane and squeezed my lips together. Sometimes it felt like someone had pushed pause on my life, like I was standing still while the rest of the world moved on. I was supposed to start college last year, but I put it on hold for Astor. He needed me here, only twenty minutes from the guild, and not in some dorm across the city. When he got sick, everything changed. He continued to work, but as his health deteriorated, he took more time off, eventually traveling north for a month to visit his dad and half-siblings.
My breath fogged up the window as I stared out at the full, pale moon. Nighttime was my favorite. There was something mystical about seeing the glittering stars against the black canvas. I thought about him, losing myself in view of the horizon. I stared hazily at the trees silhouetted against the hilly horizon, waving gently in the breeze. The streetlamps lining the sidewalk flickered beyond our gate, emitting a cool white hue. Moving my gaze to the protector stationed at our front door, and another by the gate, I opened my heart enough to reach out—to feel a taste of their emotions to ease the heaviness in my chest—but as always, their feelings were only a distraction from my own grief.
Everyone called me an empath, but I was more than that. Not only could I feel the way others did, but with my magic, I could manipulate their emotions. It had served me well when my mom had gotten angry or Astor had become panicked over his sickness. I'd taken it all away with just a touch. However, it wasn't always a gift. At Astor's funeral, I couldn't keep up the barrier I'd built over the years to protect myself from feeling what everyone did all the time. It opened like a floodgate when I felt overwhelmed, and all that grief almost killed me.
I stepped back, almost toppling into my desk in half-thought, and grabbed the edge to steady myself. I looked at an open notebook, one of many in which I'd scribbled some half-coherent ideas before tossing it into an ever-growing pile. I closed the cover on the last thing I'd written before Astor died. I couldn't find the motivation to pick up a pen since then.
I released a slow breath and moved my gaze to my unmade bed. I thought back to the last night I'd spent with Astor, how he'd ran his fingers through my hair and talked about his visit up north. He'd always wanted to travel more, but hadn't made it outside of our kingdom, Baldoria. If I'd known that would be the last time I would see him, I would have said so much more.
They hadn’t found a body, but no one survived a fall off the white cliffs. Even if that didn’t kill him, the rocks at the bottom would have. So all I knew was that he was gone, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe he wasn’t coming back. Every time the door to my bedroom opened, I half expected him to walk inside.
Tears crept into the corners of my eyes, threatening to break through again. I swallowed thickly, allowing them to pour over, trickling down my cheeks. I pushed my red curls out of my face, which caught against my nails. Then, pulling the pillow only he used against my nose, I breathed in the fading scent of his honey and shea butter shampoo. I’d used it on myself to recreate his scent last week, but it didn’t smell the same on me.
My bedroom door creaked open, and my mom walked in, holding a steaming cup of cocoa in my favorite purple mug. A faint smell of cinnamon mixed with chocolate hit my nostrils, removing Astor’s scent altogether. “Olivia, honey.” Her brown gaze narrowed when she saw my tear-patterned cheeks. “If you won’t eat anything, you should at least drink something, so here.” She placed the mug on my nightstand and sat on the edge of my mattress. I noticed she was dressed head to toe in black spandex, the typical uniform of protectors.
“You’re leaving again,” I stated.
“Yes.”
“I assume you won’t tell me why.”
“It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“I’m not a child, Mom,” I said tentatively, “you can tell me what’s happening.”
She tucked a lock of black hair behind her ear. “It’s complicated. You have enough going on. I don’t want to worry you.” She reached over to touch my hand but thought better of it. “Draven will be here soon to keep you company.”
“I don’t need a bodyguard,” I said, although I did want to see him. I just hated her looking at me like some fragile thing that could break at any moment.
“He’s your friend.”
“I know.” I rubbed the side of my neck. “But if he wasn’t with the guild, would you even allow us to be friends?”
“Of course,” she said, but we both knew it was a lie. No one had come in or out of this house who didn’t belong to the guild. On rare occasions, when I was allowed outside of the house, it was always with her.
After I turned eighteen, I’d expected her to loosen the reins a little, but it didn’t happen. Now I was nineteen, and I was still stuck in this house all the time unless I was with her or a member of the guild. I supposed that was what happened when one is a sorceress. We were rare and desired by the vampires in the neighboring kingdom, Sanmorte.
I sat upright, pushing my back up against the wall. “I know something’s going on.” I chewed over my words. “If it has something to do with Astor, please tell me. I can take it. I just need to know the truth.”
“It’s not that.” She hesitated, then sighed. “There have been a couple of vampire attacks.”
My chest tightened. “In Ismore?” Ours was the biggest city in the south of Baldoria. I couldn’t believe vampires would ever come inside the city. We were infamous for having a guild headquarters here.
“They’ve remained at the outskirts. It’s unlikely they’ll come into the city, but we must still be prepared.”
My stomach dipped. “Do you think Astor was killed by one of them?”
“No. That was…” She trailed off, lowering her head.
